Is this normal. Should guys have to do all of the work or should She participate to make it more intresting. What should i do about it?
2007-12-25 11:39:48 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep trying to put her in a position to do the work, and she will say, what are you doing or she will do it. I would check the foreplay, make sure there is enough. Good luck.
2007-12-25 11:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, you dealing with a dead fish, huh? No offense, but that's the term for a lazy woman in bed. Making love is a 2-way street, or at least both SHOULD participate equally.
You should talk to her during the time you're NOT having sex about this problem. She will probably wonder what you want her to do. Already have it in your mind what you like. Foreplay is a good start (sexual massage, oral sex, 69) and then tell her you'd like to experiment with different positions like her on top, doggystyle, sitting...you could even suggest watching an adult video together, though I highly recommend softcore like Emmanuel or Red Shoe Diaries. I hope this is helpful and your wife isn't too prude about a change.
2007-12-25 11:46:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't play games with her. Talk to her and ask her if you can do something different or let her be in charge of the sex. Women sometimes need to be in charge and not always do what the man wants to do.
Try foreplay but don't have sex. She will wonder why that is all your are doing and start thinking about what you are doing and maybe she will want to do more.
If that doesn't work, just back off for awhile and wait and see what happens.
trust me, she will come around if you don't make the first move all the time.
2007-12-25 11:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by Fire Systems Chick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk with her. Don't accuse or say things like "you always" or "you never" -- them's fighting words (and sex rarely happens under these conditions).
Next time, maybe ask her to do something in particular, such as "I like it when you ..." or "Stroke me here" -- and be sure to give good feedback when she does! Say how good it feels, or just a heartfelt moan or two. Or, try a position where she pretty much has to do something, too, such as her on top (though personally I get a bit embarassed with that one, feel very exposed and self-conscious...) If neither of you are comfortable talking during the act (I'm not, though I don't mind at all listening to my partner) then you can guide her hands or body to help get your suggestions across.
Ask her what she likes and wants, too -- it's possible that you're missing what she wants, and she's not enjoying it as much as she could; and that's why she's not participating much (doing it for you, but not into it since it's not doing much for her).
Communication is always a good thing!
2007-12-25 11:46:47 · answer #4 · answered by Katie W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I sure hope you get a good answer to this. I’m in this spot now and have been here with other women.
I think the reason it happens is because a lot of women get conditioned early into thinking that if they enjoy sex too much, are too active, vocal, etc . . .they are sluts.
Getting them to break the conditioning is difficult.
The upside is that they tend to be so submissive that you can literally have your way with them.
2007-12-25 11:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin Y 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to guide her and tell her to get into different positions some of the time. find positions that are less work for you. Stand at the side of the bed or lay behind her in the spoon position. put a pillow under her back and you won't have to lunge as hard downward with your back.
2007-12-25 11:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get her really really fired up and do some dirty talking about how much you want her on top, and back it up with naughty encouragements.....then go on and on about how great it was. Eventually she'll either get the hint or flat out ask...be sure to be positive, not critical....stress how much her being aggressive turns you on, and that you'd really love it if she would lose her inhibitions and really go for her own pleasure with you.
Good luck!
2007-12-25 11:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by lmspencr 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her. Maybe she isn't properly turned on with enough foreplay. Maybe she's just not that experienced, meaning, has she hasn't been with a lot of other men. Before you go the route of a sex therapist, just talk to her, get some books...EDUCATIONAL BOOKS...not dirty books and see what she's willing to do. Who knows? Maybe you'll uncover a whole vein of randiness within her. (No pun intended.)
2007-12-25 11:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by DeFreeze 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She may not know that you feel that way. If she is someone who does not like you telling her or talking to her while you have sex , then you need to actually move her and see if she starts to move on her own.
Some positions are harder for the lady to move than others. So you may want to take note of that too.
Maybe you need to gently say something to her.
2007-12-25 11:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by sammy3256 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes it's normal (some how)
Maybe you can tell her that you might want her to do a little more participating or something =D
Cookies anyone?
2007-12-25 11:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by Lawlz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋