I still love her though and don't want to lose her. She is so hurt though. How can we get through this?
2007-12-24 08:03:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
counseling... and please... i know this may sound like i am pushing religion on you... but go to church... pray and ask God to forgive you and then to help you forgive yourself... did you repent and ask your wife's forgiveness? if she forgave you and you truly realize that you were wrong and that you would never do anything like that again that's great... but if you cannot forgive yourself you are also in bondage, by will. it is not good to feel this way but it is often harder to forgive our own mistakes then the mistakes of others. please, seek counseling at a church nearby, and ask God to restore and renew your relationship with your wife. I know not everyone agrees, but I know personally that God's grace and love is sufficient enough to bring you through anything, no matter how terrible it may seem. This is your second chance, God is waiting for you to take it. I'm begging you, at least try... you have nothing to lose....
2007-12-24 08:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by ¡Sarita! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but unless someone was going to tell her or you gave her an STD from this encounter, you really shouldn't have told her and just lived with the guilt.
Now you have her questioning whether or not you are out screwing around when you go out and she's wondering what's wrong with her and why she isn't enough for you.
You have to apologize to her and tell her why this is NEVER going to happen again. You are going to have to put up with living your life in a very open--no secrets--checking in a couple of times a day-- manner for a while until she can regain her trust in you again.
This was done and over with 3 months ago for you, but since she just found out about it, it just happened to her. She's going to take a while to get over this. You may have to go into marriage counseling for her to get over this.
If she can't forgive you, if she doesn't regain her trust in you, and she continues to throw the one night stand back into your face at every argument after about a year...then she's never going to get over it and your marriage is over.
Good Luck, I hope you and your wife are able to move past this.
2007-12-24 16:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if my husband and I will survive marriage problems so..I feel for you. When trust is gone (a lot of my problem) you dont have much....your wife staying will depend on how much she loves you, but many times this is not enough...love. You have to give her time, you were unfaithful and that is just a boyish prank---you did something that will destroy most marriages.
You have to talk and decide if you want to give your marriage time to heal---you have to stop cheating and she needs to heal...you have a long road ahead of you...you must also "eat a lot of gravel" to stay married to your wife. It's not impossible to stay together after a spouse is unfaithful, I am just saying, its very hard to almost impossible.
Try to put up with each other until you get past this....you have to show a constant and unbroken display of trust. It will take a while of being consistently honest and trustworthy for your wife to heal...may take years.
2007-12-24 17:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by skyward 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can get through it, but it will NOT be easy, you destroyed her trust in you, and now you have to rebuild that trust that you lost, by showing her by your ACTIONS that she can trust you again. Because right now, words won't mean a thing to her.
Also, I think you and your wife should start going to marriage counseling, and especially with a Christian Marriage Counselor. Because they can counsel you from a Biblical point of view.
2007-12-24 16:08:45 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are stupid. Let's see you got drunk and wrecked your car. Now you wish that it did not happen because the car was not replaceable. She will never trust you again. You have broken the only bond that holds 2 people together. I hope that that trim was worth all of the hurt.
Unless she is really stupid you can not get through a wall that you built 3 months ago.
2007-12-24 16:19:25 · answer #5 · answered by jeff shaffer 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She is going to be hurt for a long time. Just don't do it again and try to regain her trust. But if you love her so much why didn't you consider her feelings before you cheated?
2007-12-24 16:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by Datlady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not your choice anymore. The decision is in her ball court. If she too wants to work it out, you will need counseling, time, and a lot of communication to get the trust back.
2007-12-24 16:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by sublime 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"I still love her though and don't want to lose her."
Okay, I guess that explains why you decided to tell her this on Christmas eve.
Well, at this point there is nothing you can do, it's done. It will be pretty much up to her.
2007-12-24 16:15:26 · answer #8 · answered by oklatom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You caused all the pain. If she forgive you then your a lucky man. She may not and may leave you so be prepared for the consequences. If she wants to work it out with you then you need to kiss alot ofass and go get some counseling
2007-12-24 16:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Leonidas 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
One day at a time.....I would suggest marriage counseling...It will take time for her to get over the pain and to regain the trust that she lost in you...
2007-12-24 16:07:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋