what's the nicest way to tell your mother to "butt out"?

Question

i'm newly divorced but occaisionally engage in "ex-sex". my mother always finds out when he's spent the night (we live in a small town) and insists on trying to send me on a guilt trip.

i'm in no way attatched to this man other than friends with benefits now, but don't feel that i need to explain myself to her.

i didn't TELL anyone. he parks at my house, which is three blocks from hers. I'm not going to make him hide his truck, that's just stupid.

Answer 1

While that's not a good idea, because no one will want you if you are still sleeping with your ex, and Heaven only knows what he's contracted from others he's sleeping with just, ummm.....

Well, how in the WORLD did your mom find out in the first place? Did you tell her? If so, sorry to say, but there's not much you can do about it. Or did you tell other people about it? Either way, anything you don't want anyone knowing, NO TELLING ANYONE.

Edit: Could be she's tired of hearing about it from the neighbors, and you can move further away from your mom's house any time you want if you want more privacy.

You can do what you want, but understand, your sleeping with your ex is only hurting yourself(well, and mom too, since she gets to hear about it) since no one will want you knowing you still spread em and play ho for your ex. That's how any potential mate will see it, and it WILL disgust them.

Answer 2

Well I dont need to tell you, Im sure your Mom already has, but for kicks.. What are you thinking?

Divorce is divorce. Theres break-up sex. Make-up sex, but no we just got divorced-sex.

Just by thinking that you have to verbaly state you are not interested to "this man" proves you actually, are very much attached.

If there is so much passion still there, why the divorce? Why not reconcile?

Or better yet, move on? But sleeping with your ex-husband will definatley prevent that from ever happening.

In regards to your mother, who I dont assume to be a big problem as the mouths your neighbors. Explain to your mother why you still see "that man". Help her understand.

Make sure you're sitting down because once you say it out loud, you'll want to kick yourself in the ***.

Answer 3

than grow up and tell mom to mind her business. inform her that you are grown and you dont have to explain your actions to her and anyone else, but if you would like to know mom i do occasionally sleep with him and i have every right because we are ex s now and thats what we do. why should i demand for him to respect me since am continuing to sleep with him. he can have all the other women he wants mom we all get some on sometimes the same night. whats the big deal mom if i dont move on with my life and realize why we got a divorce in the first place. mom i have low self esteem even though i act like i dont care be i really do and a small part of me want him back but since he cant commit to me like i want i'll take him anyway i can which is on the booty call nights and some how i try to keep it from you because am really ashamed because you did instill morals and values in me but i lose them every time he wants to come calling. OH my bad you asked another question didnt you. well i gave you some mental food for thought. you are better than this. but you have to believe and think it on the regular. mom only wants whats best for you and you stooping this low in breaking her heart to see you allowing yourself to be treated like this. GodBless.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with ex sex. My ex and I had ex sex for about two years after the divorce, until eventually we just felt ready to let go and date others. There was no fear of disease because we were only doing it with each other. Not all marriages end because one or the other are cheaters. We had split over money fights not infidelity. Living apart and each handling their own money took that pressure off and so ex sex was great. I say just smile and change the subject with your mom, thus making it clear to her that your sex life is not up for discussion.

Answer 5

Better watch it. You might want to check your Divorce decree for a clause that states if both parties reunite for sex the court will consider it an act of contempt and both parties can be jailed. You might want to hope that your mother doesn't bring your "friends with benefits" situation to the attention of the court.

Answer 6

Then don't explain. Just smile, and either use the same pat answer over and over or don't answer at all. Either way she will get the message that you aren't going to be drawn into a discussion or argument. People will generally start to feel kinda stupid when they are ranting alone, and will usually shut up.

Answer 7

Mom, I know how you feel and I respect that. I also respect your opinion but there are just some things I guess I have to learn on my own. If I ever need advice on this situation I promise you will be the one and only person I will come to. But for now, please let me do it my way. I love you and thanks for caring about me so much.

Answer 8

I live in a neighborhood where they would know immediately too. In small towns we "think we know everything" and we "see everything".

Tell her straight up. If she is asking about your sex life and him staying over, just tell her.............it is just sex. It is comfortable and I want to be with him.

Be careful that your heart doesn't get broken.......it is hard to turn off feelings and sex.

Answer 9

U tell her the samething I told my mom, "It's my life, I love u but I need to do what's right for me". U tell her as long as ur happy she should be happy too. Gotta love them, u know they're just looking out for u but GOD, I think we're old enough to know what the heck we're doing, right or wrong who cares as long as we're happy!! Love me unconditionally mom thats w/ no limitations!

Answer 10

why are you wasting your time with a man that is an ex ? move on to find a better match. having sex with the ex is just a pity f- -- k anyway.