My brother has cancer. None of his old mates ever comes to see him. Now that he is out of the hospital, he spends most of the time in his room. I'm worried that he'll be sick again, because he is so low, I wish there was something I could do to cheer him up?
2007-12-24 10:20:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go find his friends and kick their butts and make them go see him and don't tell him that you did this. They are just guys and probably are afraid and don't know what to say. Put a sense of shame in them and they'll snap out of it. I did it for my husband when he was ill and his company co-workers didn't call him. He was so happy. It's worth it to put yourself on the line when you see someone you love suffering. Don't rub it in his face or remind him that they aren't coming to see him though, that will make him worse.
2007-12-24 10:27:18 · answer #1 · answered by Creole38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I describe myself as a happy recoverer of 3 cancers, (from neck to lungs)
I'm really positive about my treatments, and 'fool around' about the illness, never taking myself seriously, but I'm lucky cause my family/friends have only ever been 'positive' with me , and I've always insisted that we talked about my illness openly, and freely.
And that's the problem ... It's your brothers friends who are trying to cope, and they can't, and don't know what to do or say..especially if he's in his room, and in bed.
It's visiting the 'sick' that they can't come to terms with, and conversation is difficult when your trying to ' be careful, not to say the wrong thing or to tire the person out', and being in his room, is like being back at the hospital, 4 walls and a bed.
Can you not encourage your brother to leave his room, and go downstairs ? even if he sits in a chair, or lies on the settee ?
Then, start to encourage him, to think more positive, get him interested in having friends around, whilst the TV's on, or the stereo.. anything that's a distraction, and will make the 'mood' lighter, for both him and his mates.
Find and buy what he's interested in, MP3/4 music, sports channel, (special games, football, wrestling etc even if you or your family have to 'order and pay' for the event), try buying him an I POD, ok it's expensive.. but anything, he really needs to 'get back into the world' and as soon as possible.
His friends will soon come back and feel more relaxed around him, but that goes for his family to. Talk openly, and encourage him to express how he feels, he's probably very frightened right now, I was, and I still get periods of depression, that comes and goes, but that's natural.
Just be there for him.. encourage him and tell him, his lifes not over until it's over !!! and until then , you're going to be by his side, through-out...
Hope this works..he will get stronger.. just get him out of that room !!!
a friend x
2007-12-24 12:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by CARAMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People may not be so much cruel as afraid , of what to say , a hang up cancer from years ago is that is was a certain death sentence ,people are sometimes a little ignorant of the advances in medical science , my wife while not fully recovered , experienced this , people did not call because they were afraid it was like seeing you before you died, tell his friends and change their attitude , the might pass it on. Cancer is not a death sentence people can and do recover.
2007-12-24 10:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by Max Power says relax 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad :-(
I bet his mates don't intend to be cruel though. It's just that a lot of people don't know how to react in this situation and are afraid they will do or say the wrong thing. The fear keeps them away. Is it possible that you could contact them and talk to them ? It may be that they will be only too glad to come and see him.
I wish you and your brother all the luck in the world. Take care
2007-12-24 10:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by dragondrums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not state how old your brother is but I suspect I know the problem. Young people feel invincible. They rarely even consider death. When one of their own is so stricken it scares the hell out of them. Gazing upon one so sick reminds them of their own mortality. Not something a lot of young people are ready to face.
If you cannot convince some of them to visit, you will have to serve as his connection to the world. Talk to him about things going on in the community to help him live it. You do not say if he is terminal or recovering. If he is recovering, be encouraging and positive. If he is not, let him express his feelings.
Merry Christmas!
.
2007-12-24 10:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by Jacob W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man this is really SAD...hmmmm..Thom dunno who r u m...but I m proud of U , that u wanted make u brother wanted feel his life again.Well....hmmm....
OK.
first step u have to get close to ur brother if u really wanted to cheer him up.When my lil bro is feeling down , we both started to JAM(i m guitarist,bro is keyboardist).That lift up the mood for a whole.Get the playstation or ur Xbox warmed up.Games really awesome this days.And if u wanna take him out.Go for the jukebox concert with his favourite artist.With u r description I didn`t understand if he is cured or not.No that I might suggest get himself a chic.That my friend will surely change him from that situation (on the circumstances that the chic is a good one ;-). Hook himself with a community or forum.Anything that he has interest with.and please give him some time until u figure out what he can emerge himself into....
peace bro
Hope I have helped
2007-12-24 10:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by answerer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cerole 38 above me has the right idea... perhaps its just a scary situation for them.... freinds come and go.... just as long as your brother has peace with his own heart and a good sister to support him (which he has by the sounds of it).. Wishing you and your brother all the best for the holiday period.
2007-12-24 10:31:59 · answer #7 · answered by Spooky Mouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that I'm not cruel wish him a merry Xmas
and a fast recovery
2007-12-24 10:29:21 · answer #8 · answered by S Csparky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try ringing his old friends and giving them a good telling off! maybe they didnt visit him as they were scared about seeing him in a weakened condition
encourage your brother to go out and make new friends
2007-12-24 10:24:23 · answer #9 · answered by rose 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
i suppose that when he was "out of action" they only had 1 mate missing so it wasnt that bad for them but from his point, all his friends where missing so he was left alone. i hope he gets well soon, and try not to fret to much. xxx
2007-12-24 10:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by shelly.lamb 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋