my dad is a 63 old,after we lost my mom in a car acciedent two years ago he want to get married now all f this

Question

normal BUT he is planning to get maried to a 20 years old.who is younger of all of his children is this normal,do I have the right to talk to him about the huge gab between the two of them?????

Answer 1

You really don't have a right to choose a relationship for him. What you may want to do is make sure you and your siblings have everything that belonged to mom ensured to go to family.

In other words, have him distribute mom's personal belongings to the children now, before he marries. If he passes on before she does, she will be entitled to everything.

So have him get the things family inherits in order, distribute accordingly and maybe do a prenup, and have a will in place.

Once the question of inheritance is resolved...then leave the man alone. It's entirely up to him and I'd have to think at 63 he's capable of making such a decison for himself with full knowlege of the consequences.

I wish you luck,dear...
Happy Holidays...
and God bless you and yours.

Answer 2

You are a part of this family and have, of course a right to be involved in the future of the ongoing relationships of everyone involved in it.........!

....the concerns you have over the disparity in age are made by issues of upbringing and society and not of heartfelt feelings generated by two humans who may well have an unrestricted love for one another.

Two human beings in love and of legal ages confirmed by social laws have every right of free choice to continue a loving and marital relationship within acceptable society.....

However that being said, greater family issues may warrant a gentle step or two in your case and with your family's interests at heart, for your father to make his choices final.

I assume you are loved very much by him and that he would not want to hurt your feelings but he will have already made up his mind perhaps without you, unfortunately.........passion (or infatuation, resulting from age difference) can cause a sense of 'love is blind' at such a large age gap.....

If your anxiety about this problem is for your father alone then you are on the right track. If you really care for him and you think that his new friend is materially motivated then you should take a proactive roll in his welfare for the future, but no matter what you may do it could go the other way so don't be too dissappointed.

He may will listen attentively to you but not heed your caution albeit good advice.

Try to raise the issue (if you are permitted) with all of your siblings in a private time with your Dad assuring him of your real love for him. Speak openly of your concerns and ask him how does he think it will work out for him and also for all of you in the near and distant future.

He is lonely too,.. remember.

How and where did he meet this younger woman? This is your starting ground,... but be compassionate for him. Your Mother's memory will always be there and it may be very hard for all of you to move into this subject with such a concern.

In closing this comment I do think that his partner is far too young to be involved in the future family plans and should not be involved in any discussions concerning it!

Answer 3

I understand how you feel and I agree with your feelings, she is too young. She is still naive and am wondering what's going on in her head. I'm wondering how her family feels about this. To answer you question, yes this does happen with older men. I am assuming your father was married to your mother for a very long time. There could be several things going on here because of your mother's death. For example, the mourning period should be over with and now he's needing to feel wanted again, he could be lonely, wanting attention. Most older men are attracted to younger women. Makes them feel young again. Some look and don't touch, some touch. With your father being 63, he's too old for this person. Some younger women like older men because they are established, have assets, more mature. Your father is not going to be able to replace your mother by this younger women. It could actually cause problems down the road as he grows older and is not as active. Because of his age he needs to think of his immediate family and the long term effects this could have down the road. I don't even want to talk about them having a child together. I say rally the family together and talk to him.

Answer 4

Okay first off YES you have the right to talk to him HOWEVER you do not have the right to tell him what to do.

You have told us nothing of this lady except her age. What kind of person is she. Has she ever been married? Does she have children? Has he known her very long? Try getting to know her first before you judge. Age is just a number.

It would not matter who your Dad was with...20 or 80 it would bother you.

But most of all IS HE HAPPY? Let your father ENJOY what part of his life he has left. No one will replace your Mother. And yes the thought of your Dad getting his freak on problem grosses you out, but men do not loose their "drive" the way women do. They can "polly voo"(we call it in our family) until the day they die provided no medical problems.

Answer 5

Leave that man a lone. Let him be happy.He is a grown man and if he chooses to marry a younger woman then let him.If she makes him happy then isn't she a good person for him?Age really don't matter now does it?As long as two people are happy then what is the problem? He is old and needs a companion.This is ok.

Answer 6

The fact that your Dad is remarrying after your mum's death must be painful but made confusing by his choice of bride. If all is well with your Dad mentally then you have no right to interfere however if there is property etc at stake then it must be secured if Dad is suffering from depression etc and a power of attorney may be required. However, if all is well and it is just simply the age gap that is bothering you then you need to sit back and respect your Dad's right to happiness. You are going to put your relationship with your Dad at risk by confronting either of them right now.

Answer 7

my mum and dad have been married 40 8 years whilst my mom gave up the ghost. Dad proclaimed that he grow to be no longer approximately to stay single. My brothers and that i've got been in finished help of him doing what he felt grow to be ideal. i grow to be afraid although that whom ever he chosen to be with could then attempt and take the region of my mom. I made it sparkling to him that i does not sense comfortable with any woman who tried "changing" mom. My dad remarried 2 years after my mom gave up the ghost. He married a woman whose husband had exceeded with reference to the comparable time as my mom. humorous component is that the couples were acquaintances for years and that i even remembered my step mothers first husband from whilst i grow to be a boy. i think of its astounding that your dad is attempting to hit upon love returned. communicate with him approximately your concerns and thoughts, yet additionally attempt and be supportive of him, regardless what he chooses to do.

Answer 8

My father did the same thing (and no, it's NOT NORMAL) -- I was 24 and his new wife was only 23. She got pregnant right away and they were divorced after only one year.

I would talk to your dad and suggest to him that he might want to wait a while and feel things out before he gets trapped and enter his golden years stuck with a baby, no money, no house, no car, no life, etc.

Answer 9

do you have the right to talk to him? Yes you do, you are his child but you have only your opinion to talk to him about, you can't tell him what to do. It's still his life he is living. I wonder though? What can a 20 year old and a 63 year old have in common other than money?

Answer 10

Wow, yes you have the right to make sure he's happy, and she truly loves him. After that, although it may make you uncomfortable at times, you really have to give him respect. I'm sorry you lost your mother, that's terrible. It must be hard for you to see someone else by his side.