I am so confused and don't know what to do. i am married now for 10 months but am not entirely happy. i have moments but i miss my ex too much and always think about him. i was with my ex for 3 years, but i had a medical issue and the doctor thought it might be better to have a baby ASAP. well, my ex freaked out about having a baby AND getting married. He said he would marry me, then got scared, and we took a little time apart. i reconnected with an old friend, and 4 months later we got married. he was with me and wiling to get married and have a baby. i thought it was the best thing to do at the time and i couldnt trust the ex to do any and i didnt want to risk not having a baby. I got married but now decided to wait to have the baby bcs.i am confused. he is a great guy and would do anything for me, but my heart is with my ex. i know my ex would marry me if i got divorced, i love him, i know he loves me. i just dont know if I can risk divorce. i am so confused. what should i do?
2007-12-26 01:56:17 · 5 answers · asked by roxana.lopez30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have hpv , actually my ex and i both have it, and i was getting bad cells in my uterus and the doctor was worried that i shouldnt wait too long to have kids before i might have a problem. That is the reason I/doctor thought it was better to have a baby soon.
2007-12-26 01:57:24 · update #1
You made one mistake already. Dont make a second by having a baby. You owe your husband honesty at the very least, so come clean.
2007-12-26 02:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by Islander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrying someone after four months because you didn't want to wait to have a baby sounds like a complete disaster. That you are still in love with your ex proves that this was not a good idea. Of course your ex would be freaked out - he is a guy and you had not discussed the baby issue before. That you went off and married someone else just weeks after you guys took a "time out" to think things over didn't really help, did it.
I think you should get a divorce. It's not fair on your husband to be married to someone who really wants to be with someone else. Doesn't he deserve to be with someone who loves HIM and not just married him because they were scared and wanted to have a baby? And if you are in love with your ex and he is in love with you - then why would you stay married to your husband, the marriage was doomed from the beginning. You should admit this fact now and get out so that both of you can move on and not waste anymore time.
I don't think your doctor realised he was about to create this drama when he said he thought it best you have a baby soon - I am sure he meant well, but a baby is meant to be a creation of love and not a creation of panic. You have now already wasted 13 months that could have been spent on strengthening your relationship with your now ex and discussing and possibly planning a baby...
2007-12-26 02:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you wold like to return to the way things were before, you will be unable to do so. If you divorce your current husband and marry your ex, your lives will be continually influenced by this current marriage.
Your current husband sounds like a nice person. Before you cut him out of your life, you need to share your thoughts and doubts.
Be careful about your expectations, there are no guarantees. Just as you regret your current situation, you may regret your future one.
2007-12-26 02:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Calvin James Hammer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you got married for the wrong reasons, and now it's really up to you to try and correct the mistake, don't have a child with your husband if you aren't planning on being with him. If you aren't in love with your husband, the sooner you tell him the better. Don't let it go on and on, when you know you aren't happy.
2007-12-26 02:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got married for all the wrong reasons. I feel sorry for your husband.
2007-12-26 02:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋