How can I let my husband know that he should tell me all his fantasies w/o feeling judged?

Question

I know some men stray because there are things an outside woman will do that the wife supposedly won't. I want to coerce him to tell me
what he likes/wants no matter how strange, without coming off as corny or have bad timing. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Over time, trust will build. A husband has the right to private thoughts, but you both should be able to verbally express needs and wants to each other. Remember, fantasies don't have ground rules. That's what make them a fantasy. So even if it is a fantasy, it could be "off limits". Don't let a fantasy become a reason for hurt feelings or feelings of inadequacy. One partner might have a fantasy of multiple sexual partners, but never really follow through with it. My best advice: If you want your husband (or wife) to stay in your bed, make sure your bed is a fun and satisfying place to be. I'm not talking wild & creative every time, but rather that the door is always open. There's always someone just lurking outside of your marriage that is willing to have a good time. So, you be the good time first and keep the strangers out.

Answer 2

Here's the rub, past women have told us out fantasies were disgusting or sick and so we no longer tell anyone what they are. That's what happened to me anyway.

I used to stray but it wasn't because I couldn't get weird sex it was because I wasn't getting hardly any sex at home. I have several fantasies I use to help me get erect faster and keep me that way but I know my wife would never indulge any of them because she is so prudish.

I'd tell you some of mine but then this answer will get flagged for sure. email me if you want to know what they are.

Answer 3

Well to get him to do that you have to do it too. It took me and my wife a long time to open up and tell each other all of our deep dark fantasies, because neither of us wanted to turn the other away. It just takes time to build up the level of trust and comfort with yourselves and each other.

Answer 4

If you are sincere about fulfilling his fantasies, then ask him what fantasies he would like to live out. Just be careful what you ask for. You may not be happy with the answers that you get. He does have a right to keep them to himself , as do you.

Answer 5

well its a matter of trust.
With my fiancee we have reached this sort of stage.
We agreed weirdly over the phone while i was away(for some reason it was way easier this way) to talk about our fantasies.
If i recall she said something like "you know there nothing i will not do for you.and i also want us to explore our fantasies together".
However she did add "as long as it did not involve others ".
So in a way she sort of gave the green light both ways to suggest fantasies but also kept her limits.