my wife and i seperated in may, she says she loves me but is not in love with me...we have a little girl together who we both love very much we dont argue or fight at all and the reason we are seperated is she said she wasnt happy but for no reason?? she also has her own place and is moving soon and asked me to help her move and pay bills but doesnt want to be with me at the moment.... whenever she gets upset she says she wants a divorce but never does anything about it, this has happen 4x already this past weekend she asked me to spend the day with her and our daughter and everything was great but when i came down to me coming to her family house for christmas eve she did not feel comfortable with me coming... her family absolutely adores me and i think that makes her upset...i am getting mixed signals from her it seems like she misses me and wants to work it out then all of the sudden i am just some guy off the street. we have been together for 8 years does she still want me?
2007-12-25 17:51:51 · 12 answers · asked by loverboy21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nothing happened before this we had just gotten back from a 2 week vaction before all of this and had our wedding aniversary the week before.... i have and will keep trying to work it out she is just stubborn in her ways...
2007-12-25 18:01:54 · update #1
If I were in your shoes, I would take them off, wear my own and take yours with me !!!
Now jokes apart, I think she is unsure but as a precautionary measure she is putting all the financial obligations on you utilising the age-old female emotional blackmailing weapon, the child.
May be it is time for both of you to reassess yourselves, your expectations of each other (when you started this union and now after living together for some time), and the fact that every person gets fed up with monotony. May be your lives have no more diversity and sparkle left while living day in day out. May be you are emotionaly, physically, financially or psychologically drained. But whatever you do NEVER break communicating with her. NEVER. Talk to her. Ask her. Coax her. Her insecurity may vanish in less time than you would expect. May be she is just looking for reassurance from you.
Let each one of you have his/her own space for some time. Take a break. Consult a counsellor with your wife to find out mutually what is it that is botherigng the relationship.
In this regard the best advice I can offer you is that you buy the book by John Gray. "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". Actually there are a number of books on various aspects in this series. These include:
- "The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex"
- "A Practial Guide For Improving Communication And Getting What You Want In Your Relationship".
- "Mars And Venus Starting Over"
- "Mars And Venus In The Bedroom"
Take a pick. Read it, understand it and then gift it to your wife for doing the same. In this series, John provides a practical and proven way for men and women to communicate better by acknowledging the differences between them. Based on years of counseling couples and research, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between partners. His simple suggestions for reducing conflict, information on interpreting behavior and secrets to successful relationships will enrich your life.
Wish all the best to you and your family. May you live happily ever. Ameen.
2007-12-25 18:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she doesn't want you or she doesn't want to work at making her relationship better. Why would you even want to pay her bills right now.
People don't fall out of love, they slowly kill it. She feels like she can't do it on her own and that's why she constantly wants you to still be around. I know it's hard after 8 years to believe that the woman who once loved you so much could now feel nothing for you. Some people are just cold, man. If she wanted to be with you, she won't be moving out.
2007-12-25 18:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by mmatthews000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course she still loves you, and honey, a part of her always will. You're the father of her child, and you spent a good chunk of your life being her life partner.
Ride this out. She could just be going through a "phase". Sometimes, people are tired of the "comfortable" and want to try out something new, exciting, and risky. Unfortunately, when people get a reality check the people they left are often not waiting for them anymore.
If you want to work it out with her, wait for her to come around. Don't give up, but don't put yourself out there to be hurt. Your number one priority right now should be to love your little girl, who probably doesn't understand what's going on.
Eventually, your wife will come around (one way or another) and you'll get your final answer.
Wishing you well
2007-12-25 18:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flats are somewhat in style right now, but they're so last season. Try something new. Gladiator sandals, wedges, Rainbows, or just some funky retro Nike's.
2016-04-11 00:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but my guess is that she cheated on you. She hasn't got the nerve to admit it to you, and doesn't want to get too close right now because she feels guilty. Get her alone and have a loooooong talk about what has happened to your marriage that you can't work out & be prepared to hear the worst. Good luck.
2007-12-25 18:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by Flusterated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your wife has some psychological problem, which in my own opinion and you could as a clinical psychiatrict if you like on this subject. Your wife could be suffering from bipolar disorder, you could probably look it up in the www.wikipedia.org if you like to view or read some of its high-lights to informed you on what this is all about.
2007-12-25 22:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's bored with your relationship, that is why she says she loves you, but is not in love with you. You say the two of you never fight or argue, there seems to be no passion between the two of you. Light that fire in her heart, or lose her.
2007-12-25 18:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she seems unsure and cant make up her mind....this means that she still loves u but is not sure whether she can be happy or have a future with u....did something happen before this...if u love her reassure her....if u have problems work it out together..being apart makes it worse....
2007-12-25 17:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she wants her cake and eate it o pal she cant have it both ways stop waiting on her ok as long as you do she do you like that knowing she can have you to run back to when she get.s dumped by who ever she.s fooling around with ever think of it that way happens my brother has a wife like her always doing what your.s is doing eally. ? my opion? fact .
2007-12-25 18:27:19 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she wants her cake and eat it oo. its a hard call but only you know her and her ways. if you keep giving her what she wants, shell continue to play it out. maybe you need to" let the heart grow fonder" if ya know what i mean. you also have to think of your child. would you have wanted your parents to go back and forth? you need to keep some stability with your daughter. best of luck to you!!
2007-12-25 18:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by Lynne M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋