The Lost Promise
You made a promise to me alone,
that you never did once keep.
I trusted you, I swear i did,
but you tore my heart in two.
And now as anger swells in my heart,
you try to strike again.
But you have no chance,
you big baffoon, to hurt me once again.
I've tried so hard, to protect your name,
but now i see its dumb.
To try to understand your faults,
is like jumping off a cliff.
There's no reverse, and it has its effects,
on those who morn its loss.
But never again, will you knock on my door,
and think to be welcomed in.
You invitation withdrawn,
its been to long extended, to such an ungrateful subject.
And now I will make a promise to you,
one i know i'll keep.
I will never trust you again,
with my heart, my soul, or mind.
So keep away from my reality,
and try to find your own.
...Merry Christmas everyone!! comments are more than welcome!! btw: this was written a while ago for my mother who is the worst!
2007-12-25 12:49:43 · 6 answers · asked by dragonflyy 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
thank you Peachie for your lovely comment.
2007-12-25 13:24:14 · update #1
AHH this ROCKS!!!! its awesome ill say it just for u best buddy ITS BETTER THAN QUEEN !!!!! :-)
2007-12-26 08:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, merry Christmas and a Humbug to Lex80 who is clearly a literary genius and a happy one as well. Honestly, I wouldn't take Lex80 seriously, you may have set yourself up for a Lex Luther like comment when you said, try not to be too negative. It's like crying for some unhappy person to come and blast you. Yes, maybe not a good idea to meander around the ghetto wearing a shirts that says Please Don't Shoot ME! I thought the poem has a bit of an eastern oriental feel to it. Some of your stanza's are awkward, for example "like thus he had never sung." Maybe try revising that a bit. Not bad, but could be better with revision.
2016-05-26 05:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm...i don't mean to be rude but am missing the essence of it being a poem except for the sentence spacing. :( but, well..it has some thought. pretty nice so far.
2007-12-25 13:01:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You invitation withdrawn
i like that but the whole poem was nice kudos
2007-12-25 14:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by supa-star-lips 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dang girl you really can write some really great poetry no
bull$hit .I loved it and it's like you have wrote my same feeling for people i have known..Keep writing always ' as your poetry is the wonderful.,.,.,Here's a star.
2007-12-25 13:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
And again you have impressed me with your work, thanks for sharing.
2007-12-25 21:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by Dondi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋