My PARENTS ARE TRYING TO BRAKE US UP BECAUSE OF THE BABY?

Question

okay if u seen any of my questions u no wats going on if u havnt heres wat it is...im pregnant and im 14 my boyfriend is 17 we have been dating almost 2 years and i manged to hide the fact that i was dating him from my parents alright so at first my boyfriend was acting like a TOTAL jerk then when he had the chance 2 calm down and exept wat was happening and he called me and we worked everything out we want to keep our baby now and we both want to raise it together and i no we are young but we really do love each other now i finally told my parents what happend they COMPLETLY freaked and they hate the fact that i am pregnant the only reason they dont want me having an abortion is because its sin so now they want to me to have this baby and give it up for adoption and also they want me to brake up with my boyfriend they took away my phone and dont even let me talk to him the only way we talk now is through e-mail since i'm not allowed to leave the house only 4 school WHAT SHOULD I DO

i dont no why but last time this question got deleted

sorry about misspelled words i could barely fit the question

Answer 1

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now - I am going to have to agree that at 14 you should not be having sex! But obviously you are passed that point. You’ve had sex and are pregnant! This entire situation you are in HUGELY depends on your MATURITY.

Me - when I was 15 I dropped out of high school, got engaged, worked 2 full-time jobs (hotel housekeeping and a fast food joint since I was young and that’s all I could get hired for). When I turned 18 I went to an education center and got my High School Diploma. I am now married to the same person I’ve been with since I was exactly 14 years old. Ironic, I think. We have been together for 8 years and married for 5. I got parental consent to marry at 17 years old. Now - I have three beautiful children and I am 22 years of age. My husband is in the Military and I am an at-home Mother (for the time being). There ARE success stories. But as I said above, this HUGELY depends on your MATURITY.

If you are anything like me, mentally much older then my actual age - then I believe it is YOUR life and YOUR decision. You DO have rights. As the child is YOURS. Adoption, abortion, all these things are things that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Could you handle that? Really think about it.

I believe your parents are handling this all WRONG. Now - as a parent myself, and you being 14, this is what I would do:

#1 - you are 14 years old, not old enough to work until 15/16 in most cases. So as your parent I would take on the responsibility of financially helping my grandchild. Although I would expect YOU to tend to your child. I would expect you to finish school. Maybe take an alternative route such as a G.E.D (General Education Diploma, basically the same damn thing as a High School Diploma). Some states have special programs for pregnant teenagers to continue on with school, such as night classes and whatnot.

#2 - If you believe you and your boyfriend have a mature & serious relationship, then I would expect him to be a part of your babies life also. I was expect him to take responsibility. And as your parent, I would talk to his parent with helping with the financial support of the child. Or, since he is 17 - he would need to get a job to help financially.

#3 - I think your parents really, seriously, honestly, need to sit down and RETHINK what they are expecting of you. And you need to think too. Please read these suggestions and take the time to really think things out. All the choices in this situation will have an immense effect on your life. Whether it be adoption, abortion, or keeping the child, or any other possible thing concerning this situation. No matter what, you are going to be effected.

If anything else, have your parents read this themselves and take a look at other peoples opinions & suggestions.

Keep us up to date. The ultimate decision is in YOUR hands, do NOT forget that. YOU are the Mother of this child.

Answer 2

14? Why weren't you practicing safe sex? And, how is a 14 and 17 year old going to raise a baby? Do you both have jobs? Does your boyfriend have his own place? That is your parents' concern. They will still have the financial burden of another child.Plus, the fact that you are so young.You should have listened to them.You cannot raise this child alone or even with the help of a 17 year old boyfriend. Give your child a chance for a good life and let the baby be placed for adoption with a family that you agree on.Keep the adoption records open, so the child could contact you in the future. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Give it time. While waiting for your parents to cool down, think of what raising a baby means. At 14 you can not financially take care of the baby yourself, at least not for a few years. You are going to have to rely on the 17 yr old father for that for a few years (or someone else). While your parents cool down, think of the reasons you want to keep the baby. Maybe they will change their mind, maybe not. Either way, you are going to have to formulate a plan for the care of the baby and your own future.
Know this. Raising a baby is NOT easy, it is NOT kids stuff, it is NOT a game. It is NOT all sunshine and laughs. Many teen mothers will tell you that. But they, most if not all, will tell you that all the hardship, the long hours, hard work, lean times, sleepless nights, etc., all of it, were ALL worth it, wouldn't trade it for the world.

Answer 4

Ok, it's probably a good idea to adopt it out, as a baby is a huge huge responsibility, and at your age- a burden. The baby will stop you from doing so many things, such as graduate high school which is a basic building block at life.

But, if you're so sure about keeping it, and you have your heart set.. it can be done. My friend had twins at 14, and by the time she was 21- she had five kids... but they weren't that well taken care of.

So, here's what you do:::
Wait it out........... everyone just found out, everyone is being irrational. they will come around........

seriously, I had a teen pregnancy, and they kind of start getting excited for you.

when i first told my mom I was pregnant, she flipped and wanted me to get an abortion-- but I said no, and refused. Then as time went on & I got bigger, she started getting excited!

She ended up throwing me 2 baby showers- going all out! Then she even asked to be in the delivery room (which she was, with my boyfriend- the babys dad)..

Now she loves my son more then anything or anyone on the face of this planet. They will come to grips with reality, just wait it out & don't make any irrational decisions!

good luck & merry christmas!

Answer 5

OK. First off, you are too young to have the baby. Why have it now, when you two can continue spending time together and wait until a much OLDER age. In this instance, the parents are right. Now that you can't even see your boyfriend, doesn't help. So now the child is not going to have a father in (s)he life and they are going to have a mother 14 year older then them? 14 is WAY to young, save it for when your much older. The kid will thank you and you'll thank yourself. That and I think your parents will be much more understanding about it.

Answer 6

Hey- you are 14 and not old enough to be having sex let alone becoming a mother. Sure you love your bf. But it isn't the kind of love that can endure a child raising a child.

Honey. your bf is much older than you. Your parents have plenty of reasons to be upset with you. You have had made a huge mistake.

The chance of you and the bf having a long term relationship is about zero at this age. Add a baby and you are in for a disaster.

There are plenty of families without children who would make wonderful parents for your little one. I personally have an adopted daughter.

You are a young woman, barely out of childhood. You should NOT be having sex let alone a baby..

Your parents have every right to make you break up with this older boy. In some states he could be arrested for having set with a 14 yr old.

What should you do? Obey your parents.
Give the baby up for adoption. Get an education. Get a good paying job to take care of your self and be sure and get a job with health care benifits. Then think about children.

This boy needs to let you be and let your parents take care of you. Believe me love at your age feels powerful, but you are going straight for disaster. The mistakes you make now will really destroy you for the rest of your life.

Please grow up. Obey your parents. Love your baby enough to give him or her a chance for a good life. You sure can't give it to the baby.

Answer 7

I understand your parents being a bit freaked out. In most countries your boyfriend is GUILTY of "statutory rape" as you are legally TOO YOUNG to consent to sex.
Your parents can, as your "legal guardians" push for prosecution of him, and it would very likely be prosecuted, after all the baby is evidence in their case.

At 14 you are NOT pyysically or mentally prepared to have a child, you need to sit down with your parents, put the issue of the BF to one side and discuss the future seriously.
At 14, you CANNOT earn money to support the child, so your parents will have to provide for both of you, therefore they have a right to discuss all the options with you.

As for the BF, if he's not smart enough to use protection when he's "raping" a 14yr old (And YES I DO mean that, regardless of you saying yes) then he's not going to be a good father.

Answer 8

well really at 14 your parents can say if you can keep or abort your baby, it is not you choice at this time. if you were older you could make this descion and you are not. im 17 and 6 months preg. i however have a choice. you have to be at least 15 ot 16 i believe to make this. i mean what are you really asking? cuhz im not sure anyone can help you because your parents, if they say you have to break up with him then you have too unless you keep it a secret. honestly 14 and pregnant is a lil beyong crazy to be just cuhz 17 is crazy to me. theres noway you can raise a baby at 14 when your not even legal enough to work! and what your in 7 or 8th grade? c'mon. i dont kno how to help you. im sorry, really. theres nothing you can really do. =/

Answer 9

At 14 your parents do have a lot of control on your life. I don't know how much control they have over your baby, though. I don't think they can make you put it up for adoption or anything...
I am glad that Jared came around and that you two are working it out. Your parents need to realize that even though you are young this is your decision/mistake to make.

Answer 10

adoption is the wrong way to go i have a couple of friends that were in the same boat you are in now. they regret and still cry everyday for the child they gave away. you should definetly look at abortion because having a baby this young has a major impact on you finishing school getting a good job and being able to provide for any other children you may have. another option is talking your parents into raising the baby themselves. Or if the father cares he is old enough to provide for the baby on his own especially if he can get help from his family.