ashamed to my inner depths of my soul?

Question

I never learned as a wee child, to snap my fingers as the other children did. Oh my how they would run the streets snapping as if the world was their oyster. My shame only grew with every year that past , when others where snapping , I was crying inside, humiliated, afraid to reveal my secret. So after some counseling and soul searching, I am ready to move on. My first step is to ask all of you if someone can refer me to a finger snap tutor. thank you .

Answer 1

I actually teach a correspondence course in the fine art of finger snapping and can boast at least 2 success stories, my own included.....yes, I too, once suffered shame and humiliation for my digital deficit, being forced to secretly simulate the snapping maneuver by a covert clicking of the tongue while simultaneously rubbing the tips of thumb and middlefinger together. My course includes finger strengthening as well as stretching exercises scientifically designed to produce maximum volume while avoiding joint injury or worse....the dreaded snapper rash, the result of too frequent practice along with insufficient recovery time. Eventually you will develop the necessary callus formation on the afore mentioned digits which will assist in producing the much desired decibel level of *SNAP* Don't contact me....I will contact you with all the necessary contracts and medical disclaimers that I'll need signed before you begin on your ultimate and life-changing adventure.
*no animals or plants were harmed in the production of this course of study. individual results may vary. most individuals complete the course in 2-3 years. employment placement not guaranteed nor even attempted by the administrators of this program.*

Answer 2

You need not be ashamed. The ability to digitalize a snap is not so much a question of training as it is of biological makeup. Finger-snappers, like those who can roll their tongues and bite their toenails, are merely other branches of the evolutionary human tree. Some snappers are gifted with ambidextrous snaps--others can manage it with only one hand. If you have concentrated on trying to snap with only one hand, try the other--or with other fingers---you may surprise yourself.
You may want to try learning by osmosis. Sit in front of your tv and play the first scenes of West Side Story over and over, repeating to yourself, "I am cool. I am so cool..."
If you are still unable to snap, you may want to consider relying on other physical abilities to make sharp, attention-getting noises!
You are unique and gifted. Find your joy!

Answer 3

Get a girlfriend. That will either make your fingers snap or make you want to kill yourself.