Is this normal for married couples? Not sleeping together also contributes to why we don't make love. We average about one quickie every 2 months and that is the truth.
We have two boys, ages 4 & 7 and she lets them sleep with her in our bed, which means, I usually sleep in one of the boys beds. She feels I'm getting the best sleep, as I can sleep alone, where she has two kids stretching out in her bed. I've asked her several times, lets's get them out and she continues to make excuses (i.e., not tonight, tomorrow night).
We never meet up in the morning for a cuddle or anything. We never kiss goodnight or good morning.
2007-12-25 15:28:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married for almost 5 years and we have a two year old son. When my son was born, my husband worked third shift and wasn't home during the night. .so, I let my son sleep in the bed with me since my husband was working. Needless to say, my husband got on first shift and our son still sleeps in our bed. . so, I can't criticize your wife for that! However, I still make it a point to have time with my husband after the little one goes to sleep. We will cuddle, talk about our day, and just spend some quality time together. If you could talk to your wife and see if maybe she can meet you in another room after the children go to sleep. . .Quality time with your spouse will create a happier marriage, and will also make your kids happier to see their mom and dad in a better mood the next day. lol. Good luck!!!
2007-12-25 15:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing is to talk with your wife about why the kids are still sleeping with her. Unless you and her work together on getting the boys in their own beds you will be be on the loosing end of the battle. let her know they are past the age where they should be in their own bed and if it makes her feel better knowing they are falling asleep with her close by have her read them a story before bed. This tends to knock most kids out.. Have you tried talking with the boys about sleeping in their own beds?
Second thing is to talk to your wife about how the seperation is putting stress on you because you don't get to hold her the way you would like. leave the lack of sex out for the time being.. All she really needs to know rite now is you miss holding her!
Unless you can break threw to her OR your boys and get them in seperate beds there aint much you can do. I would think since it has lasted this long the mom is more attached to the kids sleeping with her then they are with her.
Best of luck to you
2007-12-25 23:41:40 · answer #2 · answered by candy w 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did the boy's end up in the marital bed in the first place?
They don't belong there, Toots. Never mind that it's called the marital bed for a reason, it's very unhealthly for those boys to be sleeping with their mother....they are way too old. She's encouraging an unhealthy physical attachment and it doesn't matter why at the moment....those two need to be in their own bed so since the wife can't or won't do it then you have to put your foot down. And do it NOW!
Tell the boys it's time they sleep in their big boy beds....that they are not babies and that Daddy wants to sleep in his own bed where he belongs....then insist apon it. Even if you have to climb into the bed and crowd the kids out.....refuse to sleep in the kids' bed(s) from now on. If the wife balks, tell her no, and if she insists on the kids sleeping with her rathr than you, you will insist that the two of you seek a marriage councellor to get to the bottom of this unhealthy attitude of hers, or run the risk of a date in divorce court ...you did not get married to sleep alone, or sleep with your children. Good Luck.
2007-12-25 23:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Chapman. I would guess that there are some underlying part of which may be feeling unloved/unappreciated. The book explains a lot of things and helps you exspress love in a way that your spouse will understand...once you start doing this, her desire to be intimate with you will increase because a womans sex drive is connected to her emotions and feeling both secure and loved by her spouse. Give it a try and see the wonders it works!!!
2007-12-25 23:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by GodsGrl4Real 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell her how you really feel and explain it in detail so she gets the point,and explain to her it is affecting the intimacy level in your marriage.Tell her that you miss being close to her in that special way and that when you want to express that to her you can't because the kids are always there.Hopefully,she will get the picture and move the kids to their own rooms and your sex life will be back on track.
2007-12-25 23:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by demonfirelife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I answered your question about this the Other day--M & M Method!!!! Marriage & Motherhood!!! But the Kids dont need to be in bed with her at those ages--If a kid is sick or has a Nightmare Ok BUT NOT EVERY NIGHT. BETTER GET READY FOR HER I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE SPEECH!!!!.
2007-12-26 01:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by Ed P 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she doesnt want any intimacy at all from you. I would confront her and tell her of your needs. Women usually want to hug and kiss etc. without having sex but if she doesnt give you any type of affection at all she has a serious problem. if she's concerned about you and her marriage she will do something about it. If she refuses then I would divorce her.
2007-12-25 23:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by ManWithThePlan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LAY DOWN THE LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell her NOMORE..She'll fight,they'll fight it but they'll get over it.I wouldnt stay in a marriage like that..couldnt pay me to.
And posting on here every night about isnt helping.youre getting to same advice from MANY people..now its time to get busy with it. Go to bed tonight before they do it you have to or when youre ready for bed....go put them in their beds and tell them to stay..if she dont like it..let her sleep with them.
Dont give up your bed or room for her and the kids.That is so stupid....set it in stone and stick to it!!
Or..leave her rear there and rent a hotel room.Youre headed down divorce hill....its better to nip this now that later...it'll only be worse later on.
2007-12-26 02:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by ...Tammy... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk toyour wife, if your posting this things are really struggling between you.
she needs to see that you NEED that in a marriage in order for the marriag to work.
be open and honest with her and make her see that you ahve needs and wants that need to be fullfilled.
she may not be seeing that part of it.
it is hard to let kids grow up and out of our beds sometimes :)
2007-12-25 23:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by Chads Wife 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
she needs you to help her with the kids, she dont need your help anymore. i was like this with my first husband i couldn't stand him to touch me but it was easier to raise the kids together. he worked 3rd so the weekends i would sleep on the couch. hardly ever would we have sex , if so it was in the shower with my back turned to him. i could not look at him and have sex. but i felt obligated every once in a while.i cant say this is how she feels but it sounds like it.
2007-12-26 08:12:57 · answer #10 · answered by babyblues 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋