My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have two small children. However, my husband and I have not been sexual with each other since the conception of my second child which is almost six years ago. He's never been into me and I finally got tired of it so I stopped having any feelings for him. But, lately, I'm thinking that I need and deserve to be loved and cared for. So, I told him that I want a divorce. But, we have two kids in private school and he said the only way he would agree to it is to take the kids out of their school and put them in a public school. Divorce would be hard enough on them without taking them out of their normal environment. But, if I stay, I will continue to be depressed and this is not good for my kids either. So, what should I do????
2007-12-26 01:56:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, that's a tough one. U have to do what's right for u cuz in the long run it will be better for the kids. U said they're young so would it really make that much of a difference changing schools? Their kids they will make friends anywhere they go. Ur husband has just found a way to try and make u stay, throwing the kids into it. U need to tell him there is no reason to punish them they don't deserve it. Men....gotta love'm, geez!
2007-12-26 02:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you are unable or unwilling to work things out with your husband through marriage counseling, then you have to decide which is more important to you:
1. That your kids go to private school
or
2. That your kids see two people who don't love one another and make each other unhappy because they need to "stay together for the kids"--keeping in mind that the kids will model their marriages after the marriage they grew up watching. (if you wouldn't want your children to live like this, why would you model that behavior for them)
Kids are resilient and can make the adjustment if you don't get all hysterical and make it all about them. When they go back to public school, you will have to be more involved in their education to make sure they are getting the values and info that you believe is important.
2007-12-26 02:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead with the divorce, make sure you file first. Put in the divorce that the children need to stay in their current schools. They need to stay there for their emotional well being. If it is in the court order he will have to honor it. Do not let him call the shots, settle it in court.
2007-12-26 02:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There may be a medical problem, which is preventing normal relations. Ask your husband to visit a doctor with you. If there is no medical problem then seek counseling. Before making your final decision, involve the children. You do not have to give them specifics, but they need to be involved in decisions that affect their lives.
2007-12-26 02:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by Calvin James Hammer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the kids will cope and overcome. life is full of unforseen problems and changes. i wouldnt stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids staying in private school. clearly, he is open to a divorce as well, since his best protest is thier school. end it. your children will be better off with separate but happier parents than depressed, unhappy ones.
2007-12-26 02:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by phoster 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is genuine, most important is to find out the reason as to why he is not interested in sex with you, one reason may be after delivery of second time your vaginal become loose and he may not be finding lnterest during sex. another thing you consult some good gynaecologist, who may suggest remedy as what to do to tighten the vaginal centre. Don't go for divorce for the sake of your growing kids. Talk to your husband and find out solution, it's quite possible. you are taking extreme decision just for the sake of sex.
2007-12-26 02:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by lmdhamone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sell your kids short. They are smarter and more resilient than you give them credit for. If this is going to be the best thing for both you and them in the long run then go ahead and do it. Make sure that you take plenty of time with them and explain to them what is going on. Don't leave them in the dark, and don't lie to them about nothing. You don't have to give them the full story, but don't lie to them. Good luck.
2007-12-26 02:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by No one 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to file for divorce. Don't worry about the kids - they will be happy when you are finally happy. Good luck!
2007-12-26 03:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well. if you have no feeling for him i'd go for a divorve and concentrate on your kids for a while so they feel alright and dont get depressed.
BUT if you want to love him and make it work go to marriage consoling.
also let your kids know in steps. not at one time that is too shocking 4 them.tell them the pros (try to come up with some) and encourage them to ask ?'s and be willing to answer any.
good luck
2007-12-26 02:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a common misunderstanding that both parties have to "agree" on divorce. He doesn't have to agree to it for you to get it.
2007-12-26 02:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋