She was my aopted aunt whom i just adored and well she passed in october and this is there first x-mas without there mom and i want to say thew right thing and just feel ill land up with my foot in my mouth?
2007-12-24 08:36:33 · 7 answers · asked by cc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
this is actually for a card or something
2007-12-24 09:04:47 · update #1
they live out of town
2007-12-24 09:05:23 · update #2
Best thing to do is not bring it up unless they do. And if they do bring it up, say something uplifting like you are sure that she is with them in spirit, etc.
2007-12-24 08:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by CB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best way to handle this is to simply NOT say anything about the deceased. Sometimes not bringing up a difficult topic is the best way to avoid problems. Just go about the day as you normally would, with well-wishing and whatnot, and do NOT say anything about the mom unless the person says something first. In which case you simply say something like, "I'm sure she's with us," or "She'd want you to be happy today," or "She's with you in your heart," or something similarly ambiguous.
2007-12-24 08:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly how you and your friend are feeling. This is my first Christmas without my mother, who died in early November.
Let your friend know how much your adopted aunt meant to you and that you miss her too. Sharing memories of your time with her is so important and helps ease the grief.
If they are religious, you could rejoice with her that her mother is celebrating her first Christmas in heaven!
I totally disagree with those who said not to talk about her to your friend. We may have just buried our mothers but we have NOT abandoned her emotionally! Occasionally it's really good, and very important to share the sadness with someone who knew and loved her too.
Please accept my condolences for the loss of such a special person in your lives.
2007-12-24 09:17:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd find a bouquet of her favorite flowers with a nice note that said, In memory of your mom, who we loved, admired, and will miss. Or something to that effect.
I had a friend loose a mom, and another loose a baby (stillborn at 37 weeks), the first few years, I'd send a "Thinking of you" card. I always hoped it would help.
2007-12-24 09:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by KneeKnee 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
say something like, "I miss your mother. She was always so....(fill in the blank)...during the holidays." That way, your friend gets to hear someone else is aware of the empty spot, and she will either speak up and share her own thoughts too, or smile and nod, and move on, depending upon her mood. Your instinct to say something means you are very good friend; its difficult to know what to say, but it is far better to say something than to let the pain go in silence. Merry Christmas to you!
2007-12-24 08:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by wawawebis 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That her mother is right there with her and will always be there for her!
2007-12-24 08:47:35 · answer #6 · answered by cowwagon2000 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey sweetie, it's hard, huh.
do you want to go to a movie?
hey, would you like some santa cookies?
i really miss your mom. i loved her banana bread.
just make sure it's love.
2007-12-24 08:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋