I'm divorced from an abusive ex husband. I met 2 guys after my divorce and did not want to pursue a relationship with them. Then I met guy #3 and the first time I saw him, the very first thought I had was "Someday I am going to marry you." Where did that thought come from?? He's proving to be nothing like my ex, he's just wonderful and a part of me wants to run from this. I feel afraid at times. What am I afraid of? And that feeling of marrying him someday is so strong. That feeling will go away, right?
2007-12-25 12:07:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's all very normal, glad you had the sence to not jump at the first offers. And it's also very normal to feel like running, when all's going good, it's just a recollection of how you once felt about the ex. You needn't worry cause there's no rush, take as long as you need to be sure, longer if you feel it neccessary. And that feeling could be instinct tellin you he is mr. right but don't sweat it, go with the flow, times on your side, so are all the decisions, you'll know a whole lot better the second time around, your instincts will be sharper too.
2007-12-25 12:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by ferochira 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon...
Well, it's nice you met someone you feel good about... you are probably skiddish because of what you went through in your marriage/divorce. I can't blame you... you may have put up "walls" too....
There is really no rush to get married, and you can take your time with the relationship. Maybe try to relax about it more... take one step at the time, one day at the time with this guy. Spend time getting to know him.
No one says you have to marry him, move in with him or give him all your time.
See what develops.
And, if you continue to have fearful feelings that you feel are interfering with the relationship, you can opt to talk with someone about this -- therapist? Minister? Sometimes our pasts do haunt the present... and i would think you were abnormal if you just trusted everyone, all of the time.
Take care of you and i wish you all the best.
2007-12-25 20:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you both say "I do" your loving relationship is over. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is!!! You could be soul mates it will be destroyed. Some people realize it in weeks others lie to themselves for years!!! Are you happy? Are you in love?!?! Then why the F do you have to change it!!?!? Why do you need that piece of paper?!?! Leave it alone and stay happy. Why don't you stop thinking about the future and enjoy what you have. Nothing is written in stone not even your next second. You have been warned!!!
2007-12-25 21:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's normal. You weren't ready the 1st two. You can't tell when love will find you and it usually comes when you don't expect it. My 1st husband was abusive also and it took me a while to trust anyone, but you have to figure out who you are before you can figure out what is right for you. I am now married to a great guy who treats me good. Take your time with him and good luck.
2007-12-25 20:14:10 · answer #4 · answered by love my life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say what kind of abuse you suffered from so it's hard to answer this. It sounds like you are suffering though, maybe you need to seek counseling. If your new guy is nothing like your ex, what do you have to be afraid of??? This guy might bring you much happiness. Try and get over your fear.
2007-12-25 20:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by sandy t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That feeling will only go away if you take the time to heal.
Have you learned from your past mistakes? Are you still able to convince yourself to not see the truth? Do you love yourself?
When you can answer yes to these questions, you will discover that you are no longer a slave to your fears.
Good luck. Have faith in yourself and remember, your courage does not always have to soar.
2007-12-25 20:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The possibility exists that you are in love with your second ex husband. Take it slow. Us guys are usually not nearly as charming after you've hung around us or a year or two. Take it slow.
2007-12-25 20:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are afraid you will fall in love with this guy, and he will turn out to be like your ex. It sounds like maybe you have found Mr. Right. Good Luck!!! ; )
2007-12-25 20:16:33 · answer #8 · answered by PuttPutt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're feeling that way cuz you dont want to go thru it again so just put your trust in him and make him prove that he wont turn out like your ex.
2007-12-25 20:13:56 · answer #9 · answered by God Bless America!~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just remember, the next man will be some what like your old one, be careful not to fall into that trap again.
2007-12-25 20:20:47 · answer #10 · answered by vintagemale1951 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋