Did your new spouse take your child/children in as their own or do they let the ex act as the parent only?
2007-12-25 13:02:01 · 14 answers · asked by Ari's Mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a son from a previous relationship..and 2 kids with my current husband..my husband has always treated my 1st son as his own..he's never changed this even after having 2 other kids with me..he does respect my ex...and that he also wants to be a parent..my ex has the same respect for my husband...and understands that my husband is here full-time..all people involved need to have an understanding..and be willing to communicate with each other..it's important to remember what is best for the kids..and try to tolerate the ex etc...for the sake of the child or children..it's not always easy..but it does save tons of headaches...and the kids are not put in the middle...hope this helps
2007-12-25 15:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by ~Jenny~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My past husband which now we are divorced was very controlling and very hard with my daughter. He put a fear into her that took a long time to get over. I really feel when you remarry that you work together on it. Always remember your child has a mother and father. If one parent in not involved then that is a different story. It all depends on the parent. It is very hard for a child to get use to the step parent. My first marriage he had 4 girls ages 11-16. I took them as my own and it was the hardest thing and I was not able to discipline them at all. They walked all over me and their father didn't do a thing about it. I believe in "TEAM" work and when I get remarried one last time one day I will make sure he will treat my daughter right and that goes with my daughter. I believe in having family meetings where you can say whatever you have on your mind especially if there is a problem. I believe in communication.
2007-12-25 13:14:28 · answer #2 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can say that I am dating a guy who has two kids and I care for them as if they were my own. When I say that, I mean that I understand I am not a parent, but would definitely put myself in harms way to protect them. I have more of a friendship with them and even though I am not married to their father, I feel a certain responsibility to care for them. It is something you have to be ready to take on and fully understand that their well being is very important. I would never have the final say in important things, but think that my opinion should be at least considered. If you are going to love them and care for them 100%, it should be taken into consideration how you feel about stuff. That's all....you can never replace a parent, but hopefully add some joy and friendship to their lives.
2007-12-25 13:16:54 · answer #3 · answered by 2008girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remarried and we both have our own children. Our rule of thumb is that we already have enough problems so each is responsible for disciplining their own. Keeps the resentment and arguing down. In all other aspects, we try to fill what the kids are lacking with the other part-time parent. Hope this helps.
2007-12-25 13:10:43 · answer #4 · answered by trixxi_fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can only be friends... Not the parent. Unless, their other parent is no longer in the picture. Then it really becomes up to the children on how they love & feel for the new step parent. The bonding comes from how the children look to this new person in their lives...
2007-12-25 13:12:19 · answer #5 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I grew up as a step-child with my father and step-mother. My father let my step-mother have total control of me because he worked and she was a stay-at-home-mom and she abused me. I was a single parent and now I'm married and my husband has not tried to be her father but a friend. They fight a lot but I know that he really cares for her. I would just say that having a united family can be very difficult and you have to watch who you bring around your kids. Good luck.
2007-12-25 13:11:17 · answer #6 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know at first they put on as if they are really caring people..With my experience my ex husband treated my children like his puppets... It took me along time to figure it out... Now... no way will I let anyone ever be my two little boys step father, I love them way too much to torture them... I love them and so what if I don't have any life, they didn't ask to be here... Love your children, cause really noone will love them the way you do...Believe me....
2007-12-25 13:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I moved in with my wife and I tried to teach the kids like they should right from wrong but did not try to push thier dad out of the picture even though it was a few years before he ever was found to see them. They are grown and still mine and still have problems but that is family.
2007-12-25 13:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband took my daughter as his own and we've been married for years.
2007-12-25 13:45:49 · answer #9 · answered by sddq_nn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sweetgir has spoken the truth
may God bless you&your children!!
many men ''act'' the part,but are very insincere
always know that your children rely solely on you for love &protection!
good luck!!
2007-12-25 13:14:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋