I am 23 and my fiance is 28. He is a wonderful man and is so good to me. He has a 7 year old daughter. He loves her very much and so do I. Before I met him, 1 1/2 years ago there was this woman and they had a short good time together and now she's told him that she's had his daughter. So, now he has two girls from two different mothers.
He is a great man and hates the fact that he has a daughter like this out of wedlock. I tell him that I love him very much but it's hard for me to think how we are going to tell other people about his two daughter from two different mothers especially my parents.
He tells me that I should stop worrying about what others think. That what matters is us and I shouldn't worry about saying it and hiding the facts is just wrong.
Would you feel embarassed by letting friends and family know about your spouses two kids from two different mothers or not? Any advice will be appreciated, thank you~
SEASONS GREETINGS~
2007-12-25 10:25:27 · 20 answers · asked by HotJewels 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Number 1 - it's no one else's business ... PERIOD!
Number 2 - Who cares what others think? Do you have any idea how many females out there run around and have 5 kids with 5 different daddies??
In all honesty, if you and your man love each other, you'll find a way to deal with it with tact and be in control of your emotions. There's no reason to hide it - but that doesn't mean you need to go around telling everyone either. If the subject comes up, deal with it honestly and comfortably. That lets the "questioner" know you are comfortable with it and it doesn't bother you. If they get too nosy, simply tell them it's none of their business because it's not their life, nor does it affect their life.
Best Wishes - and never stop loving those little girls, none of this was their fault, or anyone else's for that matter. Life happens.
2007-12-25 10:44:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he is a good man, sounds like it, and you love each other then who cares? As long as he is willing to accept both girls and be an involved father then go for it. You don't need to say anything more than that he has daughters from a previous relationship. Your parents should be more concerned that he is treating you and his daughters well (and your future kids) and not worry that he may have made a mistake in the past. We've all made mistakes, it's how you live your life now that matters.
2007-12-25 10:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by Q-mama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No for we all go through changes in our life and sometimes surprises spring up, As long as you are mature to handle the situation adult like and make mature decisions as to the well being of the children you'll be fine for it is important to bond and take care of the wee ones with love and balance. Remember they are here in your lives for a reason and should be loved to no end for they had no say in the matter. As far as anyone else do what your heart says to do and let everyone else that's critical go on their own way. Don't hide the facts as they will come out anyway
2007-12-25 10:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by cc's bad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry what others think! It is YOU and Him that have to make your relationship work, right? If he is a good person and treats you good, then that's all that matters! You both love and respect and trust each other, then you have got it all! Other peoples lives aren't so perfect either. I wish you both all the best! Season's Greeting's and Happy New Year!
2007-12-25 10:31:42 · answer #4 · answered by fh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is not embarrassing to tell them that he has one daughter out of wedlock, why would it be embarrassing to tell that he has two? As long as you don't get a daughter out of wedlock yourself, I wouldn't worry about it.
Worry about the fact that you have been together only a year and you don't know him that well to marry him. Worry about the fact that apparently he has been impregnating women so easily.
2007-12-25 10:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by terliuke 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is right stop worrying about what others think. It is none of their business if your husband has 2 children by 2 different mothers unless you make it their business. You don't have to hide the facts, just don't be open to tell them your business.
2007-12-25 13:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anna 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be honest. I am with you. I WOULD worry about what others would think. If one of your girlfriends introduced you to her boyfriend who has two babies from two different women, wouldn't you wonder "what kind of guy is this"...for the simple fact that you care about your friend. It's human nature to question other's past. Having one baby out of wedlock is one thing, but having another baby with another woman is simply irresponsible.
I know he is probably a great guy...but be prepared for your parents and friends to be judgmental (they will judge because they love and care about you). But if he proves himself to be that great of a guy, they will accept him.
2007-12-25 10:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by luvly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a wonderful man and he is good to you. Your parents, and friends may just find that enough for them to look past his indiscretion. Good men are very hard to find. If you are embarrassed, then they may react in a negative way as well. If you want to support your fiance, and one day become his wife - then do just that. Tell the truth when the time is right, and whatever the ramifications - stand by him!
2007-12-25 10:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by Maggie Mae 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why it is anyone else's business about his children's mothers.......If you adopted, you wouldn't run around telling everyone, "the kids are adoted, they aren't really mine." You would simply combine your families and make the best of it....as you should do in this situation....if the family finds out later, fine......by then, they will know for sure that he is a great guy and his past is just his past, and not an indication of his future.
Point being, these are his children....and you will be their step mother....all you need to tell your family is their names, ages, sex, and that you intend to love and care for them as any good step-parent would.
2007-12-25 10:31:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldnt worry about anyone else. your fiance is right. you shouldnt care what others think as long as u 2 understand and dont care about the situation. so what if he had 2 kids from different mothers, he was ith them they didnt get along or understand each other so they decided to end it sooner than later, that is normal.
2007-12-25 10:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by annawuvzchris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋