Japanese husbands have created a "don't divorce me" club to learn how to better?

Question

communicate with their wives, preventing them from filing for divorce. A law was passed last year, entitling the wife to 50% of the husband's pension (among other things), and divorce rates are reportedly going up. Questions:

1- Would American men join such a club?
2- Are they joining the club to save their marriage or wealth?
3- Why are more women filing for divorce now?
4- Will the foreign wife lovers exclude Japan from the list?

Source: CNN

Offkey: I think you made a good point. They were learning how to say "I love you" in class, and a husband was saying he's only been in class for 2 months so he still has a hard time saying it LOL..

Answer 1

this is probably linked to what japanese doctors are calling "retired husband syndrome." Housewives all over the country who are used to having the house to themseleves for 60 hours a week are now being bombarded witha slew of recently retired husbands (something like a few million japanese men are retiring this year) according to these doctors, the women with this syndrome are actually developing health problems that come from the stress and divorces among the elderly are skyrocketing.

this is a quote from the BBC article about the condition:

Women brought up during the 50s and 60s - the baby-boomer generation - are sometimes seen as a commodity by their husbands, someone to do the housework and look after the children.
Their husbands may be "salarymen" or white collar workers, who leave home in the early hours, and return merely to sleep.

These couples can gradually drift apart, carving out separate lives for themselves.

Then, when the husband approaches 60 - the national retirement age in Japan - the wife gradually realises she is going to be thrust into the permanent company of a man who has grown to be a stranger.

It is at this point that wives in Japan have started becoming ill, showing signs of both depression and physical illness.

The syndrome was discovered by Dr Nobuo Kurokawa (who is male), who, over the past 10 years, has been treating a steady flow of Japanese women of a certain age with the same symptoms, including depression, skin rashes, ulcers, asthma and high blood pressure.

Dr Kurokawa, who has a surgery in Osaka, believes that 60% of older women are affected by RHS and says that if it is ignored, the symptoms will just get worse.

"If the husband doesn't try to understand, the illness becomes incurable," he says.

Answer 2

Every dog I've had has been an education and given me more insight and appreciation for the species. They not only have taught me how to be a better owner but have taught me life lessons; patience, unconditional love, rules/boundaries are essential and not cruel and how to deal with a challenge and then move on. The list goes on and on. Rescuing is a great thing. One of my dogs is a "special needs" case. My local shelter rescued her from a high kill shelter. I honestly believe that had I not adopted her she would have been either put down or lived most of her life in the shelter. I tear up at the thought of it because she is the sweetest little thing. I also decided to give back and help out a group in my area that rescues litters upon litters of puppies from all over the country - mostly the South. So many shelters can't even care for the dogs they already have and when a litter of pups comes in the "out with the old, in with the new" saying goes into effect.

Answer 3

LOL. What a great idea, BTW! Japanese people have always been the most prudent nation of all. Now, to solve a problem they do use the most logical approach possible: they get together and brainstorm. Bravo! Now, American men are prone to emotional outbursts, even though it is quite feminine of them one might say. (We do love you dears anyway, try to remember that). If American husbands ever came to a conclusion to gather for a good cause, they would end up drinking alcoholic beverages, talking about sports and gossiping about their wives. Therefore absolutely nothing will be decided. So, every American husband is basically on his own on his quest to save his marriage. I personally have no idea why Japanese husbands have a need to save their ruined relationships, but I would venture to say that money would have a pretty important place on their very logically organized list of priorities in life, and therefore a good reason to save a relationship (50 per cent of his pension sounds like too high of a price to pay anyhow).

The answer to your question about the reasons for women of the world for leaving their marriages is their independence: we have come a long way from the situation our ancestors had to put up with. They simply could not survive on their own at any stage of their lives. They had to belong to a man to be accepted as a human being in society.

I am having trouble with your last question here. How can we assume that entire nation considers a marriage as a business transaction?

Answer 4

Japan is dealing with overpopulation, like the rest of the world by the way. They are taking the same measures to discourage what leads to pregnant women, marriage and patriarchy, as other modern countries. The men who married way back are caught with their pants down, however with the decades passing is gonna happen the same as in America and especially Europe, that less people will get married.
To answer your question, no I wouldnt join such a club, because that means beeing married to a woman which experiences marriage as beeing all about HER, that I have to make happy HER else she will take me to the cleaners because she can, while she does NOT have to make me happy, because if I want out, I get taken to the cleaners just the same.
I will only marry in a family where marriage is respected and honored and that means to a woman where mommy did NOT take hubby to the cleaners, where she did NOT get a change of heart about till death does us part and p+ssed all over the fact that in the eyes of the church she was still married.
Sure she can still do the same to me, but then good luck convincing the fiance of your daughter why she is better than you and therefore wont divorce you and take you to the cleaners.

Answer 5

Well, in Japan, men tend to work A LOT. Women do as well, but they tend to stop working when they reach 30 to take care of the kids (I'm talking mostly of middle-class people). It's still a very traditional society.

Anyway, I think it's difficult to compare both countries as the cultures are very very different. Men and women have a hard time communicating, maybe because they really don't have time to.

Answer 6

I think anything that can save a marriage worth saving, like learning to communicate better between you, is a good thing.

Answer 7

so much for equality, she gets 50% of his pension and what does he get of hers??, from the first day of marriage he probably lives in fear of her leaving him and taking all his hard earned money with her, for the rest of his life he lives in fear of dissapointing her...pathetic!