My boyfriend's ex-wife did not have their kids call him on Christmas. He lives in a different state and she has pretty much alienated him from her life. They kids call sporadically (they are 8 and 4) and since he lives out of state, he visits when he can. His ex does not answer the phone when he calls and does not return messages. He completely pays for all their support (house, cars, food, expenses) even though he had a job loss at the beginning of the year. They have not finished their divorce yet. I understand the what it feels like to call and call and leave messages and yet be rejected everytime. He is trying hard to be strong, but he broke down and cried yesterday because they did not call. I think he was just praying they would. He probably couldn't bear to try himself because they never answer. Has anyone been through this before? How can he overcome this?
2007-12-26 04:23:54 · 9 answers · asked by Helpful26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wont judge you or your situation and I understand what your going through. But if this all is really happening then simply document everything and give it to your lawyer so it can be evaluated during the dovirce proceedings.
If you really want to push it then send her a notification that you intend on exercising your right for visitation, or to call. Send it certified mail and return receipt. This way you will have a record of your intentions.
Its sad things come to this but try to deal with it the best you can. Over time the wounds will heal and things hopefully will get better.
2007-12-26 05:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by Slick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's see...he lives states away from his children and yet his divorce isn't final yet...and here you are in the picture...and they're not divorced yet. Sounds like he made his choice to be with you rather than respect his marriage until he got a final decree of divorce so since he isn't respecting his marriage why should his NOT YET ex wife respect him? He obviously made his choice...he should have figured that choice would have an effect on EVERYONE'S life.
2007-12-27 02:52:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bitter and spiteful woman. Im sorry to say this will continue til the divorce is final and he gets visitation rights. Tell him to continue to be strong and encourage him to keep calling and writing to them this will show them that he does care and loves them despite what his x-wife is planting in their head. Ppl tend to not notice that children are smarter then what they are. They will know in the end that he loves them!!! Encourage and support him to not give up.
Good luck to both of you!!
2007-12-26 12:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please remember there are two sides to every story. He probably isn't quite as charming and wonderful as you believe. First off....why does he live states away from his kids, was that his choice because if it was there's your first reason not to feel sorry for him. Second I seriously doubt he is paying for everything even down to the food, common don't exagerate to prove your point or you don't really have a point. And third, the kids are 8 and 4 maybe it's just to hard on them to have a dad who's only a phone dad, every think of that genius? Yea maybe just maybe this mom is protecting her kids hearts from hurt because they are so young and it isn't all about your boyfriend. "they have not finished the divorce yet" pretty much tells us exactly what kind of father and husband he is.
2007-12-26 12:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
The kind that should have never had children to start with.
Maybe he should be the better man and call them himself. My philosophy is if someone is a jerk, the best way to show them up is to "one-up" them by being the better person.
2007-12-26 18:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by Marvin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can possibly appeal to the courts to request them administer a court appointed person to be there when he wants to call so that he can talk to them. she could possibly lose the kids if she's abusive towards the father while the kids are there too. if the divorce isn't finished, can he have his lawyer call and put paperwork in regarding visitation via phone with a court to supervise? just an idea.
2007-12-26 12:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by jenisilly80 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
she is bitter its sad cause they r always going to b conected by the kids best thing i can sugest is family medation yes he lives n a nother state but it can still b done thru the courts it may cost a him but if he loves his kids it would b worth it there r programs available seek them out does she get publice assistance? if so check the agency she is going thru does she go to church? check out there programs remind him that this is not for her its for the kids
2007-12-26 12:45:38 · answer #7 · answered by DAVE H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there isnt enough money or force that could get me to call my dad on christmas and when i was younger my mom never made me they dont live with him
hes not around just cause he sends money doesnt mean they feel any need to talk to him
2007-12-26 12:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by Delena J 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
the hateful b*tch is gonna do whatever she can to hurt him, and there is nothing he can do about it!! Good luck and just keep trying!!!
2007-12-26 12:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by DJ 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋