" Forgiven"
She tries not to think about him
The guy she really thought was the one
A mature guy that she could count on
Someone who made her smile
Kept her believing in her dream
The person she could tell her sercets to
Yet he broke her heart
Remembering the argument
He was only looking worried about her
Standing in the sorrow rain
Tears fell, her eyes fell
Running away from the pain
Didn't realize where she was going
Deep down he felt her was crying
Feeling bad he went to apologize
Continuing to run, she noticed him
He walked slowly toward her
She backed away slowly, while the rain
continued pouring
Not realizing slippery mud was behind her
She lost her balance and began falling
He quickly grabbed hold of her and held her tight
While they rolled down the hill
When they stopped rolling, both lay there
She looked up and noticed his eyes were
staring at her
2007-12-24 09:59:12 · 9 answers · asked by Tori 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Closing her eyes she felt his kiss upon her lips
Heard him whisper " I will always be there for you."
Staring at him, a smile appeared upon her face
His smiled return to her heart
Story info:
He liked playing guitar; she liked dancing.
He liked rock; she liked pop.
He drank beer; she drank tea.
He wore hot topic; she wore aeropostale.
His friend said, " not a chance" & her friends said, " no way" & when the rest of the world turned their backs on them; they turned to each other.
2007-12-24 10:04:11 · update #1
I didn't ask for rude comment. I just asked a question.
2007-12-24 15:16:48 · update #2
i love it.
i cried a little :P
good job =]
2007-12-24 12:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kandice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poring Rain.
2007-12-24 10:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by evergirl_890 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's terrible. It's trite, stupid and unoriginal, like a bad R&B lyric. I suggest throwing it in the bin. It certainly doesn't deserve a title or anything.
2007-12-24 12:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first twenty-four lines are the poem...
Line twenty-five is bad and the
rest doesnt get any better.
Work those twenty-four lines into
something shorter that you like a lot.
2007-12-24 15:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by oldbob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ending is unexpected. I like the happy ending. :)
2007-12-24 22:11:31 · answer #5 · answered by Music and dancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is Amazing.
2007-12-24 10:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by oh snaap.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's pretty good and mysterious i really like it! i'll give u a star
2007-12-24 10:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by babie_gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
poorly written.
2007-12-24 11:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by hotel chelsea nights. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok.
2007-12-24 10:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋