****Concern For A Friend****?

Question

A friend of mine has fallen in love with a woman who is not in love with her husband anymore after 18 years of marriage and they have children.

He told me that it was not his intent to fall for her but they have a lot in common he is 38 and she is 40. She never brings him up in conversations only talk about her kids.

She told him that he never tells her he loves her, buy her things and just come home from work and watch television. I told him that it seems that she is lonely inside and wants out of the marriage but it hard because of the children and it seems like they are more of friends that husband and wife.

She does see him and have feelings for him but I think she does not want to get hurt or caught in doing the wrong thing.

It seems they married young which is not an excuse but it seems time of not giving to each other made the relationship stale.

The marriage I believe will be over soon it depends on who will leave first. I think they are good for each other.

Answer 1

Tell your friend to put his effort into his own marriage. He should persue his wife not that other woman.

Answer 2

And your question is . . . ?

If she has been married for 18 years, she owes it to herself and her marriage to try everything and anything to make her marriage work. All marriages go through rough times when it just seems like the husband and/or wife are just gritting their teeth to make it through. After 18 years, it's easy to fall into lazy patterns that inhibit communication and intimacy, and yes, it needs work to break that habit -- just like changing your eating patterns if you want to be successful on a diet.

When you meet someone else who seems sympathetic and is willing to listen to you, it's easy to convince yourself that this is a person that you'd rather spend your time with. You forget that your husband or your wife was once that person.

22 years is not too terribly young to be married.

Answer 3

He should stay away from romatic involvement with her, and if he really cares about her...he should suggest that she read the Five Love Languages By Gary Chapman...learning how to love and communicate love in a way your spouse understands can save a marriage that is all but gone...it did mine!

Answer 4

what you think and what your friend believes has no bearing on the marriage
if anything they may cause it to fail
the "grass might be greener on the other side" is common is marriages that are strained, and though they might end up divorce and your friend end up marrying her, the cycle will repeat it self and your friend will be the one hurt
this is because the other person lacks value judgment and has perception and a sense of insecurity, they will never feel "fulfilled" so as long as they think they are "trapped" inside of a marriage, and as such, it's usually the domain of a weak women who think such thoughts, as increasingly they are ending marriages on such "whims"
of concern should be your value judgments in your friend
if i had such a friend, they would not be a friend for long

Answer 5

Well it is the oldest story in the book. Your friend should stay away from married women. If she is truly unhappy she needs to take charge of her life and leave him not cheat and mess around. I think that if she does this to her husband she will one day do this to your friend. Help your friend avoid pain and regret. It sounds like a bad deal to me all the way.

Answer 6

the last thing a newly divorced or separated person needs is another relationship... they need time to grieve their losses and readjust to life.. they have nothing to give emotionally, either.

so your friend and this married woman might get along, but they have probably met at the wrong time.

maybe your friend can find someone without so many complications and baggage.

Answer 7

Try living your own life and stay out of your friends personal life or you may not be friends for much longer.

Good luck.

Answer 8

You haven't asked a question.

I suggest you mind your own business.