Hes in Iraq right now.
And me and my girlfriends went out, and his sister saw me dancing with another guy.
He DID tell me if I didnt want him to dance with anyone then I cant dance with anyone through our marriage.
But its just dancing.
He says he wants to leave me now, and he says it was because of infidelity.
We live in georgia -- can he actually use this against me?
It was just dancing.
2007-12-24 12:43:54 · 14 answers · asked by Back on the market 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...I will give him credit for being stressed out. I assume he is in Iraq for the war. He is working for our country and devoting his life... Not an easy thing. He is away from his family and friends, and may not even know when he is coming home...so give him a little slack.
I think right now, he is just pissed and needs space. Don't run to a lawyer yet. Give him verbal space for a week (keep emailing him though...emotionally he needs those correspondences) But, don't use the phone... he will just be angry. Assure him, ASSURE HIM, ASSURE HIM in his emails that you LOVE HIM.
People do and say dumb things when they are stressed and trauamatized. Hopefully he will just get over this.
Oh... and as a side note, sit his sister down, at dinner out...your treat... And guilt her to HELL!! In a kind way, tell her that he is in another country and away from everything he knows and telling him things like that, is not a help. Talk to their mother for support if you can...
Hope it works out...
2007-12-24 13:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old expression:
"Dance is just a vertical expression of a horizontal desire"
I guess that is why some people are sensitive about their mates dancing with another person.
If you have been honest with him and it was only a dance and he still will not sit down and discuss this quietly then you have much greater problems in your marriage than supposed infidelity. The age of "who's at fault" in a divorce is long gone, the end result is the same. There are obvious trust issues in your marriage and unless they are properly dealt with and settled your marriage is doomed anyways.
Good Luck, you're gonna need it.
Dave.
PS. And NO, dancing does NOT count as infidelity !
2007-12-24 20:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by d4dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dancing is not infidelity and all that you were doing was dancing with another guy. Dancing is not cheating at all and I also live in Georgia. Sounds like your sister-in-law is just wanting to cause you problems. You shouldn't go out and dance anymore while your husband is overseas.
2007-12-24 20:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't even remotely close to infidelity. You didn't go to bed with the guy you danced with, and just because he's over there and you are over here, you do need to get out every once in awhile or you'll go nuts.
As a former Army paralegal we got questions a lot like this especially when the troops were going for a one-month deployment. It isn't adultry because there was no sexual contact.
2007-12-24 20:58:03 · answer #4 · answered by David T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that was just a innocent dance now if there was kissing and touching involved then I'd say yes. Sounds like to me he just using that as an excuse to bounce on your marriage. Don't worry honey there are better men out there. My hubby (soon to be ex) wants to just be friends, but still live as a married couple he wants me and other females not going to work. Just be careful he maybe setting you up.
2007-12-24 21:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy has issues. If he is willing to end a marriage over something this trivial he didn't want to be married to start with and you are probably better off without him. What difference does it make whether he uses this in court or not, you said it was all just innocent dancing?
2007-12-24 20:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dancing with another is not adultery...adultery is sexual activity with someone else other than your husband....if you were at a family function and you danced with a relative...is that adultery too? and incest? Nonsense.....
No one can get a divorce on the grounds of dancing with another...he'd be laughed right out of divorce court...he can go for an uncontested divorce and not have any grounds, just has to live apart from you without sex for a certain period of time......maybe he's hiding something...ask him if he's been sleeping with someone other than you, cause you sure haven't been sleeping with anyone else....Good Luck.
2007-12-24 20:53:43 · answer #7 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he already has used it against you. If you told him you wouldn't you shouldn't have. Pretty simple huh? It may be just dancing but it can be a prelude to more.
2007-12-24 20:53:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating? No.
Betrayal of trust? Yes.
Most states have no fault divorce. If he wants to leave you, he can do just that.
2007-12-24 21:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to say this is you but in most states you could do anything and it does not make a difference take drugs/cheat/what ever your still going to get half
2007-12-24 21:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋