This girl and I were close. We have dinners, lunches, both called in sick at work several times to spend the day together. I try to do nice things, bring her coffee occasionally, lunch, soup if she's sick.
The other day I was bummed, she was out, so I asked if she could bring me coffee on her way back (first time ever). I am 5 minutes from her, I didn't think I was putting her out. She ignored my call (you know one ring, then voicemail), so I left a message saying it would cheer me up if she did. No response, so I sent a text, if she can't then let me know. Nothing.
I was upset and hurt, she definately had her phone on her, so I wrote her an e mail, not an angry one, but an honest one.
She called me the next day, and was angry, her voice was echoing in the background she was yelling so loud. And then she started crying. She said she didn’t have her phone on her (She did when I met up with her 4 hours before) and that she was too tired to text back when she got home.
2007-12-26 01:33:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She said it’s my personality to be giving not hers. That I have time to do these things, she doesn’t. We argue before, but I’ve never made her cry before. Personally, I think she was on the defensive, and crying because she knew she could’ve just picked up the phone or return my text. (She gets very upset when I don’t pick up when she calls, saying if I had voicemail, it would be full of explicits from her).
I said all I wanted wasn’t an apology for not picking up the phone, but “I am sorry you had a bad day” it took her 10 seconds to think about it and finally say it. Finally she said she had to go and will call me later.
I felt bad about the e mail, but I was still hurt, so I sent her a text saying, “It wasn’t your fault it happened, it was just something that happened, I am sorry about the e mail, but I was hurt. Can we move past this?”
I didn’t get a response…and I am not planning on calling or texting her again.
2007-12-26 01:33:36 · update #1
I would make up with her and be friends again, but do you think it’s worth it being her friend again? It just seemed that she didn't care about how I felt, she just went on the defensive and started yelling.
2007-12-26 01:34:33 · update #2
I believe I was right, and I ddn't want to apologize, but we're both Christian, and it was Christmas Eve. Girls crying kills me.
2007-12-26 01:40:27 · update #3
It sounds like she's using you to me. If you're always the giver and she can't ever give to you, then it's probably not worth your time, but you will have to make that decision for yourself. If you do decide to still be friends with her...just keep in mind that she will never be there for you like you are for her. You ended up apologizing to her, and she was the one in the wrong.
2007-12-26 01:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Oh my gosh, YES, it's worth calling her again and getting the friendship back!! You described a great friendship with the lunches and spending sick days together. Why would you want to lose that?
In the scheme of things, this whole little situation is irrelevant. Maybe she was having a bad day, too. And I think her crying is because she felt guilty that she either didn't respond to you or that she hurt you. I know that when I feel bad about something I did, the tears just flow and there's nothing I can do to stop them. She probably knew before you sent that email that you were going to be upset and that gave time for the guilt and frustration to build up so by the time she read your email, well, she was at the top of the limit.
You've now let her know how you feel and that you were hurt. Understand that she might have been hurt, too, in the process. Let this go. The friendship sounds too valuable to lose over this one little incident. Don't give up. Good friends are hard to find.
2007-12-26 09:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by MJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, I have answered this same question before when you asked it the other times.
Just get over it. If she means anything to you, you will overlook it this one time.
If she didn't turn her phone on earlier, and only checked her messages after she got home, then you can't reasonably expect her to go out again just to bring you coffee.
Even if she lives 5 minutes from you.
If you want to be a giving person, then also be giving in your forgiveness.
Otherwise, if this is still bugging you after all this time (I can't remember when the last time I answered you about this), then move on - from the friendship, or from your anger and hurt. Just move on. You must have had 30-40 answers to this by now. I don't know what you are looking for.
Unless you think of her as more than a friend and want more from her. Then I might be able to understand your hurt and anger over her not bringing you coffee. But if she only thinks about you as a friend and nothing more, you have to make allowances and limits to your friendship and just get over it already.
by keeping on about it, you will lose the friendship that you had.
Have a safe and Happy New Year and make a resolution to not mention it again and if you want her friendship, apologize - forgive and forget - live and let live, etc etc.
2007-12-26 09:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by oldbeatlefan53 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that sometimes, when I need some "me time", I simply leave the cellphone at home or in the car or put it on quiet so I can ignore it for a time.
Perhaps that is what she was doing. My wife does the same as I. It is only when I have looked at my calendar and need the reminder of an appointment that I will take the phone with me on those days where I just want to "get away from it all".
It sounds like she needed some time away from the phone ... and that something else happened that day to upset her ... and that your "complaint" just added on the pile of grief.
If I were you, I'd send flowers with an apology.
As far as getting coffee, getting coffee means delivering coffee ...
2007-12-26 09:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Singing Chipmunk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she likes you more than a friend and doesn't know how to tell you. After all, what's worse than losing your BEST FRIEND because you want something more?
Maybe she was just having a rough day. Don't let something this trivial ruin your friendship. Let by gones be by gones!!
take her a coffee and say, " 2008 is just around the corner, let's not let a little tiff ruin a great friendship."
I hope for the best for you. I really do. Losing a friend over something silly is sad.
I walked away from a girl friend because she said, " I won't be your friend anymore, if you marry ( my now hubby)."
I said " So long!" I wasn't going to let someone else determine my future because she wasn't moving on.
Best Wishes! I hope you and your friend have a wonderful 2008!
2007-12-26 13:03:04 · answer #5 · answered by beanhead1972((14HIM)) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, she may be using you bcuz of your giving personality. How hard is it to stop for a little cup of coffee? She is giving you a guilt trip - trying to make you feel bad, (using reverse psychology), bcuz she knew that you were hurt. I would say screw her if she can't be that much of a friend to you, then what's the use? But you have to think about it and decide if it that's what you really want out of a "friend".
2007-12-26 09:43:32 · answer #6 · answered by 2sexy 2cute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had friends like that before. They only use you when they need something or someone to hang out with when they're lonely. But did you ask her if she was having a bad day?
Besides that, if you think it's worth having her friendship, then apologize even if you feel it's not your fault.
2007-12-26 09:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
.i think you should think twice to be closed to her again. she is the type of selfish. you are the one that have to serve her for all the times. If she really takes care of you, even how hard her times, she must contact you and ask for an apologize. Just find a friend that cares each others, with responsibilities and honest. you are just wasting your time to be with her.
2007-12-26 09:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by LadyAnis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she might've been sad about something you know../ no no.. she deff. had something in her mind!
it's un usual for anyone to be acting this way..
even if you think it's not your fault i'd suggest you go back up to her house and demand on seeing her and talking to her..
send her a text msg asking her to please come out so you could talk...
have a quiet conversation...
no yelling and all...
tell her how you feel face to face..
conflicts are never solved through a phone or computer screen my friend....
you can't just sit there waiting for her to call or anything..
be the man
P.S.. i think you reeeally like this girl.. if she's worth it go for it.. /
2007-12-26 09:43:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her ignorance means "she doesn't want to be your friend with her". I know it is difficult to depart from close friends but you have to let her go. She has changed into a new person. A person you don't know anymore.
2007-12-26 10:35:10 · answer #10 · answered by Kyle J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋