My boyfriend and I broke up recently. He still wanted me around to be his friend but I refused - too painful being around him knowing that I've been demoted from the love of his life to someone he randomly messages when he feels like it.
To stop this from happening, I enforced no contact and I haven't heard from him since, that was over 2 weeks ago. I am so lonely and miserable and desperate and I'm fighting the urge to contact him.
I know that keeping busy will make me feel better, but now the holidays are here and I'm not working I'm going crazy with grief. My family live interstate and my friends are on holidays. Suggestions?
2007-12-25 16:54:01 · 18 answers · asked by Lochie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes I do have a dog and volunteer at the animal shelter
2007-12-25 17:01:33 · update #1
YOU have the power in you!
you have proven that you have some inner strength. Taking that stand was an intelligent thing to do.
Please continue to fight this urge to contact him...if he has moved on, you will feel worse!
Write down all of the mean things that he has said or done to you and refer to that list often.
It will help you to remember that he was just a person with flaws and he was not perfect and certainly not perfect for YOU!
Consider him a teacher....preparing you for the right one
now when you find him you will appreciate him that much more.
Also there is a book called 'how to survive the loss of a love'
it is on amazon
check it out if time permits
2007-12-25 17:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by lisa s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's sad to know such things happens in this magical season, doesn't it? However, your so called bf may have been trying to help you by saying that he still likes your company, but like you said, it's much too painful to know that he doesn't love you anymore, whatmore to stay beside him.
Grow on, keep strong and have faith to what you want to do. He doesn't deserve to be with you anymore as he broke with you. Some people out there are just jerks and don't have feeling about what other will think about their decision.
Dear, keeping yourself busy and fighting the urge is not the best way, instead, try to talk it out to someone you trust, let the past be the past, perhaps you'll fell better then.
Wishing you a good start ahead.
2007-12-25 17:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by SASA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I feel for you - I know what that feeling is like! Someone told me to "sit on your hands if you feel yourself weaking and think you are going to call" Point being, DO ANYTHING you have to do to NOT call him.
Believe and know that the healing process is going on right now - as much pain and distress as you are feeling.
You already know keeping busy helps and physical exercise will help you, too. (changes the blood chemistry so you can sleep & feel better).
It's tough that the Holidays happened at the same time - that does make it more difficult. Try going to the library, Starbucks, anywhere - talk to people - it will help take your mind off your distress!
Sending healing vibes your way. Look to a good 2008! Something special will happen - and very soon!
2007-12-25 17:21:16 · answer #3 · answered by moonmother2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you said keeping busy will help keep your mind off of him.
As harsh as this may seem what may help is getting in the midset that he doesn't want to be with you. He broke up with you and has not contacted you in over 2 weeks. If he wanted to be with you nothing would have stopped him from contacting you and getting back together.
You deserve more then someone who just wants you on their terms. You deserve a mutual relationship where you both care about each other and want to be around each other. Remind yourself of that.
And do not contact him.
The holidays suck for single people ... we all know that. They're almost over, hang in there.
2007-12-25 16:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost but not quite the same. My son and I had a great disagreement about a subject that affects his complete life and his actions hurt others. I did call and leave a message this morning but the call was not returned. It is so tempting to call him again. There is a big lump in my throat and it is hard holding the tears in. However, we must be strong because if we give in, our hearts will only be brOKen more than now. I kept busy by visiting my sick neighbor. Went there about four times today just to check and make sure she was ok. Doing for others is the greatest thing we can do in our situations. God be with you
2007-12-25 17:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Firstly, don't play sad music cause it'll only make you feel worse.
Get rid of all the stuff he gave you, and everything that remind you of him. After the holidays are over, go out (especially for new years). DO NOT sit at home doing nothing. Dress up, spray on some perfume and get out there.
You're not dead yet!
2007-12-25 17:11:25 · answer #6 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expensive option: go out of state for the weekend and just try to chill out in a new environment. preferably choose someplace exciting.
Middle of the line option: go to your local sports' club, dance club (not the boogie kind), whatever you happen to be interested in and sign up for a class. They're cheap if you drop by a community center. It's a great way to meet new people and get your mind off of your problems.
Most inexpensive is obviously to try to get things off your mind at home whether it's through trying out painting, working on puzzles, talking with friends on the phone (depending on your plan) and whatever else you can do besides call him!
Focus on you and reach out to people who care about you.
2007-12-25 17:03:22 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley A 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately me and my bf brokeup today, but quickly got back together, depending on the reason, probably he needed sometime, and so do u, but i think youve had enough, if you still want to be with him, then seriously speak to him about it, try tounderstand though he might not feel anything for u. start by seeing him somewhere, then grab his hand, ask him can u get a hug and then talk. the way hell touch says alot. if he no longer wants anything with you, then i suggest to just leave it alone and move on, how long where u guys together? and to be truthfull if he values wat u gave him he wouldnt ever gave it up for some other girl that messages him, u are better than him and stronger so dont let your feelings fool you, is time to think with your head not ur heart and feelings. good luck!
2007-12-25 17:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by Valeries Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been there, there's honestly no cure for a break-up, the only cure for a break-up is time, and a personal relationship with Jesus that's how I got over my relationship of 4 years, it was painful I cried all night sometimes but I got over it quickly and now I'm fine and blessed in the lord. read Romans 8:28.
2007-12-25 17:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
chocolate, sleep, spa if your that kind of girl....personaly i would love to just call up a friend and eat oreo's and peanutbutter while imagining painfull ways for the ex to die...it may sound crule but u almost always end up laughing! ignore the doctors and go for the comfort food!!!!! everything will be ok...
2007-12-25 17:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋