i have a lover, we are both married and not too happy, we email and text regularly as well as meet fairly regularly. he is very insecure due to a very sad background where he ended uo in foster care after his mum died, he is now 51. but if i don't get chance to text for a while, he constantly thinks i don't want him anymore, he is so scared of losing me, and wants me to live with him, but he is so hung up on me, it's a little stifling. i'm in love with him, but i'm a bit of a free spirit, and i feel he may be a bit obsessed, what are your thoughts please
2007-12-25 12:45:20 · 15 answers · asked by chakra girl 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what i meant was, we are married to different partners, we are having an affair
2007-12-25 13:08:25 · update #1
You Know Rach, Your so cool,
Forget your lover fall in love with another lover and flaunt your sexuality, cool women like you have no right belonging to one man.
OK two men then
2007-12-27 06:43:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are both having an affair.....this is a symptom of things not right within the marital relationship. Why are you both having such difficulties?? Should you not be trying to get to the root of that before thinking sharing a bed together will solve everything else which it clearly is not doing for either of you. You both thought the grass on the other side to be greener and the cracks are there in the affair. Surely it woulod be far more honest to yourself never mind any who share your life if you examined what was really going on inside of you.
2007-12-26 03:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His obsessiveness (which in most cases eventually turns to abuse as well) is probably why his wife no longer wants him.
You are married - learn to love your husband, and get rid of the lover - OR be honest with the husband and leave him to find someone who can appreciate and love him the way he deserves - and THEN be free to love your toy. You are playing a dangerous game that is going to burn everyone involved.
2007-12-25 21:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by sylvery_fae 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First thing is stop the affair, just for having it.
Secondly, this man is possessive, obsessive and has fed you a "feel sorry for me" line at his age PLEASE
If you aren't happy in your marriage get a separation and a divorce first thing.
Secondly, you better get rid of this guy before he ends up telling your husband for you.
He is NO GOOD and would cheat on you down the road from his "Insecurities".
2007-12-25 21:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
free spirit or not, no one can live like that. if he's stifling you now, imagine what it would be like if you lived together! i try not to be judgemental, but why are you in a relationship with him? you might have fallen in lust, but the affair seems to be as problematic now as your marriage. surely it's time to end the affair & concentrate on your marriage; to see if it can be repaired, or needs to end. you're not doing anyone any favours by clinging on to either relationship. a lot of us have sad, insecure backgrounds, but they're no excuse to be clingy & needy. he needs to sort himself out & learn to stand on his own 2 feet. what about his wife & your husband? do either of them deserve to be treated like this? you wanted our thoughts? well, mine are that you're both rather selfish! you're being clingy as well; you're hanging on to a relationship you know is a disaster (probably 2 disastrous relationships), so maybe it's time you learnt to stand on your own 2 feet as well! why worry about someone else's problems before you've sorted out your own? diane.
2007-12-26 04:01:41 · answer #5 · answered by diquarry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like you two are using each other as comfort for your unhappy marriages. I dont think it is anything to do with his childhood, it is because he knows you are with your husband and could decide to stay with him permanently. you two need to sort out what you want. Life is too short if you are unhappy you need to leave. but remember the grass is not always greener on the other side.
2007-12-25 20:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by cottontail 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both crazy trying to be cool at that age texting each other!!! You should both be playing shuffleboard!!!
2007-12-25 20:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know to show some of this obcession to his wife and she may deal with it better. You need a little space that you love him but will not be controlled by him.
2007-12-25 20:54:39 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
arnt married couples meant to eb living togetehr anyway, sharing the same bed and having sex.
2007-12-25 20:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by allgiggles1984 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definately obsessive and boring!
Good grief if this is an affair???affais are supposed to be fun!!! at this rate you may as well stay with your hubby!!!
Go find another!!!....hubby as well why stay with someone just for the sake of it!!
2007-12-25 20:52:42 · answer #10 · answered by leopardshaz 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋