i'm getting divorced, but my divorce isn't final yet, is it morally right for me to be with someone new? my new bf is someone i dated in the past and truely care about and want to spend the rest of my life with. is what i'm doing making people think i'm a slut because i'm still married?
2007-12-24 20:06:31 · 18 answers · asked by brandy s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was told by my attys. that according to state laws, until my divorce was final, I was still married. Even separated, it would spell big trouble for me in court, to even be seen sitting at a table with a man in a restaurant, unless he was related to me. So on top of dealing with my ex's infidelity and everything else, I was also isolated to a large degree and stuck in limbo, even though the ex was already living with another woman. It was horrible and gave me way too much time to dwell on my pain. I went to lots and lots of counseling.
Personally, I feel that if you know it's over and there's no chance of reconciling, move on, if the law allows it.
2007-12-24 20:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is explain to him you need to put things on hold until your divorce is final. Explain you need to deal with your issues and then you would like to date him.
And you will have things to deal with. If you care about him, don't stick him in the middle of that mess. Handle one relationship at a time.
And yes, some people probably think badly of you. Morally, it isn't okay to have a spouse and a boyfriend. But more importantly, it is not okay to involve a third person in your marriage for the simple fact that it hurts them. Get your divorce, then date. It is better for all concerned.
2007-12-24 20:11:35 · answer #2 · answered by James Watkin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the middle of a divorce (and I'm assuming seperated now) then it is fine. However, most people are going to hear that you're married (doesn't matter that its on its way out the door) and that you have a boyfriend and think the worse. Just don't worry about what they think, as long as you aren't cheating on a husband you still currently have you're fine.
2007-12-24 20:10:58 · answer #3 · answered by Harley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is excellent, if you are not living with your ex and you are getting a divorce, i don't see that is any problem. Just look forward to the future. You are lucky to find someone you want to spend your life with, opportunities like this do not come often. Good luck
2007-12-24 20:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by Ruksana P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To hell with what people think, as long as you know that any moment your divorce papers will be served, I don't see any reason why you can't go on dating, You're not getting married ahead of your divorce anyway.
2007-12-24 20:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by Alran June I 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the way you say it. Like if you say hes my boyfriend people will probably take it the wrong way but if you say he is a friend i have been seeing alot it usually works out fine and it is totally normal to be in the same spot you are in
2007-12-24 20:11:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
take it from someone who has been divorced. as long as you and your husband are seperated living apart and are really getting a divorce it's fine and why care so damn much what other people think anyway
2007-12-24 22:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by rsupry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok is you and your husband are separated, and why tell people that you are still married if you think that they are going to think that you are a *****??
i dont think you are... smart move on the new boyfriend... hope things work out for you... merry christmas
2007-12-24 20:10:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you care what other's think-do what makes you happy!
Your living your life for you an only you.
I think it's great -If your being treated the way you need to be with this new love -then go for it.
2007-12-24 20:11:10 · answer #9 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, do u have any kids? if not than go right ahead with your new bf, it's okay!!! so what if people think of u as a ****. they will get over it! as long as u r happy again that all that matters!
2007-12-25 02:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by maggie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋