I have a online male friend that I talking to everyday. We talk about everything personal. We are both married to other people. I tell my husband all the details of the stuff I talk to my friend about, but my friend doesnt tell his wife. My husband knows that it is just harmless fun, but I am not sure if my friend thinks so. What should I do?
2007-12-25 13:45:32 · 13 answers · asked by lumpy_6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I treat this guy like he is my best girl friend. I dont tell him every little personal detail of my life. My husband know excatly what we talk about. I would not talk to my friend in a way that I would be afaird to let my husband see. I am just concerned that he doesnt tell his wife what we talk about it. He knows that our relationship will never pass friendship.
2007-12-25 14:11:12 · update #1
You don't need to do anything.
The people involved each have a stake in what's happening, plus there is a factor that seems relevant. Let me begin with the people.
You: You didn't say so, but I'm guessing you're fine with having an online friend. I agree, we all need friends. The net enables intimacy because the person is so far away.
Your husband: He seems OK with it. If he were jealous or didn't want you to have a friend, he'd let you know. (See opinion later)
Your friend: Not sure what he's looking for- friendship (like you) or female intimacy, a first step towards romance, or an escape from his wife? Can't tell here. Maybe you can, but haven't said so.
Your friend's wife: Even further out in the cloudy distance is what she thinks. If he's not telling her, what can one infer? She might be hoping he'll run off with someone else, or she might be very hurt that he's got an intimate (albeit online) friend because she wants that with him.
Too many questions and not enough info. Now for the opinion part. I believe we all have the right to make friends outside of the marriage. (Seems your husband is onboard with this opinion, too.) When a spouse begins to limit your activities, the marriage is in trouble. Conversely, you shouldn't do anything that would bother your spouse. Since we all have different spouses with different levels of sensitivity, use the Bill Clinton test: "If you can't tell your spouse about it, it's cheating." From what you say, it's fine. I don't think you should have your husband looking over your shoulder at every keystroke you type. But I think you should avoid getting to a point where you'd feel awkward telling your husband what's going on in chat.
I can't buy Tee Tee's view- sharing deep thoughts is the purpose of a friendship. Should you share similar deep thoughts with your husband? You betcha! But having a friend with whom you share your thoughts isn't bad per se.
2007-12-25 14:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by going_for_baroque 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you are enjoying this little online game. If the online friend is just that you could cut him off at any time. Hopefully you haven't revealed any real personal information to him. After all, what do you really know about him? He could be a total fraud, an ex con, a woman, a psychiatric patient, etc... You never know who you are really talking to online. Be careful. Merry Christmas.
2007-12-25 23:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You husband it wrong. These can be hurtful to your relationship if it get serious & become emotional affair.
ie. when you starts to share your deep thoughts (which should be to your spouse and no other) throught the net (ie. non-physical). Then, it is too far.
Esp if the other guy is not telling his wife - it is cheating to his his wife on his side. You might have hurt him once he is getting serious through the net and you are not.
If you really treat him a friend, do not do it.
2007-12-25 22:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by TT 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would your friend consider it flirting? What exactly is it that you two are doing? If he isnt telling his wife maybe he is behaving in a way that he KNOWS she wouldnt approve of.
If you are telling your husband the WHOLE story and he approves of it then good for you. Just be careful. You both have families.
2007-12-25 21:57:59 · answer #4 · answered by Sexy PR Mom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because your online person is not sure does not mean you are. My wife talks to a few people and they know I am home a lot of times and even ask me things Me and the wife know it is just a turn on for us. i am sure most of them do too. if not they are in denial but as long as she gets turned on and comes to bed. The more fun for us.
2007-12-25 22:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmm....
What should you do?
As long as neither of you is doing anything that you wouldn't do with a family member, then it's innocent. As soon as you cross the line and start doing something that you wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable doing with 'cousin Jim' then that's when you know you've gone too far.
2007-12-25 21:54:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mister 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's only too far if you act on it.
Keep having fun and don't let all the possessive, jealous people take your fun away.
If your husband is ok with it, go for it.
2007-12-25 22:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by charbatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it ever makes you feel uncomfortable or if your friend says something that he wouldn't say in front of your husband, then I would say it has gone too far.
2007-12-25 22:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by barb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you both ended in to a bedroom privately.
2007-12-25 22:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
á¦If you wouldnt do it in front of your spouse or makes them uncomfrotable or if the other persons spouse is unaware then it is wrong. á¦
2007-12-25 21:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋