did i do the right thing to my gf?or should i say Ex-gf?

Question

here's the thing, we've been dating for more that a year already. But the last couple of months, was more than hell. So last week, i have decided to end the whole thing. i gave her a ring as my gift to her and a letter which explained it all.. that i need to be away and all so that i can think, move on and all that stuff. Still, im crazy about her and think about her every day. I love her so much..
Now, just to tell you why i did that break up thing? here's the story and i hope i can make this concise. Just a few months ago, she accepted a job abroad. and she comes home every month and JUST stays here for a WEEK but sometimes it would take her 2months before she can come home and with that week, i can only see her 3 times with just 4-5hours at most. Now, like every other long-distance rel, we ended up having fights and finally, i broke up with her. But then after that, when she comes home, we still kinda do that date thing and all. Like friends with benefits as what others call it.

--cont...
Clearly, we still have feelings for each other. I hate to think though that when she's away, she's seeing someone else and i cant help it. I feel like she's cheating and all. By the way, i forgot to mention, she did cheat on my before with her Ex-boyfriend. like when were still a few months old, they still see each other and do the Friends with "benefits" thing without me knowing that she is out with the guy. She told me that. I didnt know anything until she told me everything as to why she did that. She gave me the reason for comfort since her dad just passed away that time and that she is new with this kind of relationship thing. So she needed him and all and since she's a girl and he's a guy and when they go out and sometimes have drinks and things just happen. -Basically, thats what she told me. She came out clean to me since she couldnt take it anymore because she loves me so much and all and basically, she told me she stopped that ****. So now, back to this

So now, im seeing my Ex-gf without her knowing about it since we're on the friends with benefits stage and im still hoping it could still be us again. her being my gf. but recently, she told me she is seeing someone else already. and that someone is her OTHER Ex-boyfriend(whom she had 5years rel with back in college where she was madly inlove with) This guy is already married and is working on a annulment of his wife.. The guy basically broke up with her because of a long distance relationship. She even told me before that she wants a baby from him. like he wants him to be the father of her child because he's smart, strong. basically, his genes. Now, she is seeing him again.the only diff is that the guy is on the same location as to where she is currently working and her seeing me when she's back home. When she told me that she's going out with him, thats how i ended up with the FINAL break up thing and me giving her a promise ring. now, did i do the right thing? IM STILL LOVE HER...

i forgot to mention. im still 22 and she's 28 already. my ex gf before her still loves me so much. we were together for 3 years. i still love her but the fire is gone now.. the passion and electricity love kind of feeling and excitement is not there anymore.she has always been there for me. i need her in my life. She basically knows everything that has been going on with my current relationship right now. believe me, there was even a time that she wants me to break up with my gf so that we can get back together. i wanted to but i couldnt. its like love her because i need her but this recent girl i have right now? the feeling is like I want her because i love her. Full of excitement and stuff. anyway, should i just move on and get back to my other ex since im already single? basically we already did though but id like to know if its fair because i still think about my recent ex-girl even though when were together and all.

Answer 1

You did what was right for yourself, all relationships are lessons to make you into a stronger person. Yes you do have a love for her inside as she has been a part of your life and has taught you a valuable life lesson on never falling for a person like her too quickly next time. This relationship has taught you this isn't the kind of relationship you want in your life, if you kept it going you would have ended up hating her and yourself for being door matted and weak giving you a pathetic title of being needy and a socially dependent person. Yes there will be tears and questions of why. Honestly the answer is, it was your time to move on with your life. It takes many relationships before you do find the true love of your life, she wasn't it and believe me she too has unknowingly learnt a valuable lesson as well.

Answer 2

Well there are alot of mixed feelings between both of you! You both have feeling for each other and other people. Which can't help you both be in a faithful relationship. Anytime there is doubt there will always be space for the mind to wonder and think odd things. My best advice is to work on discovering what your heart really wants this isn't something your going to figure out right away. But give it a try you never know. I think a prmmise is good only if your heart is in it!
(^_^)- goodluck

Answer 3

I think you did the right thing, but the wrong thing at the same time. You should have let her go. She does not know what she wants in her life. Basically she wants her cake and eat it too. You deserve so much more. The part were you are wrong is that you shouldn't get into another relationship to forget an old one. You need to take time to heal. You need to take time to find you. Take time for yourself. Then options will become clear.

Answer 4

At this point your relationship isn't working. She is too far away too much of the time, and she is not faithful.

I think you have done the right thing, and now it's time to move on and find someone who can give you the kind of attention and relationship that you really need and deserve.

Good luck, I wish you well!

Answer 5

Yes, you did the right thing, in fact I think you were kinder than she deserves. She is not a faithful person, and never will be. Frankly, I would get checked for STDs after being with her.

I know it's terribly painful, but you need to move on and find someone who will give you the faithful devotion that you deserve!

Good luck!

Answer 6

So after all this..I assume your question is were you right to end it..

Yes. While you are pining away for a few hours with her every two months, there is probably a wonderful girl out there you are missing. Also, I'll put money on the fact that your now "exgf" will have someone else "abroad" very soon..if she doesn't already.

Answer 7

Long distance relationships like this can work if you are both on the same page - and obviously you are not.

I doubt she is doing anything wrong - it just isn't working for you. So move on and forget the friends with benefits.

Answer 8

i hope you realize just how confusing you are. i had to read that twice, and i'm still lost.

if i were you i'd just stop. stop it. stop all this weirdness with different girls (im unsure if u are talking about one or two xgirlfriends) especially girls that are wanting the d*ck. that is not safe for you, and totally fn gross. try being with someone who can just let past lovers go, or try doing that yourself.

Answer 9

long distant relationships are hard ... i think your doing the right think at this point in time... maybe in the futeure things will change

Answer 10

i think you should stay with the girl who makes u happy..