short version: dh has to fly back home- emergency with his mother- he's gone from me and our two kids now. Back a few years ago while we were dating- he was seeing another girl and didnt tell either one of us that he was dating the other etc- so have trust issues- and they havent been totally restored yet since that incident. Anyways- so he's back home for 2 weeks and i havent talked to him in 3 days and we talk for all of 3 minutes and in that time he says, "I'm going to a party at ___'s house tonight" (said friend is a male btw).. however said friend is friends with the "other" girl from back then who still elaves him messages online that say "i think thats why we hit it off so well" yada yada.. anyways and then he says, "i went to __bar___ last night and ___females first and last name__ followed me around all night until she staggared to her cab. it was creepy." What did he mean by that? Should I assume he's cheating? What would have his point have been for telling me?
2007-12-24 17:20:08 · 10 answers · asked by Amy Clark 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Back a few years ago while we were dating- he was seeing another girl" Okay he was dating another girl while dating you as well. He was single, dating someone doesn't mean commitment, it means dating period. You have no right to have trust issues. I would say that you need to assume that you need to seek therapy for YOUR trust issues before they destroy your marriage.
2007-12-24 18:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all a bit suspicious but not completely indicative that he's cheating. You guys have some communication problems to work out, though - and some trust problems too.
re the girl from when you were dating - were you exclusive at the time or not? if not, then it wasn't cheating.
re the party, next time that happens, say you'd like to go with him. Does he freeze up? Have a problem with it?
re the telling you about the chick in the bar, there are many possibilities. Could be...
1. he's needling you because he knows you don't trust him, which is not very nice, and you are overdue for a talk
2. he's genuinely complaining because the girl is stalking him, in which case he needs to be told he can solve this problem by taking a firmer stand and telling her to back off, permanently.
3. he's trying to let you know something unpleasant, like he's seeing her or interested in her, and you are overdue for a talk.
regardless of #1 or #3 it would be within your rights as his wife to ask that he stop communicating with her, and that he ask her to stop emailing and calling, because he is married now, thank you very much.
2007-12-25 02:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by annalisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems weird that he's going out a lot and after not seeing him or talking to him, he goes out. My dh doesn't go to parties without me, unless they're work parties. I would say it's not normal for a guy who's married with 2 kids to go out all the time solo. I mean, once a month with his buds is more average, maybe once a week for some guys. I'm wondering why you went ahead and married him if there were trust issues. With cheating, you gotta either decide to forgive and trust (after a time) or separate. I honestly woudln't trust him either, in your shoes. It sounds like maybe you should take a hard look at why you are with this guy, what you are getting out of this marriage, and how seriously he takes this marriage. I agree with the others, he doesn't sound mature and probably enjoys the ego boost of attention from other women like this one. Good luck!
2007-12-25 01:49:05 · answer #3 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he lacks maturity. Why would he be heading out to bars and parties while you are home raising the children. Whether he is cheating or not, he is not instilling good moral values in your children and you need to make some decisions here.
2007-12-25 01:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by WhiteChocolate 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's trying to be open. He isn't thinking that this will make you even more insecure. If you don't trust him why are you with him?
2007-12-25 01:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wall of words
2007-12-25 01:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by ViewtifulJoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend counseling for you both.
2007-12-25 01:53:56 · answer #7 · answered by cathy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating . probley where he did it before he will again and again . my honest opion?
2007-12-25 01:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him!
2007-12-25 01:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno honey. If you can't trust him 100%, then maybe you should save yourself the constant worry and aggravation by leaving him.
2007-12-25 01:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋