Cheated on me back on 98 and again last easter with the same man.He lives overseas and he is married with 2 kids now.Came to AU with his family, called my wife and asked her out and ,she didnt say no. My wife lied to me about the affair telling me that it was just flirt.i didnt believe the story back then but i gave her another chance. When i found out this time i demanded the trouth..She said that They had an affair both times,She wanted an adventure back then..and this time she was stressed,,they played sexuly but never had sex with him.(??)She avoids the subject every time...and since i found out she is overeacting in sex. Is she trying to confuse me? Other fact are that we have four kids and are in our mid 30s...It really bothers me the idea that she is lying to me again..very hard to trust her this time..Everything i know till now was hard to take out from her...She finds uncomfortable to talk about it..and i'm burning in hell...So i need some help here..Anybody..please.....
2007-12-24 22:58:44 · 16 answers · asked by TOXOTIS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unless she is willing to come clean and take responsibility u wil continue to feel hurt and angry. her reasons are all things within herself that have nothing to do with u at all. but it will be hard to ever trust her again since she is not taking much responsibility for this. she finds it uncomfortable because she isn't mature enough to deal with it, and may not feel she was wrong. her level of remorse just doesn't get it. also the lying to u leaves much to be desired. have u considered christian counseling.
2007-12-24 23:05:47 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first I would tell your sister if she does not already know and second I would definatly get away from her. Seriously if the woman cheated on you that means trouble and the way she is as a stay at home mom and cant keep a room clean and share any resposibilities as your wife. Plus she goes clubing with the same man she cheated on you with spells that she is not a good person to keep around. Dude seriously she is NOT worth the heart break, stress and all the worry that will kill you faster than you know it. It is time for you to think of yourself and the kids. I would immeditly tell her to leave and find elsewhere to go. Move on and find a better woman who will love you no matter what and treat you with respect and that will never hurt you. You deserve much better than that. Dont think twice leave this woman now. There are woman out there that need a good man.
2016-04-10 23:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do need some help... possibly in the form of counseling. You need to decide for yourself if this marriage is worth saving. She has cheated on your twice, and has never come clean about each episode. Saying that she didn't have sex with these men is a bunch of bullsh*t, but I suspect you already know that. I'm sorry you are going through this... you have children to think of as well. If your wife won't consider marriage counseling, then I think it is time for you to leave her... she will only continue to be unfaithful to you. And don't ever stay for the sake of your children... don't think that they don't feel the tensions of a bad marriage... staying can damage them more than people realize. You have some hard thinking to do... take your time, but make a wise decision and stick with it. Be strong... Best of luck to you.
2007-12-24 23:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Racer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you remain married to her, you will always feel like you're burning in hell. You need to face the fact that your wife doesn't love you. You will never be able to trust her again--and with good reason--she can't be trusted. Right now, you are robbing your own life of happiness and love. It is in your best interest to get a divorce. At least when you're divorced, you can then have a much better chance of finding someone with a much better moral character. If you don't divorce, you will live every day of your life knowing that your wife doesn't love you.
2007-12-25 07:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been here my friend. It's very hard to let go of someone you love esspecially when children are involved. But the hard truth of the matter is there is absolutely no excuse for anyone to ever cheat. If you really love someone this is not possible of happening. I'm so sorry this has happened to you but you need to move on with your life and make the best out of the cituation with the children. If you stay in this marriage you will only be hurting yourself and your children.
good luck !!!
2007-12-24 23:35:05 · answer #5 · answered by sue 2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront your wife... asked her whether does she really need you to be in her life for her lifetime...
You can see the truth from her... the truth could be painful but its the truth...
But in another hand... did you ever neglected her... not showering her with tender love & caringness...
If you do... its best if both of you try to discuss & patch things up like the first time you try to win her heart... & fall in love with her...
Stay away from that area & move to somewhere new... your wife, she has to be sincere too...
If you both treasure the relationship, there wouldnt be a second or an equal incident to happens again....
Wishing you luck...
2007-12-24 23:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by Me To You 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now that she has already cheated twice, i think you have two choices.
1. if you dont have kids
Divorce her and move on.
2. if you have kids
Move on, open up your mind, study the life styles of swingers and become a swinging couple. Once you are in that community, it wont be as bad as it seems. Trust me , they live alot happier than normal couples. Plus this way you wont get hurt being cheated as its too painful.
2007-12-25 00:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife cheated on me too. First it was emotional adultery, later, she went on a trip just to meet the guy and have sex with him. I am sure she still loves me, but I never really loved (long story). I am sure that is a big part of the reason why she cheated. I know it is tough to hear, but she is probably looking outside of the marriage because of what she thinks she is not getting within the marriage. She was still wrong, and I do feel for you, but focus more on what you can do to save the marriage and less on her infidelity.
2007-12-24 23:08:39 · answer #8 · answered by tinman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just divorce her ....how disrespectful is that ...cheating on you TWICE with the same guy ...remember ...once a cheater always a cheater ...yeah sure ..ur gonna think im nasty for telling u to bail but when there is no trust in the relationship its doomed anyway ....ur just slowing down the process ....u said it urself ...u feel like ur in hell everytime u think abt it and how she wont tell u the truth ..people like her should be left along ...im sorry u got ur heart broken ...good luck
2007-12-24 23:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by shh! 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well it's obvious your not ringing her bell anymore, so now you have to decide whether your going to put up with her infidelity or move on, it's really that simple, to bad you have so many children involved, but you can bet when this guy comes back again, she will do it again! Good Luck!
2007-12-24 23:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋