2007-12-25 16:01:36 · 14 answers · asked by Loosin_my_mind 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would suggest is reading the book "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. It is a book that teaches very effectively how to communicate love to your spouse in a way that he/she understands. Damage can be repaired if you set your mind to it and you want to make things work. Even the effort on one side WILL improve things atleast a little. My husband and are finally on our way to a loving marriage that satifies us both after reading this book. We started our in a miserable marriage which becam physically violent...both partners feeling loved can do wonders...give it a try!
2007-12-25 16:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by GodsGrl4Real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think you can trust your spouse again and get this affair out of your mind, it will eat you alive.
I have not been in this situation but I don't know how I would get past it. You have to earn a trust like you had before, don't ever bring this up again EVER, not in an arguement~~ NEVER~~ it should be as if it NEVER happened, otherwise you cannot get past this. You can't be mad later and say" Well you were unfaithful!" ~~~NO~~~ this cannot ever be talked about again!!!
Everyone makes mistakes but this one is REALLY HUGE! To be unfaithful, sometimes means a lack of something, need attention more, need for contact, need for words, feeling, it could be they were missing something, too much time on his or her hands.
If this is just a general question? Not about you personally, just tell them it is going to be VERY HARD! It takes a very different person to get beyond this, I know I couldn't do it. I could try but I doubt it would work. The person cheated on would need A LOT or reassurance, a lot of time together, fun times, attention, few business trips, more at home watching movies together and communication HAS TO BE OPEN AND GOOD!
2007-12-26 13:19:12 · answer #2 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell them that you want to discuss the situation thoroughly so that both of you understand how serious the damage is from cheating in a marriage. Then you say that everyone deserves just one chance to make amends and be faithful. Give the spouse that chance. Emphasize that it is just one chance. Then if they cheat again, you will at least be sure they understood thoroughly and given the one chance, they blew it. If they cheated again (make sure you discussed exactly what 'cheating' is), tell them you both need to discuss divorce with a marital counselor. And follow through. You'll need the support of the counselor to get through the divorce.
2007-12-26 00:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old saying 'once a person lies the first time - it gets easier 2 do it the next time" And there is the question of trust - do U trust this person. Relationships R based on trust and once that bond is broken it is very hard 2 mend. Unfortunately it is easier 2 forgive than forget. Good Luck.
2007-12-26 00:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by godmamaz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to ask yourself some questions. To begin with, how do you feel about yourself? If you truly love and honor yourself, then you will accept only those who truly honor themselves. If your spouse is "cheating" it doesn't sound like he is honoring himself. Ask him if he feels his conduct does honor to him...and to you? Ask yourself if you want a relationship with someone who does not honor himself? If you honor yourself, you will accept nothing less from your spouse. Discuss this with him. If he genuinely feels he can honor himself and honor you by cheating, something is wrong with him. If, on the other hand, you feel he is an honorable man and you feel that by being with him you bring honor upon yourself, then stay in the relationship. It is really your decision.
2007-12-26 00:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when they swear they will be good
is when they are lying inside
it's a last ditch attempt at manipulation
they lied and manipulated you to the cheat
so they will continue to do so after wards
it says more of you ( really less ) if you stay in the relationship
and think it will work out
it never does
thank Confucius for this saying
foll me once, shame on you
fool me twice , shame on me
truer words were never more well spoken
2007-12-26 00:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love them keep forgiving them because the next one will cheat too!!! LOL You want someone you can trust get a dog. You want to stay in love you never should have gotten married!!! Marriage even destroys soul mates.
2007-12-26 14:26:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a few friends that have cheated and they ALWAYS find a way to do it again. Do not trust a cheater.
2007-12-26 00:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by sarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its been my observation that a person with insufficient character doesn't generally change without a BIG reason. You could wait and watch and see..if he changed...in the meantime, you may want to be preparing your heart, finances, etc...for life without him..You deserve someone you can trust and depend on. It will either get better or it will get worse...time will tell.
2007-12-26 00:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by angieblossom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cheating is the ultimate action of deceit. Don't look back while you walk out the door.
2007-12-26 00:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by Karen 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋