as some of you may know i posted a question related to this before. so today my wife left with her parents to go to her ex husbands house for christmas and she will be staying there until new years. i have tried stopping her but she refused, as she said she wants to stay friends with him. there are no children involved so the only gift i had to give her was her own. i couldnt come as her ex husband wouldnt allow. i asked her about cheating and she got mad and said no she isnt cheating and she said that i could stand outside and watch as proof but couldnt come inside as her ex husband doesnt want me there. this would have been our first christmas together. im all alone me and my family haven't spoken since i was 16. what am i to do to pass the time?
2007-12-24 11:01:39 · 17 answers · asked by Hi T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. Something is VERY wrong with this picture. This would be a deal-breaker for me; I'd be out the door, I really would.
2007-12-24 12:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What can you do to pass the time? You can begin to reevaluate your relationship with your wife. I can't believe you went for this crap. This is not right. No husband and wife should be apart on the holidays unless they are in the military. She is not a soldier so wtf is going on. You damm right she's cheating. If you aren't allowed to be where she is then there is obviously something to hide. I don't know of anyone who gets along with their ex that well and futhermore If this was so innocent then the ex-husband would have no problem inviting you also, they must have something to hide. Christmas time is a wonderful time of the year and it should be shared with your family and friends. I would never go somewhere with out my man on this special day and he wouldn't put up with this crap from me. You deserve to be respected and if you don't stand up for yourself now you are headed for a lifetime of pain. Her emotional ties are not with you-if they were she would be there with you. Trust me on this, as a woman, there is nothing that will or can keep me from my love on christmas day-NOTHING. Your wife has warped thinking and until you take a real stand your gonna keep going through all kind of ****. What will the new year bring? You might want to consider divorce-you wife is clearly not over her ex. If she was she'd be there with you right now making some holiday cheer. Don't let her walk over your feelings-her actions will lead to your heartbreak if you continue to let it. In the meantime, maybe you should try to make a connection with your family. You were a child when you left and stop speaking to them and i'm sure you have someone in your family that would love to hear your voice. Maybe you could call to wish them a merry christmas. Remember this, there can only be two people in a marriage. Those two people have to communicate with each other regularly. They must show respect for feelings and try not to hurt each other. The wife must take care of the husband and the husband the wife. The bible says that the two become one, in marriage. There is no room for a third party, for any reason. There are not alot of men who would allow their wives to remain in company of an ex let alone spend the holidays with them. So why do you put up with it? Spend the holidays figuring out if your gonna keep playing 2nd best to the ex and then make a plan to move on from this crazy relationship. Hope all goes well. Just my thoughts.
2007-12-24 19:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by REALADY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would be very hurt & angry over what she's doing to you. How can anyone think that leaving her husband on Christmas Eve to go stay with her EX-husband - for DAYS! - would be the right thing to do? Is she trying to send you a message? If my husband even thought about going anywhere like that without me, it would be THE END. She seems to be oblivious to the hurt she ie causing you. If you can sit her down & tell her how that makes you feel, maybe she'll wake up & realize that she's married to YOU now & needs to let go of that old life.
2007-12-24 20:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pass the time by talking to a marriage counsellor or a divorce lawyer. She is not a good wife to leave you alone at Christmas especially to stay with her ex husband. That is just ridiculous.
2007-12-24 19:22:27 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult a divorce lawyer...what in the hell is wrong with her that she chooses to spend Christmas and the entire week with her ex instead of her husband?????
I'd call her and tell her she has one of two choices...spend Christmas and all upcoming holidays with you, or she can stay at her ex's permanently. She has 24 hours before you change the locks.
She can remain friendly with him but at your expense? And her parents are in on this insanity too?
You need your head examined right along with hers for putting up with this.
becareful if she suddenly turns up pregnant....more'n likely it'll turn out to be his.
Now I really have heard of everything!
2007-12-24 19:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you two married? She obviously has no loyalty to you as her husband, I'm just wondering what it is that possessed you to even have married this woman because this is NOT what a wife does at Christmas. I say on the 26th you start looking for a divorce lawyer and have her served while she is staying with her ex...on abandoment charges because that is what she has done...abandonded her marriage for her ex husband.
2007-12-25 00:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pass the time moving all the stuff out of the house and into storage, while you find a new place to live. By the time she gets back, you will be settled in your new digs, and filing with an atty.
2007-12-24 20:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She aint yo wife.. Because if she was she wouldnt be putting no other man in front of you.. even if its friends. Friends come last in a realtionship. Forget that. I think you should just tell her if she wants to spend so much time with her ex. maybe she should be with him instead. Anyways good luck.. but go with your heart. If you feel you deserve better then you do.
2007-12-24 19:11:12 · answer #8 · answered by seximami110206 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd spend it getting a good lawyer and filing for divorce. Your wife obviously has no regard for your feelings. None. She left you behind to go stay with her ex. Where did you find this skank? Dump her @ss.
2007-12-24 21:43:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is cold man, specially if they don't have kids and her parents are going!! I would think they want them to get back together! This is bad, if he wouldn't allow you to come then she should have declined the invitation, sounds like they are still really tight!
2007-12-24 19:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by Lv Dr. 4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋