I can afford to raise a baby, even on my own. I told him I was pregnant 2 days ago and he has made it clear he doesn't want it. This is a scary situation being pregnant, but I really do wanna keep it. I just feel torn between what he says and how I feel. I do understand his point, but I told him repeatedly he won't be tied down for it, and I won't hold him responsible as a parent.
2007-12-25 08:26:18 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm 7 weeks pregnant and I found myself in your position. He doesn't want anything to do with a nothing child (he has other children). At a medical clinic in Atlanta, it was going to cost $480 without insurance. He was willing to give me the money and take me to abort the pregnancy. I was so confused because i'm only 17. I got prom and graduation to look forward to, then college. I decided that it wasn't about me or him. I let him go and I'm doing everything in my power to make a way for myself and my child, once he or she gets here in August. I'm going to school and working a 40 a week job.
You can do it without him. There's nothing wrong with being a single mother. I understand his side because I understood my ex's side, but the fact still remains the same, you didn't impregnate yourself. He laid down with you, so he needs to share in the responsiblity. You can do like I'm doing. Tell him to take a hike, and let him know, when I'm in labor and the baby's head crowns, you put your John Hancock on the birth certificate, and you're off the hook. I'll let the state handle the rest.
Be strong! It's not as bad as it may seem! Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2007-12-25 08:47:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
If this is what you want, then this is what you should do. A baby is a wonderful gift, and if you can afford to take care of him or her, then that is even better. However, if he is against it, then you should cut your ties with him now. If you want to hold him financially responsible then that is your choice, but you do not need him to raise a child. For what it is worth, I was an unwed mother 11 years ago, and I have never regretted any decision I made. My daughter is a wonderful person and my life is richer because she is in it. I married when she was a year old, and my husband adopted her several years ago. He is a wonderful dad to her. Your son or daughter has a dad out there too, it just may not be your boyfriend.
Good luck with whatever you, and have a Merry Christmas!
2007-12-25 16:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by Nik 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hello there,
Well i thought i'd be a good one for this. I have been exactly in your shoes. When I was pregnant just a little while back, my boyfriend insisted on not keeping the baby, but i knew that my heart wanted to. So I went ahead and went against my heart, and I suffer for it to this day, its always in the back of my mind. Its hard to even see babies or pregnant mothers. Although my boyfriend feels absolutely horrible, there is nothing that can take that back. So i just want to say.. that no MATTER WHAT, go with your heart, because everything will work itself out with time. Well, hope this helped you. Contact me if ya' wanna talk.
2007-12-27 03:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by :: NiNa :: 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if the two of you are old enough, than you should keep it and raise it. However, if you don't want to keep it...give it up for adoption. You need to tell him that its YOUR body and the baby is growing inside of YOU. You're the one that's going to have to go through all the aches and pains of being pregnant for 9 mos....not him. I'm not trying to be mean, but if your bf can't handle this than he shouldn't have had unprotected sex with you. Also, if he can't respect your decision to keep it...even after telling him that you won't hold him responsible (altho you should make it clear that the baby is HALF of HIS responsibility too since he helped make it) for helping you raise it...than I would break up with him. You need to have a stong "father figure" in the kid's life. Someone who will love both you AND the baby and support the both of you as well. If he is incredibly against that, than dump him. Remember, having a child is a wonderful thing (if you are able to care for it as it needs to be cared for) and should be celebrated. I sincerely wish you all the best of luck & congrats!!!
2007-12-25 16:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sparklemoon14 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im actually in the same situation right now, im 4 weeks pregnant to, and my bf isnt tellin me to get an abortion he just keeps sayin omg we are gonna be poor, and tellin me how scared he is, and how his worst fear is coming true and that he doesnt know what to do.. im so scared this is the first time that it really hit me... u see i was stupid i thought i wanted his baby and that he would change if i go pregnant.. u know grow up and be a man... but now im seeing that he isnt... and that he probably wont and now its too late im pregnant... now i really didnt intentionally get pregnant but i thought that maybe if i did he would man up... truth is i dont want an abortion and i told myself regardless that i wouldnt... so with or without him i am having this baby as long as i didnt misscarry because i ive had some vaginal bleeding... but im in this with my baby if he or she is still there for life... i dont have my first appoinment until the 15th so i pray all is well and that in 8 months i will be a mommy!
2007-12-25 19:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally dont see how a person could not claim their own child and not want it. I personally don't believe in an abortion because to me that is the same as murder. and it is already a person because it is growing inside of you. If you have the baby then it will have a chance. You said you couldn't afford to raise a baby on your own won't your parents help?? Wick can help pay for formula and stuff. If you decide not to keep the baby (after it is born) you can put him/her up for adoption or into foster care. you and him made a choice and this is a result of you choice. no one can decide for you to keep the baby or to terminate it we could only give you opioins. something are put in our life to make us realize what we have.
2007-12-25 16:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no one can make choices for you. Just make sure in the end you are happy. if he doesn't want it, then he doesn't love you. Forget him, everyone is afraid at first, but to say he doesn't want you to have it, is very very cruel. Enjoy your pregnancy, it will have it's ups and downs but you will never regret it. A baby is a blessing regardless, give him some time to realize what is going on. But please keep the baby! Not having a man around is not a reason not to have a baby. good luck and congratulations.
2007-12-25 17:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by josie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey! Don't worry! It'll get better! Ok, so at least you made it clear to him that you want to keep the baby, right? And he obviously made it clear that he wants no part in it.... It does sound like a scary situation and I'm sorry that you have to go through it, maybe your friends and family will be there for you now that you need them the most. It'll get better!
2007-12-25 16:32:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
VERY GOOD FOR U!!! seriously, its better the kid has no father than a bad one, and life is better than death. keep that baby. tell him he should get clear with it or leave your decision alone. apparently Ur on good feet and your baby's already living. don't be a murderer. i admire you.
also, when the man sees the baby, there is normally a hormone rush of a about 6 month where he will be all over the child, positively. many woman say that this is a miracle, but its true and that's what counts!!! best wishes!
2007-12-25 16:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by Graceland R 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You can still keep the baby if you want to.. He does not have to be a father every one still makes a choice if you decided to have the baby put his name on the birth certificate.. So you can still collect child support from him.. Talk to the local DHS see what they can do for you and help you through it.. there is also WIC out there to help.... Also another option is for adoption if you keep it open then you can still see and visit the baby,.. best of luck with you and your choice....
2007-12-25 16:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋