why is my mother prejudice?

Question

My mother doesnt approve of me dating a hispanic male, who happens to be well educated, financially stable, kind and respectful!

Answer 1

maybe you should ask her and talk to her in the most respectful way. ^_^

Answer 2

Prejudice is a pretty harsh term. I would recomend you confront your mom about her views on Hispahics before jumping to conclusions.

If your mom says she doesn't like your boyfriend for a legitimate reason (e.g., he has a criminal record) then at least you'll know what her real concern is and be able to work with that.

Assuming your mother is prejudice, I would blame the following factors:
- She grew up in an environment where it was okay to dislike Hispanics.
- She has embraced the untrue steretype that Hispanics are lazy.
- She doesn't have very many Hispanic friends.

Regardless of the reason, I wish you luck. It's hard having a parent to dissaproves of the people you date. But if she dissaproves of your boyfriend because of his race, then please remember that you are right and she is wrong. There are no two ways about it. Prejudice is harmful, dysfunctional, sinful, ignorant and is condemned by nearly everyone on earth.

Answer 3

Your Mother loves you and wants what is best for you. Relationships are difficult enough without added factors. I take it that you are not hispanic. that is a huge cultural difference. It is not prejudice as much as it is protectiveness. Ask her this. You might be surprised. Dating is learning to discover what you like and don't like in a relationship so that you can have a better idea of what you will need and want in a mate for life. It is always easier to try and find someone who is compatible with your lifestyle. Sorry folks, but I think Mother's are generally right. They know you better than anyone.

Answer 4

Please ask your mother the big question 'WHY', at a calm moment, when the two of you are alone and won't be interrupted. She just might have a story to share with you and it might be a great time for you two to becomes closer.
I can only tell you that most mothers only want what is best for their daughters. She might not even be prejudice, but worried for you, if you should marry this fellow.
YES, he sounds wonderful, but marriage is tough enough (check out the divorce rates now a days) without the extra burden of trying to blend two cultures along with two families. Again, she might not be prejudice at all, just worried for her daughter. Let mom tell you ' The rest of the story '.

Answer 5

I know this is stereotypical but because you're asking us instead of your mother, I'm going out on a limb here and say possibly she fears that he's all sweet and gooey now but if you become serious with him, his machismo heritage may appear. Might also be a difference in religions. Best to have this conversation with her and give her a chance to express her feelings. If he's 'all good' I can't see why she'd have a problem - either something's missing from this equation or she is just prejudiced.

Answer 6

It does seem like some of her opposition to you is influenced by your cultural background, and that's a same. There are seems to be a personality clash. Just don't spend more time with her then you need to and relate your concerns to your husband. Hopefully, he will respect the fact that you don't feel close to his mother and will keep it at that.

Answer 7

Are you old enough to make your own decisions?
If so, then why do you need your mother's "approval"?
Your mother should be grateful that you found someone that makes you happy, and who treats you well...that's all that matters. Show her, by continuing with your dating of this person, that you are deserving of a good man, regardless of skin color. We are all the same on the inside.

Answer 8

She is the product of her own experiences. Most of us start out a clean slate and as we get older we sometimes get jaded or tired out from certain experiences we have had and it makes us feel certain ways that others (like our children) cannot understand because they have not lived our lives.

I saw this in my own parents. For myself I have tried to always take each person as an individual as you describe your boyfriend, but before you completely write your mom off for her beliefs you should sit down with her and ask her this same question. Maybe you can help her to see this young man as an individual and a good person and not part of a group that for some reason she distrusts and feels hurt by.

Good luck and remember: Communication is the basis for all good relationships even those between parent and child.

Answer 9

Has your mother taken any actions, or made any comments otherwise to suggest she is prejudice/racist?

What I mean to say is consider this: Maybe your mother disapproves because she will disapprove of whoever you date, mothers can be like that.
Maybe your'e just hypersensitive to the fact she may be prejudice, and you see what you want to.

Answer 10

Ask her why she doesn't like him and what she is afraid is going to happen. Is this the 1st guy you have dated? Did she like anyone? Maybe she doesn't want you to date anyone...because you could get hurt. Maybe she dated a Hispanic person and he broke her heart.

Answer 11

My family was just like yours. I think it's because your parent want the best for you. The best that they think what the best is. She doesn't agree with you right now about your boyfriend because maybe she doesn't know how well your boyfriend is treating you... or even if she knew it she doesn't accept it because what you chose is different from what she wants you to have. What I want you to say is to follow your gut because you live only once.