My boyfriend and I have a baby together, and I have twins from a previous marriage, and he has a son also. We are living with his parents, and he absolutely will make no sacrifices so that we can get a place of our own. He will not stop smoking or drinking beer. It costs a lot of money! If he were to make these sacrifices, money would still be tight, but we could make it out on our own. I tool the debit card from him, and he said "the first morning I don't have money you can pack your bags and get out". The card has my name on it. I wouldn't forget to do things for him if he treated me a little better. I never spend any money except for gas and diapers, and maybe a little baby tylenol. I never even have a full tank of gas. He says it's my fault we're in the negative, but this is impossible, because I never spend anything but 50 bucks or so. He says it's because I write checks without telling him and he doesn't know what's in the bank. I can't see how it would matter because I spend so
2007-12-26 03:02:41 · 10 answers · asked by scottishbeauty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
little! He constantly goes over his budget! And I NEVER do! My best friend wants me and the kids to come stay with her until I get my degree, because she knows of the situation I'm in. What can I do? I need some opinions!
2007-12-26 03:04:50 · update #1
FYI, I do have my tubes tied.
2007-12-26 03:59:54 · update #2
Box of Rain, you should not assume that any kids of mine will be strippers and criminals. I am a good woman that made some bad choices. I sense a bit a projection on your part.
2007-12-26 06:28:58 · update #3
Sounds to me like you need to make an important decision. Stay with someone who has no respect for themselves or you and is controlling. If you like where you are at in this relationship, then stay put and deal with it. If you are not happy and you have somewhere to go, then leave. YOU MUST REALIZE that you can b**** til the cows come home, but you will not change his behavior. Only HE can dot hat, and only if he wants to. So, beat your head against a wall or take control of your life and make it the best you can.
Do you respect yourself enough to do it?
Yoda out
2007-12-26 03:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking WHAT you can do? It is so apparent what you MUST do, If YOUR name is on the bank card keep it away from him. Tell him to get his own account and YOU move out. Go to a homeless shelter for the time being if you have to. It is obvious his parents aren't helping you other than putting a roof over your heads, you can find that ANYWHERE. Use YOUR money to take care of yourself and the baby then file for child support. You are thinking more of this deadbeat guy than you are your child. Even his parents aren't thinking of their grandchild!
2007-12-27 03:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time to move on in my opinion. And it sounds like you'll be able to support yourself better then he will be able to.
A person should never have to drag around dead weight financially. Both partners should be putting into the relationship financially and emotionally. It sounds like he's more worried about having his buzz then having a good healthy relationship.
Move on, you can find better. And it will most likely end up better for the children. Give them someone to look up to, lead by example. Otherwise it's going to turn into an endless cycle and that's just a shame...
Good luck, it won't be easy but be strong and fight through it. Get your head above water and I'm sure you'll be fine! Don't let him keep you down. You obviously have good friends if he/she is willing to give you a place to stay, use them for support (it's what they're there for.)
2007-12-26 11:12:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look woman, get a clue.
You cannot control him! So STOP trying.
Take control of your life and make decisions that will affect your life and the lives of your children for the better!
Or at the very least.... get yourself fixed. The world will not need any more strippers or criminals in 18 years.
Good luck.
2007-12-26 11:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has this loser done for you other than provide sperm? He cannot even take care of himself, and you need to consider your children's well-being, even if you don't care about your own. THANK GOD you're not married to him, and I guarantee child support would give you MUCH more than 50$. If your friend is giving you a way to get out, it sounds foolish to stay. This is the 3rd child you have from failed relationships-- stop worrying about how you can depend on a man and take care of the kids and yourself for a while.
2007-12-26 11:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is how did you get mixed up and pregnant by such a banana head like this???? How fast can you get dressed and get the hell out??? Go back with your parents if possible or go out on your own......this guy is a born loser and will probably always be so....get the hell out any way you can and tell him to stay away from you....You need new friends and keep your pants up - not down in the future.
2007-12-26 11:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by bigmikeumpire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your bf is totally refusing to take any responsibility for you and the children. No matter what you say or how it is said to him, he simply will turn a blind eye and deaf ear because he wants to live his live on HIS terms. This is very unfortunate for you and the children, because you are essentially on your own.
It is probably best to take your friend up on his/her offer to stay with them. Then make your bf pay up some child support...he is LEGALLY obligated to provide this to your baby.
2007-12-26 11:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you are with this loser why? You knew that beer and smoking were important to him.....and you are living at his parent's house to boot! He is a selfish man....Makes me sick to see parents spend money they really don't have on smokes and alcohol when clearly the money could be spent on much better things....So he is a manipulative and controlling I would imagine....You need to leave his sorry miserable azz..
2007-12-26 11:09:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your best friend up on his/her offer, move out get your degree and support your kids yourself.....he is not going to change.....
2007-12-26 11:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this...child aside, why are you with him?
2007-12-26 11:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋