Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2 yrs together. He's 32 and im 23, hes a great guy allot of fun. He loves the outdoors and always takes me with him everywhere, even out with his friends. When people see us together they think we just barely met since were always laughing, touching (not perverted) and kissing. He has his own home, no kids, and never been married. About 4 mths ago I moved in with him and our relationship has gotten even better due to living about 40 minuntes away.
When I told my friends that I will be getting married next year they told me that it would be a big mistake. Said that its going to mess things up and whats the point of getting married anyway. Now im thinking about it and i'm worried. Would it really make a difference just signing a piece of paper saying were husband and wife??
2007-12-25 15:58:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have had people say that 2 me when I was in Ur situation. It seemed like they were the ones that were unhappy cuz they let their marriages become stagnant. I have been married 2 mt husband 4 8 years now and we R more in love as time goes by. Just remember not 2 let life's little problems (like finances) get in between U. If U stick close in hard times and remember the reasons why U fell in love in the first place, Ur love won't die.
2007-12-25 16:18:34 · answer #1 · answered by godmamaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is possible that it fades, just as it's possible that it won't. I wish we could see the future but we can't. Today we can feel one way but who knows in 2 months or 20 years from now. You can't base your actions in "what could be"..... if you feel like he's the right person at the moment being, you should do whatever you think is the right thing. You already moved in together, and I would give it time to see if things continue to be as wonderful in a few more months and if you want to proceed with the wedding.
I personally don't believe in marriage and have seen some great couples become a wreck after getting married (haven't seen the opposite so far but I'm still young - 30), so I personally wouldn't get married...... just move in with my BF and enjoy our love..... you don't need to be married for that or in order to feel you both are "committed" to the relationship. A piece of paper doesn't necessarily make a negative difference, but it doesn't make things better either when they're going bad -- and I had a friend who used to think that signing the "piece of paper" would fix all the problems she had with her fiance. Well, it doesn't. If you guys love each other, you'll be committed and will work on the relationship with or without the paper. You shouldn't rely on this for your (un)happiness. Just hope for the best..... and remember that being "in love" will fade, as someone else said, but that doesn't mean that your LOVE will die too. You have to learn to make it grow by working on it everyday, and you should be fine.
2007-12-26 01:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it wouldn't make any difference to your relationship (well the piece of paper wouldn't) I am not married but been with same guy 16 years. Our love has ebbed and flowed over the years and yours will too. The newness will wear away, but you will find new joy in knowing each other so well. It sounds like the real thing and don't go listening to your friends, get married, it won't change the relationship, only you and your fiance can 'change the relationship' a piece of paper does not have that power.
2007-12-26 00:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by kimbathewhitelion02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is the next naturaly progression of love. You can't expect that things will always be just the same. Marriage is work. Your love probably will fade in and out through life... everyone's does. You just have to know this ahead of time and know that when things get a little rough.. the good is ahead and you have to stay positive and still make the marriage work.
Your friends aren't friends... or they would be happy for you.
2007-12-26 00:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Karen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The being "in love" will fade, but if you both make the effort to learn to love and build a strong marriage from the start, the transition from "in love" to loving with a true and long-lasting marriage can be pretty much seamless. I would suggest is reading the book "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. It is a book that teaches very effectively how to communicate love to your spouse in a way that he/she understands. Damage can be prevented/repaired if you set your mind to it and you want to make things work. My husband and are finally on our way to a loving marriage that satifies us both after reading this book. We started our in a miserable marriage which becam physically violent...both partners feeling loved can do wonders...give it a try! If a marriage can be repaired...how much better will it be if you try this from the start?
2007-12-26 00:18:50 · answer #5 · answered by GodsGrl4Real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to your friends, they're jerks, unless they have a better reason than just being against marriage. You've been together long enough to think about marriage. If your friends had a reason, like he is mean to you, I would understand. Marriage is a wonderful thing. If you have doubts, get some pre-marital counseling to make sure, but this sounds great and you should go for it.
2007-12-26 00:01:51 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
has it ever occurred to you that these "friends" are jealous?
do what you feel is best for YOU. it's your life, not theirs...
love takes on a lot of different phases... and it seems you and your boyfriend really have a good thing going... follow your common sense.
2007-12-26 00:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your life not your friends, and you shouldnt let it change anything, especially since the two of you love each other, you can be married and still have lots of fun with each other
2007-12-26 11:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are 100% confident about the relationship, your friends will be too.
2007-12-26 00:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by luvly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. nothing is forever u sucker.
2007-12-26 00:07:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋