I feel like he's just constantly doing me favours by spending time with me...
When we do get together, our whole meeting is interrupted: his phone won't stop ringing, and everything is timed according to when he has to leave. Our meetings last no longer than an hour, and between all of the interruptions, we barely have any time to be friends. When it's time for him to leave, he gets nervous and rushes me out.
I haven't complained at all to him about it, but he senses my disappointment (even though it seems like he thinks other things in life are getting me sad). I understand he's busy, but I feel that he's forgotten about me...
He constantly pushes me away... It feels like we're becoming distant from one another.
What should I tell him?
Keep in mind that probably nothing will change in his behaviour.
Should I let him go?...
2007-12-25 08:53:18 · 18 answers · asked by --- 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He's not my 'only' friend, and I'm not clinging to him. I give him all of the space he needs, and I don't say anything about it.
It just seems like he no longer cares to be there for me, as I'm always there when he needs me.
2007-12-25 09:02:23 · update #1
Your person you think is YOUR best friend does not think your are HIS best friend.
Either accept this and accept the situation without complaint, relishing the few minutes you have together OR refuse to accept this and find another friend who treasures your friendship as more than a diversion OR try to change this by discussing your feelings with your friend.
Those are your three choices and there are no others.
The risk of the last suggestion is that your friend may reject any change and reject you. If you are strong, you can withstand the rejection and move on.
The outcome of the middle suggestion is that you may lose your friend...but you feel as though you have lost him anyway.
The result of continuation of the current situation is that you feel unvalued in the friendship, with its impact on your ego and feelings of self-worth.
Ultimately, you have to decide which is most important to you and what will the consequences be of what ever action you take.
You don't give your age or your circumstances (young and in school; older and in a social situation; older and in a work situation) but there are millions of people out there who will value you for yourself.
When you waste time in an unsatisfactory situation, you don't have the time or energy to find the most wonderful situations waiting for you out there.
2007-12-25 09:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by larry 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st is he more than a friend? If it was me I would just put the cards on the table let him know why you are really sad, tell him that you feel like he doesn't have time for you anymore or every time y'all do get together its always interruptions just let him know how you feel. Whether it's a boyfriend or just a good friend a real friend that cares about you and your feeling would try to change and do better. I have gone through it with my best friend my boyfriend, my best friend we both talked about it, how we were feeling and now we are tighter than before we have been friend since 6th grade and we are 24 now. Now my Ex boyfriend we were drifting apart he never had time for me, always wanted to hang out with his boys are the people he worked with (he was a marine) i think he was cheating but i couldn't prove it anyway i told him how i was feeling and he told me what he thought, we broke up he didn't want to change so now he is missing out on a good thing, that's been long ago though now i got someone special in my life and loves to spend time with me but i don't crowd him though but we good i love him. So I hope the best for you, it will be ok! Just pray about it! I will pray for you!
2007-12-25 17:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by amorbrown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to him? That's the only thing that is good about your question, because best friends are easy to talk to.
Did anything change in your relationship, ie; you getting a boyfriend or him a girlfriend or new job or project of some sort.
My advice is talk, communicate a little more. Ask him out for lunch and if you keep getting the brush off, maybe you should take it as he doesn't want to be bothered sorry to say.
GOOD LUCK
2007-12-25 16:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by xcellant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of growing up, is a slight change in priorities.
You say he doesn't have any time for you, but he's making time for you! If you guys hang out, you should have fun while you are hanging out.
It wouldn't hurt to talk to him about it. You could just tell him that you would like to know if he really enjoys hanging out with you, or if he thinks it's a burden. Tell him you realize he is a busy person, and appreciate the time spent together, but you would like it if he would maybe turn his cell phone off when hanging out with you.
I have a best friend who I barely talk to when school is in session...because she's too busy during that time to hang out. But during the summer, it's on like donkey kong.
I'm sure if you talk it out with him, things will get better. If not, then you have to decide if you need more out of a friendship or if the current situation will work out for you.
In either event, I hope you get it handled and I wish you luck!
2007-12-25 17:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by Sesquidpedalian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This always hurts. But is a part of life. I don't know how old you are, but you'll find relationships are dynamic, this means they are always changing. Sometimes we are on the recieving end of someone growing in a different direction. Keep in mind you will have friends you will outgrow as your outlook and interests in life change. In the meantime, busy yourself, find out the things you are interested in, there are a ton of different people, cultures, movies, books, hobbies, sports and even volunteering at a church, shelter etc. Make a life of importance for yourself, you'll never lack for friends, and you'll never be bored or boring.
2007-12-25 17:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is needing a little space and finds you clinging to this relationship as your only means to happiness. He has other friends he wants to spend time with as well. You do not have to let him go, but you should develop other friendships and keep him as a friend for when he does have time.
2007-12-25 16:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People grow apart! Just move on and look for friendship elsewhere....and keep him in your circle if you can. Don't be bitter about it. This is just life. My best friend in middle school did the same thing, and later on I realized that if she hadn't have done that I wouldn't have ended up meeting the love of my life in high school later on. It hurts when people don't show that they care the same way you do, but theres not much you can do other than move on. Keep in mind how it makes you feel, so that you can be aware of other people's feelings in the same situation!
2007-12-25 16:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spend more time with friends who honestly enjoy your company and appreciate being with you without feeling rushed or pressured to leave. This person is not your best friend because he is only tolerating you and doesn't seem to really want to be with you so you must face reality and get on with your life without him. Say a fond farewell and never look back!
Take care and God bless.
2007-12-25 17:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see whats happening ( no meanness intended ) but if Your Best friend no longer has time for you then He is not your best friend.
Let him go and get someone who does have the time for you that you can truly call a best friend, otherwise you do nothing but hurt yourself, and that is the last thing you want isn't it? so let him go and get on with enjoying your life with someone that really appreciates you.
2007-12-25 17:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by mrlonely_solonely_immrlonely 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should, but then I think if I was in your position, I would tell him how I felt... Does that help? It may be hard, but it may be the only way to save your friendship.
2007-12-25 16:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by Nafidra Foya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋