In a nut shell...My wife of 10 years had an affair and left me for him last year...I took some time and in the process met a wonderful woman. There is a possibility of starting kinda over in life at 34 and moving 2000 miles to a completely new region..Has anyone done this??? I'm very excited and nervous about this possible new venture in life but I'm willing and wanting to just go for it..Did you start a whole new life after your divorce?...thanks and merry X-mas!!
2007-12-25 16:54:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I was married to my first husband for 10 years & he also started cheating & became abusive the last half of the marriage. He left me for the new woman & at first I was heart broken, but over time became thankful because I never would have had the courage to leave him myself. I didn't date anyone for the first 2 years & then dated a few different people over the next year, which is when I met my second husband. When I met him I was about 31. We dated for a year & were engaged for a year & have been married for 6 years now. We moved to the town he was raised in for a job & now have 2 beautiful children. The town was only 1 1/2 hours away from my home town, so it wasn't too bad. So I have a 19 & 20 year old from the first marriage & a 5 & 7 year old from the second. Some people have asked why the big age gap in the children, but it's no big deal. They all love eachother & are very close. They don't really consider themselves "step brothers & sisters." They just say brother & sister. Hopefully if you do move that far away you will still be able to have a relationship w/ your children (if you have any). Yes, it can definitely be done & you can be happier than ever before. I wish you luck in your decision & much happiness! Merry (late) Christmas to you too!
2007-12-26 06:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you moving for her? Or a job? I strongly caution on that one..I guess I've only gone through half of what you speak of - the cheating breakup part (and I was just engaged, didn't make it to the married part)..with it only being a year - I wonder how long this new relationship has been progressing? If you are going to move and it is just to be with her..I would suggest that you at least have some solid reasons for moving there yourself - whether it's a job..liking the region..other family nearby....something totally separate from her. That way, it gives you your own reason for moving there and if the relationship were to end - you'd have other things going for you there. I'll tell ya though bud, it's been almost a year since my breakup and I sure as heck wouldn't move cross country for someone right now..no matter how fabulous he is. Make sure you've given yourself time to heal. If she's a wonderful woman now, I'm sure she still will be in 6 more months :-) Best wishes.
2007-12-25 17:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too have been in a similar situation although I found out before marrying. We were together almost eight years. Your feelings are legitimate. If the trust is broken in a relationship you just can't get it back. I am sorry he has hurt you so much and that you are feeling so badly. The best thing you can do is pick yourself up and go on with your life and show him what he has lost. I know things can be hard in the beginning but you have friends that can support you and help you in your time of need. Good luck with everything I hope things will change for the better.
2016-05-26 06:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had been divorced some years ago and then went through having my daughter have a freak accident and die. Some years later also in my 30's had met a guy and went to India to marry him and live there for sometime with his family starting my life all over. I've never had so much happiness in my life since. It's difficult at times in some ways...but in general was the smartest thing I've ever done. So I say do it! Without taking risks you never will have the opportunity to discover many joys you can gain by them. :) Merry Christmas to you and I wish you a wonderful new life.
2007-12-25 17:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been married now for 33 years to my second husband.
I was married to my ex for 13 years, we had five children (adopted from birth) and he became very abusive.
My now husband, took on my children and was immediately their father. They are now adults with their own children.
Leaving my abusive husband was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Most times the second marriage is nearly always better and more permanent than the first.
As for moving 2,000 miles. How wonderful, exciting, new, etc. etc. You are lucky, very lucky. At 34 you have many many more years ahead of you. I was 44 when I had my sixth child, first pregnancy and then we had six. So, all I can say to you my dear, is you have a wonderful, exciting life ahead of you, so remain open to everything and everybody.,
Enjoy, give of yourself to others and boy, you have it made.
Congratulations to you both and have a good move.
I have to add a note to one of your answers. I met my 2nd husband two months after I left my husband, and two months after that we were married. If its there, its there. Don't waste time doubting.
2007-12-25 17:04:08 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can and you are lucky to be able to do it at such a young age. YOu can have kids with your new wife also
I would be excited about moving and creating new memories with a new person.
Sure it can be done and if it can't, it is not like they are going to lockdown the town after you leave...you can always return and or move on again. Since you have done it now
you can do it again
the first time is always the hardest
do it
best of luck to ya
(p.s. living well is the best revenge against your exwife...I bet she misses you and knows that the grass is NOT greener on the otherside of the street, get away from her before she tries to suck you back into her life again...I feel sorry for her husband now and so should you)
2007-12-25 17:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by lisa s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i didn't move 2000 miles to a ompletely new region, but yes, i started a new life and it is sooo much better than my old life with that loser. the only thing i keep blaming myself every night is that i hadn't divorced 10 years earlier (had been married for 12 years the first time). now married for 3 years
2007-12-25 16:59:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I did. BEST DAMN THING I EVER DID!!!!
My ex of 7 years was from a foreign country. We did NOT get married to get him a green card, but that's what my mom thought. I DID love him.
But in 7 years, I could count on ONE HAND the number of times we actually went out and had fun - Disneyland twice, dinner maybe twice, and movies ONCE. Then I saw the light, pakced up my things while he was working and got the hell out. He kept me from my family, friends, etc, and constantly belittled me saying I was stupid (after attaining top 20% of law school first year), that I was fat (I weigh ~135 and 5'6" tall), and that all American women were whores and that my country sucked.
Like I said - best thing I ever did was to leave. I met my hubby, now married 14 years, and we've never had a fight.
So, yes, it IS possible. Best of luck to you!!!
xo
ymmf
2007-12-25 16:58:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes I moved away and started new , It's great , some of your friends will think you are nuts but don't listen to them , I feel like I am on a vacation and I've been here 4 years....
2007-12-25 17:04:46 · answer #9 · answered by Confused 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married three times. I was divorced the first time at 35, and moved from VA to CA. New location, new life.
2007-12-25 22:30:44 · answer #10 · answered by Franklin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋