Do you think you should have had your kids at a younger age or older age? I'm deciding on when to have kids. Obviously, I know that its different for each person...but just want to see what most people think about having kids in general. For eg. I have been married for 1.5 years and my hubby wants us to travel more before having kids.
2007-12-24 15:53:07 · 12 answers · asked by Gumnaam1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I tried for kids right after I married but I was unsuccessful. I was also very impatient, I was expecting to get pregnant within weeks of trying but it never happened. I was young so after awhile I thought that I should wait a couple more years, maybe go back to school to find a new, better job. So that's what I did. Years later I now have a degree & 2 beautiful kids.
2007-12-24 16:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my first child when I was 21, and the second at 24. At the time it was very difficult because I was not financially stable, ancd kids are expensive! Plus I divorced at 27. But I have no regrets. They are 20 and 22 now and I love being 'young' enough to hang out with them and have a really good time. We relate very well and are very close. But it is a personal preference. I can see how being an older begining parent has many many many advantages :)
2007-12-24 16:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by whispurrr_on_a_scream 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time I got pregnant, I was only 19, in college, life was very unsettled. That pregnancy ended when the baby died at 4 1/2 months gestation. I tried again for years, and at 27, I got pregnant again.
I must say, a child is truly a blessing... No greater joy, love, or fullfillment have I ever known. But, I do know that I was a much more loving, patient, and kind parent at the later age than I would have been at 19.. at 19, I was still trying to find my place in the world ... by 27, I had settled into my role pretty much and didn't feel that my child was "holding me back" from anything... Plus, I was stable financially and emotionally enough to be a strong support for her.
Whenever a child comes into your life, know that you are the most important people in his or her life, and now, your life centers around them. Embrace the love and tender moments, they pass so quickly... It's true, a baby changes everything.. (and I wouldn't have wanted to miss this for the world!!!!)
2007-12-24 16:05:44 · answer #3 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Had my first when I was 20 years old.
At age 27 I am pregnant with my second.
I don't regret having a child at such a young age since it was part of my plan. Family life was what I wanted and I got it.
It felt like I had nothing to live for until I was blessed with a child.
Life in college didn't seem to matter, going out partying wasn't important either. Being a mother was much more full filling and it is the right path for me.
My children and my husband are my life, without them I wouldn't be happy.
2007-12-24 16:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by Flower 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have two children. I was 22 when I had my son and 25 when I had my daughter. I am very happy that I had my children when I did. They are now 19 and 16 and I have been able to be so active and involved with them. Also, now that they are getting ready to 'leave the nest', I find that I am still young enough to be able to do the things I've always wanted to.
I have many friends my age who waited to have their children and now in their 40's are toting toddlers to playdates or scurrying to soccer, dashing to dance class, enduring chaotic carpools, and all the things that I did when I was younger and had the stamina to survive.
However, if your husband wants to travel more, you should consider his feelings. If you were to decide to start your family now, he may resent the fact that the child(ren) prevented him from doing the things he wanted to do.
Consider what each of you wants to accomplish in marriage, in parenting, and in LIFE. Then plan your family accordingly.
You are wise to be thinking about this and not just rushing into having or postponing kids.
Good Luck!
And Happy Holidays!
2007-12-24 16:21:49 · answer #5 · answered by Tauri Athena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had my first when I was 22. Yeah it scared the living begebus out of me, but I'm glad I was younger. I had my second at 26 and now I'm expecting my 3rd at 28. I didn't want to be an old parent. I wanted to be able to relate better with my kids and to have the energy to keep up with them. Not to mention I want to be able to enjoy my "golden years" with my husband... not be wondering when these kids will "finally be out of the house."
It's really a matter of preference. I think being a "younger" parent I have more patience than an older parent might.
2007-12-24 16:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by Gryph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask 1st how old you are , you've been married for 1 and a 1/2 years I do think that's to soon to bring babies into the relationship , depending on how long you were dating before you married , or even if you lived together before your marriage.
For example:
The start of a new relationship has the lust lasting usually about 9 to 15 month's if there arent to many stress issues like money , kid's , ex partners so on and so forth.
By the 2nd year your still lusting , but you have more admiration and pride in your chosen partner.
When you reach the 3 year mark , your lust is fading into comfortability , you respect your spouse more and the honour and pride of knowing they are yours needs to be shown more in public then before .Your devotion to your spouse has set in about this time.
By the 4th year it's love and I mean true blown full love.A lot of people confuse lust with love and thats what they base their feelings and emotions on.
Love is about committment , trust , honesty , loyalty , devotion , admiration , the ability to be true to the spouse chosen without 2nd guessing or wondering what if.Love is about the comfortability and acceptance of life as it bring's you peace and happiness and harmony , it's about not feeling the need to get fine jewelry , cars , boats , houses , or going out for romantic dinner's that cost more then the couch you sit on at home to eat pizza.
Love is about accepting one's flaws and mistake's and being able to forgive .Love is about alot of thing's , but only love grown from true faith in the belief of love can bring everything I have listed.
If you can justifiably state you are ready emotionally , physically , financially then go for it but dont do it unless your husband is 100% on the same page as you because he will resent you for rushing into things before you get to know each other and know 100% for certain your in love and you can last through anything.
Good luck.
2007-12-24 20:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I had my 1st son , Iwas at 35 the second at 37..absoulutly no regrets..(regrets on my husband lol) but no regrets waiting for children..by the time I had them, I was fiancially well to do..my buisness that I started when I was 26 was already established, so i am able to go in 3x a week..etc..good age and i feel young still..I am 42 and my boys are 5 and 7.
2007-12-24 16:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by josiejo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a parent and am 22 years old. I have many friends who are my age and have children already. They love their kids, no doubt, but I'm sure they wish they had waited to have them. They are a lot of work and you have to give up your life in order to be a good parent. I'm glad I can go out and do whatever I want, whenever I want. Once you have kids, that ends QUICKLY.
2007-12-24 16:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had my first child at 21 and my second at 27.
My regrets - I wished that I had gotten a vasectomy at 18.
2007-12-24 22:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋