If the definition of infidelity is (read below) then is it grounds for divorce if we promised not to..?

Question

dance with others and I did, while my husband is deployed.
I danced with a guy, and hes angry that its technically infidelity -- since we had a pact.

"the infidelity is you took somethign that was special to me (sexually or emotionally) and gave it to someone else.
I thought we had a special relationship and you contaminated it, it doesnt feel special anymore.
you shared something very precious to me with another"

Is this grounds for a legal divorce.
Since we did have a pact not to do anything with anyone while separated?

P.S. can my husband subpoena my yahoo account emails?

Answer 1

No. It will not form the basis for any "at fault" petition for divorce in any state that hasn't outlawed dancing. Since I am unaware that dancing is a crime in any state, you should be fine. But let me ask you this. Do you wish to remain married to someone who talks to you in such a demeaning fashion? Dancing does not equate with infidelity except in the mind of a twisted person.

And yes, any and all of your e-mail accounts may be subpoenaed in an action for divorce.

Answer 2

No, it is not grounds for a legal divorce. Any judge would probably laugh your husband out of the courtroom for that one.Unfortunately, judges don't care if you have a video of your spouse in bed with someone else.
No, he cannot supoena your yahoo account. It is just a threat.

It does sound like your husband has trust and control issues. Maybe you would be better without him? He chose to be in the military and to be away from you.

Answer 3

it doesn't fall under the scope of infidelity.

Just because you have a pact doesn't hold any water. You need to have a life outside of the military family stereotype.

You didn't have sex with the guy so your husband doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Answer 4

i don't think you should be dancing w/other guys. if you are not mature enough to handle a relationship that may require long deployments then perhaps you shouldn't have married a serviceman. how would you feel if he was dancing or doing more w/ a women where he is. i don't think you'd like it. you have to respect the marriage and the agrrements you've made in his absense and if you can't or won't handle it then you need to divorce. just giving it to you straight dear.

Answer 5

Are you sure the dance is the only thing you are worried about?

I think you are the best person to resolve this matter since it is only you who knows exactly what is going on. Other people's answers may not help, unless what you are saying here is 100% accurate.

Answer 6

This is what happens when people are possessive and controlling.

It sucks to be in Iraq, but where does it state you must be in a coma during his deployment? It won't even hold the ink on the paper it's written on in a court of law, let alone be subpoenaed from court of law.

Answer 7

He sounds a bit controlling. Does he consider it cheating if you talk to others as well. I would definitely think long and hard about holding on to this one. You might be better off by yourself.

Answer 8

That's really difficult.

Part of me says no, it's not infidelity but the other part of me thinks this poor guy is deployed and is probably missing the hell out of you. I can understand how this might hurt him.

Best of luck and I hope y'all can work it out.

Answer 9

First place, you're making it seem a lot more difficult than it is to get a divorce. Most all states all you need to file is the fee. Doesn't really matter what he can prove. You broke a promise to him and that's it. He's done with you. What are you hiding in your yahoo account?

Answer 10

Infedelity is no longer grounds for divorce in the U.S.