<<~~Does Being An Only Child Lead To Being A Less Social Person Later In Life~~>>??

Question

i was raised mostly as an only child (i have a sibling but he wasnt born until i was 15, so i consider myself as being raised predominantly as an only child), and born to parents who were both in the military, so of course we moved around a lot. I never had the opportunity to make "lifelong" friends with anyone, and was always "the new girl" when i was in school and sometimes (and still do) found it somewhat difficult to make new friends. i wasn't raised with a lot of family around either, so i've always kind of been on my own, often when it comes to social relationships i kind of feel like i dont need people. however, i am 20 now, and i think i should kinda of be out of this "stage" by now, if it's a stage at all and not just a lifelong thing, i want to be more open with people. did me growing up without a lot of family and friends around contribute to me being less of a social person?

i consider myself pretty happy, i love to laugh and have fun, and i smile at everyone i see or meet, so i dont believe it has to do with my temperament

Answer 1

I am an only child (0 siblings) and several years older than you. Like you, I am pretty much a loner. I get along with others, but don't feel a need to socialize that much. Yes, your experiences have certainly contributed to shaping you into the person you are. I actually prefer being by myself most of the time. Do you? If so, just embrace and accept the way you are, because we are all unique. However, if being a loner is really bothering you and making you unhappy, then you need to change things. Perhaps you can join an exercise club or a community/social group in your area. These are good places to meet others. And by the way, what you're experiencing is not a phase, it's who and how you are. But like I said, if you really want to make a change, just work at it. Best wishes to you.

Answer 2

Interesting! I grew up an only child during the Great Depression. I was taught not to make waves for ANYBODY, so always agreed with everyone, even if that were contradictory! Did find some good friends as a young teen...but then married when I was 22, and was an Army wife--where the pressure was on to be a very social, entertaining and constantly smiling wife--to support the advancement of the husband!! My husband just did his time even tho' he was an officer. He then went back to UCBerkely for five yrs while I worked--Then we divorced! I had to go through therapy for years to find out what I wanted and what I wanted to do with MY life!! I found it by going to Berkeley, myself; then teaching and then back for an MA in Guidance and Counseling degree--then worked as therapist for 21 yrs with very troubled adolescents---WHO were trying to find out who THEY REALLY WERE!!!

Answer 3

No...You have the ability to be anything you choose to be. Your current point of view about life will govern your choices. But once you understand that your point of view is only one of many possibilities, you will then be able to choose the possibility you most desire at any given moment.

I'm an only child and I'm very outgoing. But I had to learn to be after having chosen that as a possibility for myself.

Answer 4

I wouldn't predict so. As you grow up, assuming you weren't home schooled or completely locked up at home, you had more than plenty of oppurtunities to socialize. Maybe it has to deal with your temparment....