Ex love of my life went back to old ex girlfriend 2 months ago. they are both 59. I am 44 and since accidentally seeing him out he has emailed me and txted me over 80 messages and professes his love for me. he states that his girlfriend..he loves as a person but could never be in love with anyone but me. My son loves him too he is 11. My question is...why won't he make up his mind about us. NOW. Says he doesn't want to hurt his old new girlfriend. I have waited and cried for the last 6 weeks. I am a very strong woman who thought I knew what to do. Am getting tired of waiting on the side lines. Have never been this in love in all my life, but it's killing me. HELP please????how much time should he be given to chose???
2007-12-26 03:24:54 · 13 answers · asked by sharpneedleinahaystack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he went north to be with family and to think. now won't answer me about New Years..maybe I should hit myself in the head with a wakeup bat??
2007-12-26 03:25:46 · update #1
GOD bless you all. My son and I are quite mature and need to move forward. Palm beach gardens florida..thank you so much...We have too much to offer to stand on the side lines. EACH and everyone of you are right. I found the bat and are tapping gently. ...Hvae way too much to offer..just this one was extremely difficult. HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL> ATTRACTIVE AND SLEEPLESS IN FLORIDA
2007-12-26 03:58:46 · update #2
Son has only seen me in 2 relationships in 8 years. Palm beach gardens......DO NOT introduce him to a casual dinner date EVER. I AM A GOOD MOTHER. work and take care of my son. rarely date.
2007-12-26 04:04:45 · update #3
I don't know why my pick is of a man. Am attractive and sleepless in palm beach gardens florida. Can't seem to get involved with anyone so far. Been on dates...haven't got the heart to hurt anyone so I stopped dating.
2007-12-26 04:10:33 · update #4
Thats picute:} Happy New Year all and god bless...suzyq7cars
2007-12-26 04:11:34 · update #5
sleepless in palm beach
2007-12-26 04:16:31 · update #6
TARA J YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. You all are really great. I knew this but needed to read it to finally sink in to this thick skull of mine...thanks
2007-12-26 04:23:49 · update #7
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2007-12-26 05:45:26 · update #8
it really sucks to hear this, I know but look at the big picture. He doesn't want to hurt her but has NO trouble hurting you. There is your answer. (((Hugs)))
2007-12-26 03:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by blah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where do you keep the bat? Because you need it. What the hell are you doing? He is playing you like an old fiddle. Tell him to s*** or get off the pot. You may have been a strong woman but you are not thinking likt that now. LOVE, what is love? Letting someone play you? I think not. You may have feelings for him, but I am hear to tell you that if a man LOVEs a woman he will walk through the bowels of hell and not give a hoot about who he hurts to get to that woman. He does not love you, he loves the idea of screwing around. It is possible in his defense that he has feelings for you, but realizes that since he is ready to retire and you are still young it will not work, and I would have to agree with that. He knows that he is about to hit a hard wall, physically and it is all down hill from here. How will you feel when he pulls off his shirt and his skin is sagging, his manhood doesn't look or work so good? How about if he has to start wearing diapers or needs help being fed? I am not saying these things will happen just that you need to be realistic. These things are not hard for a couple who has grown together and aged together, but you are still young and he is old.
Yoda out
2007-12-26 11:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do Not Wait For Him!!!! Even though he is 59 years old he still hasn't grown up. He's playing games like so many men nowadays He's saying what he knows you need to hear to keep you on the hook. He's pro ably telling the other woman that you are the one that is trying get back with him. HIS TIME IS UP !!!! I know it will be hard to get over him but it is so true time will heal these wounds. As for your 11 year old son he is seeing what you are going through and might be getting the impression that it is okay to treat women this way. Your sadness is greatly affecting your son, so to help yourself and him get through this difficult time try to find a few things that you both can do together (library, museum , bowling, skating,etc) before you know it Mr. String You Along will be a distant memory.
2007-12-26 12:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by tiffiany w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl do you happen to be in Carolinas!?? I have a girlfriend down there who seem to be living your life!
Older man she loves dearly seems to be going back and forth between her and (WHO KNOWS) how many others! She swears it is only one woman. He says that the old ex-girlfriend moved away but but I don't think so! I think he is still living the life with a girlfriend at his disposal when one doesn't act right, he has another to go to. Texts he loves her, then disappears. Always has an excuse for being out of touch. My answer...he's with the (NEW) girlfriend.
Do yourself a favor, be the independent woman and teach your son that this is not how to treat women! Move on and show him that you can be with someone else. Sometimes, loving yourself is the best answer to this question!
And you know...if he doesn't come back to you, then he wasn't meant to be with you anyway! He didn't deserve you.
Good luck and I wish you much love in your life WITHOUT THE CHEATING RASCAL!!!
2007-12-26 11:37:28 · answer #4 · answered by Kokomira 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may not be what you want to hear ... and I know he is hurting you .. but you need to catch-a-snap .... because he will not be any different .. he will always be wish-washy .. and continue to hurt you.
He is playing both of you. He seems to stay with one awhile .. then probably it gets a little old with that one ... so he goes back to the other one .... AND - he keeps BOTH of you on a string.
He won't mind hurting his old girlfriend --- he is just using that as an excuse to tell you.
I know your heart is breaking, and that you are so in love with him .... but you deserve better ... he is not doing you right.
When a person really loves another person - they don't need the time to choose. They know.
If you can possibley break away from him ... time will help you get over him. Yes .. it will probably take a lot of time - but you will be in the process of getting away from someone who will never be completely yours ... and from someone who does not love you the way you deserve to be loved .. and from someone who is playing you. It will be hard, but you can do it.
Surprise him ;;; kick him to the curb. Most of the time - men like him, want what they can't have. If you did this - he would push your buttons to make your love for him flare-up again ... just so he could check to see if it was for real.
You have choices. Your heart will make it hard to keep away from him.
2007-12-26 11:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems that he is keeping you on the sidelines for himslf. A very selfish thing for him to do but you are giving him too much control over the situation. Demand that he make a decision now! today! and if he doesnt then you need to move on. Its not fair to you or your son to sit and wait. Where does your happiness begin? Take care of whats important ... which is not only your happiness but your sons as well.
Good luck !!!!
2007-12-26 11:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you read your own question? It sounds desperate,,,pitiful really. Why do you allow another human being to do this to you? This is not love my friend. It is not the end of the world...in fact,,,u will love again....stay away from this situation. Focus on you at the moment. And how to deal with the pain. Be positive and yes,,,hit yourself over the head with the reality bat!
2007-12-26 11:41:30 · answer #7 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's stringing you along in case things don't work out with her.
Make 2008 your year to take care of yourself and make decisions that are good for you and your son. This guy isn't it.
I'm sorry your son is attached to the man. May I make a suggestion, that you don't introduce your dates to your son until you are sure the guy is going to hang around? My mom never introduced her dates to me and my brother, so when we finally did meet the man she wanted to marry (she had an engagement ring and they had a year long engagement while we kids got to know him), we knew he was someone special. Meanwhile my father introduced us to EVERYONE he dated so we never made the effort to get to know any of the women in his life because we knew they wouldn't be hanging around. This upset him when he couldn't understand why we weren't excited for him when he met the person he wanted to marry.
Good Luck to you and I'm sure you'll meet someone worthy of you and your son!
2007-12-26 11:39:38 · answer #8 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the bat sounds like good idea and it will only hurt for a while. Don't open yourself to this guy for further disappointment.
2007-12-26 11:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by Becky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has some ties to his other GF that he's not wiling to break. Maybe she's got $$$. Regardless, it doesn't seem as if he's willing to break those ties, but, like all men, he's wanting to keep his options open, at the expense of your feelings.
2007-12-26 11:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by DeFreeze 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋