Why do some men hate working under women?

Question

I told my coworker that I was going to apply for a team leader position in our department, and after I told him that he started acting weird towards me and then he applied for the same position himself! He never expressed interest in it until I told him I was going for it.

I got the job and now we're basically not even friends anymore. Whenever I give him a job to do or question his work, he gets upset. He just seems to hate the fact I'm in a higher position now. (It's kind of amusing.)

Soooo why can't some guys handle a woman being above them?

Answer 1

I will fully admit that I am one of those men. Only because I've been the whipping boy while I had a pregnant supervisor. I got tired of her insults, tantrums, and her belittling and I reported her to my boss who did nothing because of the excuse, "She's pregnant". Pregnancy or periods for that matter does not mean professionalism goes out the window. Because of that, although I try to keep an open mind, I am still prejudiced when working for women. I know it isn't right but at least I am getting better about it. I can recognize my prejudices and try to work through them when working for a woman (especially since the owner of my current company is a woman).

Edit: I know I am going to get thumbs down for this answer but at least I am being honest about my experience and I know not every woman is like that, it still doesn't make me feel better about working for a woman.

BTW: For some of us it is not insecurity, it is EXPERIENCE.

Answer 2

There is nothing amusing about inter-personal friction within the work place. Over the years a good many men have been passed over for promotion, in the name of 'political correctness', 'positive female bias', or my personal favorite; 'work place gender non-stratification and equity realignment''. Many companies now only offer promotions to female members of their staff so as to appear more in tune with modern labor relations thinking. Some people (read the word 'men') cannot handle the idea of someone else being in a position of authority/dominion over them. Especially if that position could just as easily have been theirs in the first place.
I am a Male Nurse. Do you think that I have never worked under a female superior? Or that I was promoted just for the 'heck of it'?
I presume that you have the maturity and perquisite leadership skills to handle this "amusing" situation? If you cant' than perhaps he will be proved to be right.

Answer 3

Its nothing to be pissed over. Right away if a woman gets a higher than a man, he gets all pissy about it. If the woman was higher qualified THEN SHE SHOULD GET THE JOB and vice versa. Thats the way it should go. Whoever is higher qualified should get the job, be it a man or a woman.

Some men feel that a woman doesn't have the knowledge and skill to have a higher position than him. Some men also feel that a woman just doesn't flat out deserve a higher position because he's higher on the food chain (a friend of mine has a male coworker who believes this), which obviously isn't true. It shouldn't matter what sex the person is who's running for the position, what should matter is how well the person meets the quailifications.

Answer 4

Men are taught from an early age that they should try hard and do well in everything. When they fight, they often have to win.

When a woman beats them far and square, the can only see the strength of their muscles and compare them with yours. They all too often see women as week & inferior.

In this particular instance, you applied for a vacancy that he then thought he could do better. Unfortunately you got the job. He's now not cooperating because he isn't strong enough to know when to congratulate you.

Team leader/Supervisory work is not the same as doing the job. It requires different skills. He may not have those particular skills or just isn't as good as yourself.

BTW: Well done on the promotion.

Answer 5

Hopefully it isn't because you are a woman.

I have actually been in a situation very similar to yours, and no - the guys didn't like me telling them what to do. But neither did some of the women, who felt I was too young to be their boss.

But I was once their peer and now all of a sudden their superior? It's a tough transition for those you've worked with for a while.

He might the hate the fact if you are smug about - my suggestion is to respect him so he can respect you. Otherwise your environment is going to suck because you guys are hostile towards each other. Form a truce - you never know when you'll need his help with something.

Answer 6

I am only out of college for four years, young blonde and only wear skirts to work. I also run the daily operating functions of the family's accounting firm that brings in tons of money. Of my 15 employees, ten are men, all older then me by ten to twenty years. Every one of them was shown the door when a problem would arise, and my employees work with me, not necessarily for me. I do everything that I ask them to do, so we are all on an even playing field. It is just something that guys have issue with sometimes, and it helps when you have a good relationship with employees.

Answer 7

You're assuming that he has an issue because you're a woman. Maybe there are some other issues there, like, he's annoyed that he didn't get the position or he feels strange that you two were once on the same level, but now you're higher than he is. It may not even be an issue with your gender.

Answer 8

well you've said openly you take amusement at his discomfort - sounds to me like you're enjoying a position of power over him and he is not enjoying being in that position ... especially as you're taking such 'amusement' in his displeasure.

I personally have worked for many female bosses and only one of them really upset me (tried to split my then g/f up who was pregnant with our first child).
Another one I thought was a bit sexist though (of course, I was told it couldn't possibly be sexism as women aren't like that) who took me on but let me go because she didn't like sharing the toilet with a man. Perhaps she should of considered that prior to accepting my application for work :o)

Answer 9

How do you know he applied for the job because you were applying? Maybe just like you, he wanted to be promoted also. How do you know he wouldn't have reacted the same way if another man got the job?

I think we (women) have the tendency to interpret basic information in personal terms. Your coworkers are not your friends or family. You don't pick them. The people you meet in business can be nice acquaintances, people you can have a working relationship with, but the key word is "working." Personalizing moods, actions and reactions only cause trouble and put you behind. Personal feelings don't matter. You can be liked or disliked, you can like or dislike back. But you're only there for one reason only: to get the work done.

I know it's challenging to work with men under you, but you have to follow the formula just like they do, and not get caught up with their reactions. Most men aren't at work to make friends, they're there to win. Stay focused on your goal, be professional, don't personalize, don't bring emotions into it, and this will force those under you to act the same way.

EDIT:

Some may consider you inferior, others may just feel uncomfortable or not be used to working under a woman---it really doesn't matter what the reason is, it's their problem. As the leader, you're running the show, their emotions aren't.

EDIT:
Why would you be amused at a bad working relationship? Sounds like you're putting personal before productivity.

Answer 10

The vast majority of women are not qualified for leadership. It is only because of illegal and immoral "affirmative action" that a woman gets a leadership job in the first place.

Where is the "affirmative action" legislation that insists women must be included in The Draft?

Answer 11

The problem is you guys became friends, or so-called friends. But as soon as you rose in the rankings, he became jealous, and is acting very immaturely. Just treat him like an employee, and forget any kind of friendship that may have been, because now you see the big picture clearly I hope.