i have lost my wife, sorry for asking this?

Question

my wife died 7 months ago. do u think it is to early to look for a new relationship, i havent got a clue how to go about it, we were together so long, 40 years.even tho i miss her so much i feel i need a partner, do u think i am wrong.

Answer 1

you're not wrong... you might be a little lonely. it is not bad to look for another partner... but do it for the right reasons. don't do it because you're lonely. do it because you really like this new person you met.

you need to work on yourself first. you need to cope with your pain.

i'm very sorry for your loss. i hope everything works out alright for you.

Answer 2

Please accept my condolences... I'm sure your wife wouldn't want you to be alone, and also sure she wouldn't want your life to end just because hers did... it used to be customary to wait for a year after being widowed, but the main reason for that was back in those days widows were younger, so the year was to make sure a widow wasn't pregnant by her departed husband before remarrying. It's a hundred years later, and at your age, sure, I think it would be a good thing for you to have a partner, she will never be able to take the place of your wife, but I'm sure there is a senior lady out there missing her husband who could use some companionship too. If you feel ready to get back into the world, then go for it... As for how to go about it? Maybe you could start with seeing what your community offers in the way of group activities for seniors, or maybe take a bus tour geared for seniors in your area, just enjoy getting out for some group activities for awhile, or try some volunteer work, make some friends, and maybe you'll meet someone....good luck....

Answer 3

No....you are not wrong. You are lonely and you know the only way to fill the void in your life is with companionship. . . You don't have to apologize for asking the question,...you are only human to feel this way. . . Just take your time with entering the dating scene. It's a whole lot different today than it was when you dated many years ago. Why don't you join ...maybe the Yahoo personal. You can talk to others online that might be suitable for you. I did it once and I met some great guys...you too can meet some really nice people . . . Who knows, in time, it might turn into love and you can have that company you are longing for. Some people may think it is too soon but they aren't dealing with the loneliness like you are. I do not judge you for how you feel because I might be there myself one day. . I know you miss you wife but I don't think it would be disrespecting her if you choose to go on with your life,. I think that is proabably what she would have wanted you to do. Just because she passed away, it don't mean you have to lay down and die too. Good luck, I hope you try what I told ya about the Yahoo Personals. . .

Answer 4

Sorry for your loss. I lost my partner 12 months ago. At the moment, I couldn't imagine finding someone else. All of us handle grief in a different way. If you find someone who feels right for you, then best of luck. I expect it will be difficult not to make comparisons to your late wife, but if you find the right person, hopefully they will allow you time to deal with the confusion, and perhaps guilt, which may arise. I know that if ever I find another partner, he will have to be very patient and understanding. Only you will know whether a new partner is right for you. Expect some people to be against it, but it is you life and you have a right to be happy.
I wish you all the best for 2008 and hope it is a much better year than 2007.

Answer 5

The respectable time to wait before dating after a spouse dies is 6 months. Also, you shouldn't remarry until at least a year after the funeral. It would be better to know the person for at least a year, but if it's someone you already know, then only a 3-6 month engagement is all right. When you start a new relationship, please be careful and check the person out thoroughly making sure to meet her family and friends before getting serious. A background check on someone you've just met is a good idea. I'm speaking from experience. My aunt died after 54 years of matrimony and my uncle was rushed into marriage within a few months by a woman who picked him out of the obits. He was a broken, lonely man who was very trusting and vulnerable. Turns out she had a criminal record, shut out the family and took him for everything he had. He died 3 years after marrying her. As long as you keep your wits about you, there is nothing wrong with looking for a new partner. A good place to look is your local senior center or join a gym or the YMCA and check out any water aerobics classes or other senior fitness classes.

Answer 6

No of course you aren't wrong. So sorry for the way you feel, it must be very difficult at this time of year. 40 years is a long time to be with someone, and you won't easily find another relationship to replace it. Look at Paul McCartney. My advice would be to concentrate on building a life for yourself around friends and activities which take you out and get you involved in life. You may find that through this you meet someone special, but if you concentrate on making new friends male and female, you won;'t feel so lonely and have more chance of finding the right relationship. It will be difficult at first, but keep going, and things will get easier. An alternative is to join an internet dating agency, but personally I would try to involve yourself in activities as much as possible, widening your social circle. There are many women in your situation and even if they don't become a special partner, you will find their friendship very helpful, as well as the friendship of other men, many of whom will be in your situation and can offer you support and understanding. Good luck!

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with wanting a companion. I am sure your wife just wants you to be happy and if being happy means finding someone else, then do so. My dad died a few years ago, and my mom was very sad for a very long time until she found another companion to keep her company. Best of luck.

Answer 8

Sorry for your loss.
Only you will know if you are ready. Being alone is hard, being lonely is worse.
If you feel ok I do not see why not. etiquette says 12 months.
I had a friend who was married for 50 years and when his wife passes away from cancer in January 2000 he was married again in Feb 6 2002, The new wife and him met in August the year after his wife died. Have a wonderful life and just know you are not alone and you don't have to be lonely.

Answer 9

No I don't think it's wrong that you don't want to be alone. I'm sorry for your loss of your wife, I'm sure it's been quite difficult to deal with since her death.

Some others have said it, if you meet another woman, don't try to compair her to your late wife, because she will never live up to those expectations.

But if you feel that your ready to start another relationship, then go for it. I'm sure that your late wife would want you to be happy.

Hope that this helps.

Merry Christmas.

Answer 10

i am so sorry for your loss, we all need companionship, there is no right or wrong in your situation, no one will ever replace what you have lost but you can find happiness again,

life moves on and you need to go with how you feel, go at your own speed in your own time, it will come to you when you are ready,

try and start socialising with friends again, or take up a hobby or voluntary work, where you can meet lots of different people.

there is nothing wrong with wanting someone to share your life with, I'm sure you have a lot of love to give, good luck.

Answer 11

I am very sorry for your loss. I just asked this question in another manner about widower ating and remarrying. I dated a widower recently had he was a very nice man but I honestly had so many mixed emotions about him, because you got the feeling that he was still grieving. My answer to you is... IF you are not ready take your time and be patient. Allow yourself that time to grieve and if you are ready go for it.... I wish you well!