I've asked these questions before, but helps to get advice from new people. My girlfriend has BPD. We seperate because of it, almost once amonth. She is a sweet beautiful person, then she turns the opposite, she's bad with me, eats away at everything I do. We are apart right now I have a hard time with it. She knows she has the problem and wants to stay away from me, instead of working on it. She trys to blame it on me but now she's coming to realizm that its her. What do I do at these apart times. Should I contact her in anyway. I know the desire and love are there for me, but she hides them. Then she calls and her whole outlook changes. Are there any secrets I'm missing?
2007-12-24 07:17:19 · 11 answers · asked by terry y 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Alot of us are like that....................Part of her does love ya I'm sure.....................
2007-12-24 07:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by J☼E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A primary feature of BPD is emotional lability (mood swings) and alternating patterns of idealizing and devaluing others, which sounds like what's happening. Also identity issues. It's a pretty serious disorder that, at its worst, can result in self-harm and other volatile behaviors. The best thing is to set limits (or basic rules) and then maintain them, knowing they're going to be challenged. But another question to ask is why are you so connected to someone who's so unstable? What are you getting out of it or what pattern is it replicating in your life?
2007-12-24 07:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by green_eyed_gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to be able to step back and not allow yourself to get upset when she is in one of her depressed moods. From reading your question, it seems like you have a pretty reasonable attitude toward the whole thing.
The most important thing you can do for her is to convince her to get professional help. From my own experiences, mood stabilizers and therapy can be very effective. I think the relationship will never be satisfying for either of you if she does not work to reduce her symptoms. Find a psychotherapist that will work with each of you individually as well as together.
Hope this helps.
2007-12-24 07:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until she gets professional help or perhaps the aid of medication, there is probably no real future for the two of you. She isn't choosing to be this way, she just is. Like any other illness, she has an illness of the mind and has to be treated for it. Until then, there is nothing that you can do. It's like trying to take someone's cancer away.
2007-12-24 08:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by JOURNEY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to kow this guy that had somethong really similar to that and he would be really nice at one point and could get really mean in a second. I think if your girlfiend wants to seperate then you should move on to someone that you are more comfortable with. Thta's just my opinion but if you want to contact her and get together again then if you think it's right, try again.
Good Luck
~Taylor~
2007-12-24 07:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk 2 someone that knows her very well, like her friends for advice. They could know what u should do considering they must be arond her a lot,
2007-12-24 07:20:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I'd dump her and move on.
Why? She shows no interest during her "sane" times in committing to solve this. You're her bf, not her therapist.
2007-12-24 07:20:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Get back with her so u can get the kitty kat. when she goes crazy starts flipping out or watever this is wat u do, ignore her dnt say nuthin just let her vent and then u go have sex. or just get another girl.
2007-12-28 04:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by Carlos F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a new girlfriend, it's not like your married.
2007-12-24 07:19:35 · answer #9 · answered by michinoku2001 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dump her and find another girl fool.
2007-12-24 07:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave her, look other women.
2007-12-24 07:25:33 · answer #11 · answered by pascua 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋