What do you think about the whole Deb LaFave deal?

Question

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/12/04/teacher.sex/index.html

She had sex with a student a few years ago, is on probation, and recently got arrested again for talking about sex with a 17 year old co-worker. See article for details.

Answer 1

To me she's always sounded like a person with major problems. She's not a paedophile as the boy she targetted was a teen, which puts her in a slightly different category, but her behaviour was entirely inappropriate as she was the teacher and he the student.

This latest thing does sound to me as though she was just engaging in 'workplace talk' as her lawyer said, BUT the problem is she should not done it, and it was explicitly forbidden in her parole agreement

Once again, no self discipline. With the boy, she had only to wait a couple of years and they could have legally had sex (depending on the age of consent where she lived), and with the job, she could simply have waited 12 months to engage in such chit chat and in the meantime taken herself off home and spent time with herself. I can believe she is lonely, but there are worse things. Like prison.

She's a strange, sick person, I'm sure she does have bipolar disorder as her lawyer claims, or some form of personality disorder anyway.

It's interesting though that so many men say 'oh I would have loved that to happen to me' ... it seems like it's a boyhood fantasy for the sexy female teacher to come on to them. Does that make it less damaging for boys than girls ~ or is 15 too old to regard it as being significant?

Honestly, I just don't know the answer to that. Boys and girls do mature at different rates and when it comes to sex there are such major cultural differences it's hard to estimate how it might work emotionally ... that is, what would be damaging, what wouldn't ... maybe it needs to be considered on a case by case rather than as a 'whole issue' scenario.

For example, there's a women somewhere in the states, the 'cool mum' case ~ she was the 'gang bang' for groups of teen boys in her town, they would just show up at her house, use her and take off. She was found to be involved in this and sentenced to 40 years in prison, after admitting she was doing it to try and be 'cool'. To me, it sounds like she's a bit nuts, anyway, or at least 'simple'. The whole scenario is sickening, especially as it involved adolescents, but 40 years is a long time for something that may or may not have been harmful to someone else.

I mean, I was raised in an era where boys would boast that their father had taken them to prostitutes to 'celebrate' their first public hairs, and that was considered a great thing. And boys who are 'virgins' are still considered not cool, they're supposed to be building up their stats from a fairly young age.

All around in our culture there is a strong emphasis on sex as a symbol of maturity and 'manliness', it's very prevalent and boys must be influenced by it to some degree, as well as by their own hormones and the traditional push for them to be sexually active and 'sow their wild oats'.

Of course, as far as elsewhere goes I'm outside looking in, but Australia's culture has always been largely derivative and that's what we've had from our UK and US 'parent' cultures, to date.

It really is an area that needs further investigation, imo. I suspect that in 100 years we might have a different view on some of these matters.

But in the meanwhile, even if sex with a 14 year old isn't damaging, Lafave betrayed her duty of care as a teacher and adult in charge and for that alone she deserves punishment. This latest charge seems fairly minor (she's not a lesbian so this talking with a teen girl is not likely to be predatory, imo), but another year's probation with strict conditions should probably be considered.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

She worked in a restaurant. Her Boss had someone else take the tables with children. So she is not deliberately around children.

Her probation for the last two years has been perfect, as I understand it. She has to earn a living. My opinion is that this is over kill in regard to probation violations.

She was making conversation with a fellow female worker. She had sex with a BOY. She is going to be around young adults sometimes. That is just the way life is.

I must admit I do not get the interest of adult women teachers having sex with teenagers. It really makes NO sense.

Answer 3

I think a male having sex with a female student would get 30 years.

Answer 4

Debra LaFave what can you say...... The terms of her probation prohibits here from speaking to a teenager. It may violate her probation, the courts will decide.

I could care less, her behavior does not affect me........ my questions is what harm.......
Jail her or not I DON'T CARE > There are more important things in the world to worry about.

Answer 5

This is going to be a hugely unpopular opinion but I'm going to say it anyway.
Nature seems to think that people are ready for sex at about 12 to 14 years of age. We have laws intended to prohibit sex until 18 years of age. Consentual intercourse between two sexually mature people is perfectly natural and probably shouldn't be illegal. The woman ought to be left alone.

Answer 6

she wasn't talking about sex. Was just a casual conversation. Probation officers are almost all a*ssholes, arrogant and drunk on their power. And the presses' reacation has been ridiculous. Another media tornado in a toilet bowl.

Oh, and piss on whatever squealer ratted her out.

Tell you what, when I was in high school, she could have abused me any damn way she wanted. Arf!

Answer 7

The UN should intervene and stop PC madness in America and Australia.
At the same time she is a "pedophile" and should be treated as a man in the same position would be.