My husband had an affair with a bit more experienced person than me. He admitted to it and ended the affair. It has only been a week but everytime I try to get intimate with him he pulls away saying he feels bad and can't have sex with me until he deals with what happened. Is it because he enjoyed her more? Am I too boring? I love sex with him and want to reconnect with him on that level how can I do it?
2007-12-25 06:32:06 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is still emotionally tied to her as well as sexually. it may take some time if u even want to go back to him after all this. he not only cheated on u but now is rejecting u. how hurtful it must be.
2007-12-25 06:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a better person then me. If my husband had an affair he'd be sleeping in the guest room or hotel for a few weeks.
It is very difficult to recover from an affair for you and him. You both need time to determine what your next step will be. He had an affair for a reason and perhaps he wants to move on. You need time and a very in depth talk about your future.
2007-12-25 06:40:34 · answer #2 · answered by kana121569 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You may have forgiven him but it doesn't seem that he has forgiven himself. Maybe the two of you should check out some marriage counseling to help work through this together. Drop the sex issue as you may be pushing him further away even though that is not what you intended.
As for the more experienced woman, well....you can make yourself more experienced with your husband. Once he sorts through his issues, the two of you need to start talking about your own personal needs and fantasies. Try new things. Have fun.
2007-12-25 07:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been thru this. My husband had an affair, and came back to me on his own and wouldn't touch me for a long time. He eventually did and then years later had another affair and we are now divorced. Looking back, I should have divorced him then, but I didn't. If you want to stay with him, be very very sure that he has ended it and wants to be with you. Make sure you have absolutely no doubts whatsoever.
2007-12-25 06:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by margarita 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those points in life that transforms boys into men and girls into women.
I don't know if your willingness to continue this charade of a relationship stems from your naiveté or from silliness; but, I do know this: You are setting yourself up for more pain and sorrow by allowing him to get away with this affair so quickly and easily.
I welcome you to the world of the grown-up, and to the land of the lovelorn.
2007-12-25 07:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by Silent Gams 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is lying to you, he is still seeing her or he would be having sex with you...he didn't feel too bad to cheat on you, did he? And now he feels too bad to have sex with you out of guilt? If you believe that I have a nice bridge in Brooklyn to sell you...
2007-12-25 07:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, he only ended the affair a week ago and you want to give it up to him already? You're a really forgiving person.
2007-12-25 08:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He should be begging you for sex. Was it a woman or a man that he cheated with? You can do so much better Good Luck
2007-12-25 11:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pretty much guarrantee that he still is having the afair. I would tell him that you want him to take a lie detector test, and have a place lined up where you can go get one done.
2007-12-25 07:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its going to take time,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but unless you can out-do what the other woman did,,,,time may not make any difference in the situation,,,he would not have strayed if the sex was good at home in the first place,,,and whos to say the affair is over,,,and is he being truthful as to who ended it,,him or the other person,,if she ended it with him,,that may be the reason why he is not wanting to have a normal relationship with you again,,you forgot to mention your age,how long you have been married, Good-luck
2007-12-25 06:41:48 · answer #10 · answered by kkahn9dodge 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I give u a lot of courage and hope for staying with him, It is a hard thing for a marriage to experience. Though If u really want to work it out. I would start watching erotic movies and clips on the net wherever. To find out what really gets him going, entice him think of new things to try to do and places to do it.
Of course i am not one to give advice since i have only been married for a year and have not experienced that.
2007-12-25 06:38:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋