First Kiss
Moonlight among us
Stars in the skies
Something about you
Puts a twinkle in my eyes
And as I think
About you day and night
You are just sitting there
Flashing me a smile so bright
Our eyes interlock
We know what will take place
As you come closer
The moon’s reflecting is on your face
I come forward
Our lips come together
And they felt as I dreamed
As light as a feather
We both pull apart
You let me wear your jacket
My dreams have come true
And no feelings could match it
We walk home together
I try to reminisce
The feeling I had
When I had my first kiss
please give me some advice on this poem shorter longer word changes anything to improve it
2007-12-24 09:15:52 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
omit last stanza. guess why?
2007-12-28 02:36:32 · answer #1 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u have a nice talent
i hope my girlfriend or wife writes such a beautiful poem for me (actually i dont have any) hahhahahahha
ur poem is simply beautiful
i hope i get this experience very soon
hahahahah
god work
all ur feelings have poured from ur heart
really not joking
have a good time
take care
keep in touch
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
2007-12-24 09:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by friendly_guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, jus keep it the same length.
Anyways, nice work.
Very romantic!!!!!!!
2007-12-27 21:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋