I flirted with an old friend, never had sex with her. We flirted for a short period of time. My wife's had it and now wants to leave me. Any suggestions on what i need to do to earn her trust?
2007-12-26 03:47:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start by being completely honest. Put the shoe on your foot. What if she had "flirted" with an old flame? How would you feel right now? And don't be cavalier with your answer, think about it. She was all flirty, talking sexy maybe, thinking about him while you were having sex, imagining him in her arms.
Now, what would she need to do to earn your trust again? That my friend is the answer.
Flirting feels good when it is happening, but it is a form of cheating. Respect and trust are hard earned, to just throw them away for a moment is not being responsible.
Think before you act, lay your heart and soul out to her and ask her what you can do to earn her trust. Start by being truly sorry for what happened. Remember how you would feel if it was her, and let your emotions for her out (if you love her)
Yoda out
2007-12-26 03:55:59 · answer #1 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to Forgive and Forget; I went through this when I was young (21) and became very controlling with her; I didn't make things better I just pushed her farther away. Resist the urge to snoop; be romantic for no reason irregardless of how she reacts. Don't interrogate her when she's gone longer than you expect; trust her. I would also suggest a counselor. If those don't help there's always the saying about loving someone and setting them free. Cheating is not something I tolerate; once a cheater; always a cheater. IMO.
2016-05-26 07:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prove to your wife that you have not had any sex with your friend.
Yes it very difficult and delicate.
Sex is considered as limit of faith and trust. One can tolerate flirting and all but not physical relation. As long as your wife is under impression that you had sex with your friend, your relation will not come to normal, you are not going to gain her trust and faith.
I will tell my example.. I caught my wife with her friend coming from restaurant. How can I believe that there was no physical relation between my wife and her friend? How many times they met? Where they met? What the did? I still follow her, try to trace her and things like that. Then I caught by her doing these things. So life becomes very difficult & disturbed . You loose peace of mind.
Please don't do this kind of things in your life. It really feels sad.
All the best.
2007-12-26 04:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by ssd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirting isn't sex, but it's a sign of a cheater... your wife's unconsious is using it was a reason to label you a cheater and guess what, she's right.
You f*cked up, and I'm a guy dude... if my GF flirted for a few days, hours , whatever with an ex, I'd leave her..
No matter what anyone wants to say, or simply won't admit, flirting ALWAYS has sexual undertones, only a fool or a child would say otherwise.
She'll never trust you again, she might lie to herself from mind-f*cking with chocolate and flowers, but she'll never trust you again...EVER
2007-12-26 04:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by Undead 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to do is end all contact witht he old friend. Not all contact that anyone knows about...but ALL CONTACT. Then you need to suggest you and wife go to counseling. You need to face the music, and a counselor will help you. I would also strongly suggest reading a book called "After the Affair." Although, you think it wasn't an affair, this book will give you some really good ideas on how to clean up your mess. Good luck.
2007-12-26 03:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by xp2c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop talking to this old friend... permanently... also, if you web cammed naked or did any sort of cyber sex this is still sex... =( sending naked pics is still sexual...
I don't know all that was involved but you have to stop all contact w/ this person totally, and put them on ignore if they don't leave you alone when you tell them to leave you alone!
if you keep talking to this woman, your wife will never trust you again... and that's the truth...
I would divorce over this issue if I was her and you didn't stop this behaviour... no more flirting with anyone, ever again...
2007-12-26 03:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back rather than an over reaction.
Don't engage in behaviors behind your wife's back that you wouldn't do in front of her.
Sit down and talk to your wife about what you need to do to earn her trust back.
Offer to go into marriage counseling if that is what she wants. Then go into marriage counseling and do the work that you need to do to make your marriage work.
If all of this is too little, too late, then you learn the lessons you need to learn so you treat the next one with more respect.
2007-12-26 03:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You seem to me minimizing and not accepting that you cheated. To your wife, this is cheating...not flirting. How do you flirt for a short amount of time?
You are going to have to tell your wife EVERYTHING and get counseling together so that you can see that you understand her feelings.
2007-12-26 03:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. Men say it is difficult to figure women out. That's not true. It is very easy. YOU CAN NEVER MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY!!! It doesn't matter what you do for them, what you buy them or if you love them and give them your soul. NOTHING can make them happy the sooner you learn this the happier you will be!!! Didn't you ever wonder why men that treat women like garbage are worshipped?!?! Because women can't believe that they won't do everything they want and it drives them crazy!!! LOL Be my guest and share the secret about women!!!
2007-12-26 04:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you love your wife???
If you honestly do, you'll do anything to gain her trust back.
If you're not sure, why bother - let it be....
Let her find that someone who will love her and be faithful to her. Maybe you're not the one for her - that is why you cheated.
2007-12-26 03:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by DG 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋