I just turned 21, years old/ ive been married to my husband for a year now as of dec 23 2007, we are having a child in just a couple of weeks, however im always afraid my husband is going to hurt me, or ceat on me, even though he hasnt , but i just have this anxiety all the time tht i have to watch him and make sure where he is at all the time, and with who, it drives me insane, especially cause ive done pagents, and am considered so pretty, and im considered to be out of his league, and he is not very good looking but he has a peronality tht attracts women to him, and i get very jealous and envious, and im always telling him he is hurting me, i want him to chase after me, i want him to worry about what im doing like i do of him what should i do to make him chase after me? please help me, i really need advise?
2007-12-25 06:55:02 · 17 answers · asked by sarasham1220 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do not let him see you are worrying, you are only inflating his ego, play hard to get, use those feminine wiles.
2007-12-25 07:02:33 · answer #1 · answered by joe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so insecure? It does not matter if he attracts the women to him, if he does not want them there is nothing that they can do. He is married to you and you should not assume that he is going to cheat on you. You cannot live your life in fear of what might happen because you will miss what is happening. Being pretty is not going to keep him there, you are. There is more to life and a marriage than looks. Stop hounding him and make him anxious to get home to his beautiful wife and baby. Keep him happy and let him know that he makes you happy and that you are glad he is there. You do not want them to chase after you. Really men also have the same fears they just do not show it or tell you about it. He is not worrying about you because he loves you and trusts you and expects that you want to be right where you are. Being aware of what is going on with him is good but you cannot be extreme about it.
2007-12-25 10:04:29 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has not cheated or hurt you, then your fear are unsubstantiated and illogical, and it is you, who is hurting yourself with this behavior, if you keep this up, you will surely drive a wedge between he and yourself, you will ruin your relationship. He married you, not the other women, therefor you were his choice, don't make him regret it. Why do you want his to "chase" you, are you saying he is no longer interested in you? When you agreed to marry him, the chasing was over, he already caught you. Has this behavior or thinking pattern arisen since pregnancy or have you always been this way? I strongly suggest you speak with your family doctor and get a referral to see a psychiatrist or psychologist, who might be able to help you decipher, this serious problem of inadequacy. Do it now, before the baby is born, as i think it will release a lot of stress and help a great deal after the birth as well. But please do seek help.
2007-12-25 10:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by ferochira 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its kind of hard for your husband to chase you when your chasing him all the time never giving him a chance to reverse roles.But then again what kind of relationship would that be? From experience on both parts...being the jealous partner is never a fun role and I know this because I was a carrier of this disease and believe me I know how it feels to walk your walk especially pregnant.Answer is... forget about trying to get him to chase you cuz that role isn't fun either.You need to work with yourself.Find a private mental state of mind,allow it click in your head that you know your not ugly, do the best to hold them in and as for your jealous thoughts throw them to the back and replace them with times your husband made you feel attractive or times he's said and obviously meant how sexy and attractive you are?Let the rage completly pass and that will help you from feeding your disease of jealousy.If it seems to you that counseling is necessary than don't hesitate but talking to your spouse would be best and coming up with ways to keep you from tripping such as him checking in to insure you things of that sort.cuddling lots is very important especially during your pregnancy.if you need further advice feel free to email me cuz i am a expert at this and have many ways to help be rid of this insecurity but this answer would become a novel if i go on
2007-12-25 07:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by diamondgirl83bi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You needing him to chase after tells me you are a bit insecure. That you would only feel worthy and loved is he were to be overly concerned like you are with him. But that is not necessary if you believe him when he tells you he loves you. Put your energies into treating yourself to something nice...a walk, a manicure or whatever to tell yourself that you are a special person and deserving of his love. Chasing after one another after you've been married is not necessary if you are both secure in your love for each other. Tell him if you are feeling insecure and give him a chance to reassure you. Good luck
2007-12-25 07:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to grow up. Your poor, poor husband! It's women like you that turn good, faithful men into cheaters. You're going to drive him right into the arms of another (sane) woman. Your self-esteem must be horribly low to feel like you have to treat your husband like a dog on a chain. He obviously loves YOU or he wouldn't have married you. You have the prize so why are you behaving this way? You need counseling and you owe your husband an apology. And if anyone tells you how to "make your husband chase after you" they need to grow up too!
2007-12-25 07:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
take care your self better, your husband is not your whole life, stop worry about who chase who, just try to improve your self and have a happy life. Be independent financially and emotionally.
2007-12-25 07:05:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 going on ten...you need to grow up and become an adult and that includes stopping this runaway illogical imagination...you're just indulging yourself and you must get yourself under control or you will drive him away, baby or no baby. I could barely read your question, I can't imagine how he lives with you 24/7! Sheesh!
2007-12-25 07:09:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to curb your jealousy otherwise your marriage will fail. How would you feel if he didn't trust you and accused you of cheating, etc? Eventually, he will cheat because you think he does anyway. Stop it now. Go to him today and apologize. He isn't going to chase after you because he is a mature adult and you are immature like a teen. Think about your actions and vow to change if you value your marriage.
2007-12-25 06:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by Julie H 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Pregnancy hormones are driving you to this...focus on your baby's arrival and relax!! You are too wrapped up in yourself, gf and conceited. Your baby will pick up on your vibe if you dont simmer down!!
No matter HOW pretty you are or think you are, JEALOUSY makes you UGLY.
2007-12-25 08:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he screws up and cheats, you're gonna chase him alright. You'll chase him down with child support.
2007-12-25 06:58:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋